To refuse to give my cousin a lift home when she has a broken leg?

[NatJon]

I was in my aunts house today visiting and her daughter, my cousin (27), came down with her 2 yo ds. My cousin has broken her leg so obviously can't drive. Her dp dropped her and their ds down and it was arranged he would pick them up again after he finished a job (self employed electrician).

After 2 hours I was about to leave when my cousin asked me if I would give her and her ds a lift home as her ds was getting bored and tired and she thought her dp would have been back by now. I said no problem as long as there was a spare car seat. My aunt has lots of grandchildren and usually there is is a spare one lying around.

The spare one was being used by another family member but cousin still insisted on a lift home. She lives 5 mins away by car but I was very uncomfortable travelling with her ds without a car seat. I told her this but she just kept saying over and over that it would be ok and she would belt him up, keep a hold of him etc. that he was getting cranky and I was being mean not helping her when she had a broken leg, it's only 5 minutes. I put my foot down and said no, it wasn't happening. Cousin got very angry and started swearing at me saying I was being a fucking prick. My aunt told her to stop talking to me like that but she continued.

She is never like this so it was quite upsetting for me to hear. After about 10 mins, thankfully her dp comes to collect them and the ds can travel safely.

I feel a bit bad I couldn't take them home when her ds was unsettled but thought it more
Important that he be protected in the event of a crash. Cousin obviously thought I was being unreasonable.

"When I was a kid no one had car seats. There weren't even seatbelts in the back. I never heard of anyone killed or injured."

that may be among the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Road fatalities historical statistics. Rear seat belts became compulsory for children in 1989 - see the big drop in fatalities?

That graph would be even more staggering if it showed the corresponding increase in numbers of cars, in inverse proportion to the number of accidents.

YANBU because if you had an accident then wouldn't you be liable as the driver for allowing the child without a car seat. So how can taxis get away with not having car seats.

Thank you everyone for your replies. As I said a few pages ago you can disagree with someone without being nasty to them and there are some posters who have done that.

I am genuinely failing to see why I am being called precious, self righteous and smug. It wasn't as if I was laughing in my cousins face teasing her ffs. If I had have taken them home and ended up in an accident were the child was hurt you would be telling me I was bu taking the child out without a car seat, wouldn't you?

I'm not a confident driver, have only been on the road for 3 months, I don't think it was worth the risk.

She is most likely being tetchy because of her leg.

Hope you can sort things out with her.

Technically legal or not its about leaving someone with a broken leg and a kid without transport

Ha ha
What for ten minutes??
She wasn't stranded - she chose to go to her Aunts house & knew she could get a lift home with her dp

She just chose to throw a strop

Why are people still saying it's not illegal. I even provided links

"It doesn't matter what the likelihood of an accident is. Once the accident has happened it won't be much consolation that you were just very unlucky."

This. You just wouldn't be able to live with yourself would you?

As the driver of the car its your responsibility to ensure that children are in the correct restraints / seats. It would be you who would be prosecuted if stopped, not your cousin.

I wouldn't consider it for an instant. YANBU.

flowery do read the link I posted at 1223, though. As with so many things - "it's more complicated than that".

Oh I'm sure it is, and will have a look later, but the idea that kids bouncing around in the back without seat belts is fine because we all used to do it and the poster in question didn't know anyone personally who had been killed seemed a bit daft to me.

Oh yes, undoubtedly - the plural of "anecdote" not being data!

Queenofthemountain What a load of ignorant claptrap!

I mostly agree with Queenofthemountain. My only concern would have been the law. I disagree that a one-off journey is dangerous. Even if lack of car seat trebled the risk, 3 x negligible = negligible. I think most of the people unwilling to take "any" risk are simply incapable of thinking probabilistically.

I'd have taken them

Ten mins can seem a life time with a toddler playing up.

No need for the swearing though. That was vU

YANBU is also a complete sentence.

fraidy and queen okay so lets suppose we accept the 1:62 million chance of an accident is correct.

I offer you a tablet to give to your kid. It has no benefit (except keeping your child quiet for 10 mins while they chew it) but 1 in 62 million chance of killing them stone dead. Do you take it?

I wonder how many people saying they would do this have lost a child in an rta.

Stand in front of a mother who has, and swear blind that you would take your child out without a car seat.

I'd be shocked if anyone could.

And if you book a private hire car here (as opposed to black cabs) they will bring a child seat.

I don't know where you are, but we just tried to book a taxi to take us from Manchester airport to our home, about an hour away, motorway driving. Though we have found a helpful company, they told us it was "illegal" for them to provide a car seat and "legal" to transport our toddler DS without one.

Now, I've booked a private hire in London with a toddler seat, so unless the other company was breaking the law, it isn't illegal. But it took me ages to find that company (I was going about 5 miles on main roads, so was not going to risk a black cab with buggy, as was suggested to me). So from my experience, very few provide them, and some think they aren't allowed to.