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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to confirm my identity on the telephone until the caller has confirmed theirs?

80 replies

Dolcelatte · 05/08/2014 15:16

I had a call today from an individual who must have asked at least six times whether or not I were Dolcelatte. I kept saying who are you - I won't speak to you unless you identify which organisation you are calling from, as I don't speak to strangers. This conversation went on for several minutes, going round and round in circles, until I said if you don't identify your organisation (ie not asking for personal information), I will hang up, as you are wasting my time.

The caller said they were from a Bank and I said which Bank, as I have a number of accounts. After I hung up, I called back the number (which was not withheld), and it does appear to have been a genuine call from one of my banks.

I understand the need to be confidential and I am assuming that the caller was instructed that they must not say anything until they had confirmed that the person who answered had confirmed that they were the account holder. On the other hand, why should I confirm my identity to a stranger who won't even say which organisation they represent? I am ex-directory, but I still receive cold calls from unknown organisations who want to sell me something and they always start by saying 'Are you Dolcelatte?'......

Rant over, but interested to know if you think AIBU.

OP posts:

CrystalSkulls · 05/08/2014 15:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoinedJustForThis · 05/08/2014 15:23

This bugs me with the bank - they call & ask for the 2nd & 5th letters of my secret word before they'll talk to me.

Last time I told them to bugger off it turned out they were trying to tell me someone had emptied one of my accounts.

In these cases I think there should be a secret word that I can ask them the letters of to prove who they are....

(I know it's not the same as yours OP, but I've wanted to get it off my chest for a while!)

foolishpeach · 05/08/2014 15:26

YANBU. My bank did this to me and I was that they think this is sensible.

singaporefling · 05/08/2014 15:28

YANBU - i usually hang up and ring my bank to see if all is ok...

SecretRed · 05/08/2014 15:29

They need to check that they are talking to the correct person for data protection reasons. They should tell you who they are though.

Pootles2010 · 05/08/2014 15:31

Its a pita for both sides - they have to do it. I used to work for an insurance company and had to.

You're not unreasonable, but you might end up shooting yourself in the foot if they really do have to tell you something!

Yambabe · 05/08/2014 15:32

I always refuse to answer security questions if my bank call me and I always explain why - they have always been fine with this and generally give me a reference to quote or person to ask for when I phone them back.

Cold callers get short shrift from me no matter who they say they are!

whatever5 · 05/08/2014 15:32

It annoys me when banks do this. I always refuse to give them any information in principle. I'm sure that they would be the first to tell you you were at fault if you had gave any confidential information to some random caller.

DealForTheKids · 05/08/2014 15:33

I always ask if I can call them back via their main telephone number when it comes to 'bank' calls. That way it's either genuine or I'm already on the phone to the bank to report it.

I'm a bit more chilled out about identifying who I am, but I get quite a lot of work calls on my phone which probably explains why I don't mind on that front. I certainly wouldn't think you were BU to expect to know which bank it is first, though.

whatever5 · 05/08/2014 15:34

You're not unreasonable, but you might end up shooting yourself in the foot if they really do have to tell you something!

They never have anything important to tell you though. They are just trying to sell something.

JeanSeberg · 05/08/2014 15:36

Of course it's not unreasonable.

All they have to say is "Hello, it's John Smith calling from ABC Bank. I'm calling to talk to you about your bank account. Can I confirm I'm speaking to Dolcelatte? Thank you. Now I just need to take you through security etc etc."

It's hardly rocket science.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/08/2014 15:36

Yanbu they should identify then organisation they are from.

JeanSeberg · 05/08/2014 15:36

You're not unreasonable, but you might end up shooting yourself in the foot if they really do have to tell you something!

In that case, you're perfectly entitled to call them back and they will have the information on your account.

Pootles2010 · 05/08/2014 15:38

But the problem with that is if someone else living in your house doesn't know about that account/phone/policy etc.

LurkingHusband · 05/08/2014 15:38

Just a word of warning ... if you do call them back (and sometimes they will suggest you do) then do it from a DIFFERENT phone (e.g. your mobile). There have been scams where the other party (fraudsters) fool you into thinking you have called the bank by not hanging up, and playing a tape of a dial tone, so they can pretend to be your bank.

I believe they're changing the phone system to prevent this, but until then ....

Soggysandpit · 05/08/2014 15:40

I'm a GP. We call patients, but for confidentiality reasons can't say that it is the Dr calling until I know that I am speaking to the patient (as their relative may not know they had rung the surgery). But in that case you'd be expecting the call I suppose. I do think you're being a teeny bit precious.

Bearbehind · 05/08/2014 15:41

I got a call the other day asking 'if I was the lady of the house'!

They got pretty short shrift as they blatantly had no idea what my name even was

auntjane2 · 05/08/2014 15:42

You are not being unreasonable OP. It is possible you could lose out by not identifying yourself, but as with all these things, it's never cut-and-dried, one just has to use one's judgment and try to err on the side of the caution. You were not being unreasonable.

JeanSeberg · 05/08/2014 15:42

That's entirely different though Soggy. You're protecting patient confidentiality.

There's no reason why the caller in the OP's scenario can't say the name of the organisation they're calling from.

Jackie0 · 05/08/2014 15:43

This goes for calls from private individuals too.
Hello it's Jackie, may I speak to Aristotle ?
I think the reason people are unaware that's the correct form is because on mobiles we have caller ID and we are confident we are straight through to the right person, rather than a house phone.
Does anyone else still answer their mobile " Hello?'
because it seems rude to say " Hey Bobby"?
I really have to stop doing that.

monsterowl · 05/08/2014 15:45

YANBU. In fact I would have hung up long before it sounds like you did.

Pootles2010 · 05/08/2014 15:45

No its the same Jean - what if her husband/kids/ whoever didn't know about the bank account in question?

wyrdyBird · 05/08/2014 15:46

Hang up on any call you're uncomfortable with.

If your bank really wants to contact you, they should identify which bank they're calling from, and be happy with you calling back on the number on your statement.

We never give any information to someone who just rings up, don't care who they are or what they ask. We do ring the bank/whoever on the official number if we suspect a call is genuine. (If you do this, wait for a dial tone or use a different phone!)

So YANBU.

PlacidApricots · 05/08/2014 15:48

I hate this, but when someone phones DP, they will ask him all sorts and he just sits there reaming off info, he'll hang up and I go nuts cause it could be any body, he just gives his info, doesn't even ask who is calling him (or in some cases, to prove it!)

slithytove · 05/08/2014 15:54

I hate it.
If my mobile goes and I don't know the number, I get DH to answer it.

Who always without fail hears "hi is slithytove there" and promptly hands it back to me. He fails to grasp the concept of "who shall I say is speaking".

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