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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to give my cousin a lift home when she has a broken leg?

169 replies

NatJon · 05/08/2014 22:33

I was in my aunts house today visiting and her daughter, my cousin (27), came down with her 2 yo ds. My cousin has broken her leg so obviously can't drive. Her dp dropped her and their ds down and it was arranged he would pick them up again after he finished a job (self employed electrician).

After 2 hours I was about to leave when my cousin asked me if I would give her and her ds a lift home as her ds was getting bored and tired and she thought her dp would have been back by now. I said no problem as long as there was a spare car seat. My aunt has lots of grandchildren and usually there is is a spare one lying around.

The spare one was being used by another family member but cousin still insisted on a lift home. She lives 5 mins away by car but I was very uncomfortable travelling with her ds without a car seat. I told her this but she just kept saying over and over that it would be ok and she would belt him up, keep a hold of him etc. that he was getting cranky and I was being mean not helping her when she had a broken leg, it's only 5 minutes. I put my foot down and said no, it wasn't happening. Cousin got very angry and started swearing at me saying I was being a fucking prick. My aunt told her to stop talking to me like that but she continued.

She is never like this so it was quite upsetting for me to hear. After about 10 mins, thankfully her dp comes to collect them and the ds can travel safely.

I feel a bit bad I couldn't take them home when her ds was unsettled but thought it more
Important that he be protected in the event of a crash. Cousin obviously thought I was being unreasonable.

OP posts:
ShadowFall · 06/08/2014 16:40

Where does this 1:62 million chance of an accident come from?

Just off the top of my head, I can think of at least 5 people I know who've had car accidents (mostly minor, and most likely seat belts were in use) wiithin 2 miles of home. Give me a bit more time to think and I could probably come up with more.

Do I know lots of unfortunate / careless drivers or am I missing something about that statistic?

AlexVause82 · 06/08/2014 16:51

YABU

What if she had been having a heart attack and the hospital was down the road?

charleybarley · 06/08/2014 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShadowFall · 06/08/2014 16:57

Surely if she was having a heart attack you'd leave the child at the aunt's house with an adult (such as the aunt), rather than drag it to a&e?

slithytove · 06/08/2014 17:13

Plus, you know, heart attack = ambulance I would have thought

Thread is veering into the ridiculous now

lurkerspeaks · 06/08/2014 17:40

I wouldn't have done it.

Yanbu.

Not an emergency and consequences of an accident could be v. High.

SquattingNeville · 06/08/2014 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NatJon · 06/08/2014 17:53

Thank you all :)

Have to laugh at some of these comments though, sorry. The way some of you are posting it's as if I have left her stranded in the Sahara desert Grin

OP posts:
MyFairyKing · 06/08/2014 18:46

I know Nat, typical MN dramatics. She was left at her mother's house for an extra 10 mins FFS. Some people are acting like you left her stranded in a warehouse with no access to life saving medication for her child!

queenofthemountain · 06/08/2014 18:59

In this area the police force have been advised that the law on car seats is un enforceable, because they do not have the legal right to measure a child nor demand its DOB

PopularNamesInclude · 06/08/2014 19:08

YABU. As many have pointed out, it's absolutely legal to take a child on a short, one-off journey without a carseat. It doesn't need to be an emergency.

You were being precious.

However, she had no business losing it and swearing at you. You may have been self-righteous and tacitly accusing her of poor parenting, but it's your call whether or not she rides in your car, and after asking once and being told 'no', she should have left it.

NatJon · 06/08/2014 19:12

Please will someone explain what being "precious" is? I have been called it so many times in this thread and dont understand why? Because I was concerned about the safety of a child? Confused

OP posts:
FloatIsRechargedNow · 06/08/2014 19:14

Precious = "Because I was concerned about the safety of a child?"

FloatIsRechargedNow · 06/08/2014 19:16

Like you actually think you are the only one? It's mumsnet, 99.769% of posters are so concerned.

NatJon · 06/08/2014 19:20

Sorry float you will have to explain more I am still confused.

OP posts:
ShadowFall · 06/08/2014 19:23

I can see how the law might be unenforceable as regards older children, as it may be unclear whether an older child is over 12 / minimum height at a glance.

However. A typical 2 yr old is quite clearly within the age and height range where car seats are mandatory. Does the police officer really need to measure and get the dob for an infant or toddler before enforcement action is taken? (genuine question btw)

Altinkum · 06/08/2014 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NatJon · 06/08/2014 19:31

And how on earth did I accuse her of bad parenting? Confused when did that even come into the equation? I happen to think she is a fantastic parent.

Are posters always this pleasant on mn?

OP posts:
SquattingNeville · 06/08/2014 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mckayz · 06/08/2014 19:38

Popular "YABU. As many have pointed out, it's absolutely legal to take a child on a short, one-off journey without a carseat. It doesn't need to be an emergency. " this is crap. Please read up on the law before you spout shit.

ShadowFall · 06/08/2014 19:39

AIBU can get quite heated at times.

Other parts of mn tend to be more polite.

SquattingNeville · 06/08/2014 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoyceDivision · 06/08/2014 19:42

Op, YADNBU, I wouldn't take a child in my car without the apprpriate car seat.

My dad was a fireman throught 80's and 90's and he has spent a fair amount of time at RTAs cutting people out of cars and helping collect people (or bits of them) off the ground at scenes of RTAs, often when no seatbelts had been worn.

If your cousin was happy to have no car seat and no seatbelt 9saying she'd hold her dc on her lap) then more fool her.

I hope you don't bother getting in touch with her until she apologises for the way she behaved. She already had a lift, it wasn't urgent, she hadno car seat, she wasn't going to use a seatbelt... hope she realises how rude she was and says so.

well done op for not being pestered into something you weren't comfortable with.

NatJon · 06/08/2014 19:42

shadow yes, I'm beginning to see that. I also see that some posters start making things up and/or twist what somebody has said!

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NatJon · 06/08/2014 19:45

To all the other posters who have responded politely, even if you didn't agree with me but were still polite, thank you :)

OP posts: