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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to confirm my identity on the telephone until the caller has confirmed theirs?

80 replies

Dolcelatte · 05/08/2014 15:16

I had a call today from an individual who must have asked at least six times whether or not I were Dolcelatte. I kept saying who are you - I won't speak to you unless you identify which organisation you are calling from, as I don't speak to strangers. This conversation went on for several minutes, going round and round in circles, until I said if you don't identify your organisation (ie not asking for personal information), I will hang up, as you are wasting my time.

The caller said they were from a Bank and I said which Bank, as I have a number of accounts. After I hung up, I called back the number (which was not withheld), and it does appear to have been a genuine call from one of my banks.

I understand the need to be confidential and I am assuming that the caller was instructed that they must not say anything until they had confirmed that the person who answered had confirmed that they were the account holder. On the other hand, why should I confirm my identity to a stranger who won't even say which organisation they represent? I am ex-directory, but I still receive cold calls from unknown organisations who want to sell me something and they always start by saying 'Are you Dolcelatte?'......

Rant over, but interested to know if you think AIBU.

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 05/08/2014 15:57

I always ask if I can call them back via their main telephone number when it comes to 'bank' calls. That way it's either genuine or I'm already on the phone to the bank to report it.

Be careful even with this. My friend had someone ring her and they told her to check the number displayed against the genuine number on the back of her bank card. They matched! It wasn't the bank but some scammers who cleared all her accounts! I have no clue how they made the banks number appear, but they did!

deakymom · 05/08/2014 16:00

ive had this its mental she asked me which branch i usually banked in i replied the one in my home town! she told me that was not good enough for id purposes so i rattled off my sort code instead and asked her if that was good enough she said she needed my account number i walked into the branch at that point and told her off! according to their own website they NEVER ask you for your account number they are supposed to ask you for a regular payment which goes out of your account and approximately when it goes out!

JeanSeberg · 05/08/2014 16:02

what if her husband/kids/ whoever didn't know about the bank account in question

In that case, don't give out your home number to the bank, stick to mobile...

Original poster

Dolcelatte · 05/08/2014 16:03

Thanks for your replies.

Only the GP seems to think I am being 'precious'. I am sorry, but I don't agree. If I were expecting a call from my GP, I would be waiting for it and would respond differently, because it would probably be obvious it were the GP but, in any event, why wouldn't you say 'It's X Surgery'; it's hardly revealing confidential medical information, is it?

Someone else said it depends upon which 'phone they use and I totally agree with this. If someone calls me on my work number, where I am listed professionally, I confirm who I am immediately. However, I do think it's different if someone calls on a private, ex- directory number and won't say who they are or which organisation they represent.

OP posts:

Happyringo · 05/08/2014 16:09

I can see both sides. I hate it if a caller won't say who they are and it gets my back up. On the other hand, when I was working as a nurse in Sexual Health we had to ring people with sensitive results and we had to withhold number and confirm patient identity before saying where we were calling from...it always felt uncomfortable but was absolutely necessary!

RedToothBrush · 05/08/2014 16:14

I just don't answer calls I don't know the number for. If they have a serious issue, they would leave a message. I always check the number that comes up to see if its a nuisance call or from someone in particular (so unless they withhold the number, you can tell if its the bank).

My bank is set up so they send me a text if there is an issue rather than call. I prefer this, as its easier to verify and then call them to sort out a problem.

With the number of nuisance/fraudulent calls we get, I don't see what else you are supposed to do, as the responsibility lies with the account holder to verify the identity of the caller, not the bank.

Just two days ago, we had a call from a company trying to scam us, saying they had spoken to someone in the household before who had told them to call back. DH took the call, and went to town saying we were on the TPS, ex-directory, they were lying through their teeth, breaking the law etc and hadn't spoken to anyone. He didn't need to ask me whether I had taken a call or not - but of course the tactic would fox some people...

LineRunner · 05/08/2014 16:16

I have never ever had a GP ring me without saying who they were.

Original poster

Dolcelatte · 05/08/2014 16:22

But surely if you were expecting a sensitive call from a Sexual Health Clinic, you wouldn't give them the family landline; you would give them a mobile.

OP posts:

whatever5 · 05/08/2014 16:27

I don't mind banks (or GPs) asking me to confirm me name. I'm not going to tell them my address or any other security questions though. The caller could be a criminal intending to commit fraud with my details for all I know.

Happyringo · 05/08/2014 16:29

dolce yes we used to ask for mobiles but you can't legislate for partners answering the phone for example...

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 05/08/2014 16:36

YANBU - in fact my bank lists anyone who claims to be from "a bank" or "your bank" as a fradulent call.

Also i think the gp thing is nonsense. My GP surgery always start the call with "hello, its ... from x surgery can we speak to ..." - there is no confidential information in this.

The antenatal clinic just say they are .. from x hospital, then once theyve confirmed who you are say they are the antenatal clinic.

I think the only legitimate people to withold their name would be a sexual health clinic where the name itself gives away confidential information (i.e. Youve in all likepyhood had a sti check).

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 05/08/2014 16:42

But with a sexual health clinic youd know youd be expecting a call from them.

wooldonor · 05/08/2014 16:52

If a bank rings wanting to speak to a woman and a man answers the issue of confirming who they're speaking to isn't going to arise anyway so breaching confidentiality between different sex partners isn't going to be a problem.

I don't know the best way round this, I don't think YABU but you could just get stuck going round in circles.

Happyringo · 05/08/2014 16:56

Yes you would be expecting a call, but the person from the clinic doesn't know for sure it's the patient answering the phone, even if it is a mobile, so has to check. If the person refused to confirm we had no option but to end the call without saying who we were...often the patient would then click on who it must've been and would ring themselves for their results!

Laquitar · 05/08/2014 17:01

Oh i hate it !

It is not only banks, utility companies do this, they ask name, postcode etc. It annoys me so much!

Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 05/08/2014 17:05

YANBU

I wish cold callers could be banned by law. Repeat offenders could be made to spend a few days inside a sewage treatment plant to make up for all the crap they come out with.

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 05/08/2014 17:13

Happyringo - i think you misunderstood me. If a sexual health clinic were going to be calling you would know. So youd be expecting a call where someone wont tell you where they are from until you confirm your details. Its different to other things.

Happyringo · 05/08/2014 17:17

Ah ok why sorry!

uses baby brain and toddler fatigue as an excuse for not reading properly ;)

bloodyteenagers · 05/08/2014 17:20

Yanbu.
At the end of the day, banks say to protect yourself. They tell you to not give out information to people over the phone if you are unsure of who they are.
You don't know who this person is who phones you and says hello, are you xx.
The minimum they could do is say hi, my name is xx from xx bank. This alone gives you a bit of info to make a choice whether to stay on the line or hang up..
However, I get their name and the department they are calling from. I refuse to answer the security questions because I do not know for sure this person is who they say they are. It could be a scammer who now has my name, dob, security questions who can use this to wipe me out. The person on the phone huffs and puffs about this, but I remind them that the bank advises against giving this info out, and if a scam I am screwed because I gave this info.
Yes it takes a bit longer to then get my card blocked, but better than thinking everything is ok until a few days later you have no money left.

So if this makes me also precious, what a crazy world we live in then when it's common sense to take care of your finances...

UptoapointLordCopper · 05/08/2014 17:28

YANBU.

Tangentially: I had somebody today phoning:

Person: "Hello."

Me: "Hello?"

Silence.

Person: "Have I got the wrong number?"

Me: "Err. Surely it depends on who you want to speak to? Who are you?"

Person: "Oooo. I think it's the wrong number. " Hangs up.

Zalen · 05/08/2014 17:36

All they have to say is "Hello, it's John Smith calling from ABC Bank. I'm calling to talk to you about your bank account. Can I confirm I'm speaking to Dolcelatte? Thank you. Now I just need to take you through security etc etc."

It's hardly rocket science.

The problem is that if they do this they are confirming that you have an account at whichever bank it is, if they aren't talking to Dolcelatte but to someone else at Dolcelatte's home then they can get in trouble for giving away confidential information. I know that you probably don't mind if the other people in your home know where you bank but there are always going to be those who desperately don't want information getting out and the banks have to cater to them. For example I worked in a mortgage department, we had more than one customer arranging a mortgage with someone not their wife / husband in preparation to leave. Letting the cat out of the bag that someone had opened an account elsewhere would have caused serious problems in their lives.

JeanSeberg · 05/08/2014 17:38

So don't give out your home number then. Didn't even know people did that anymore anyway.

Nomama · 05/08/2014 17:39

I always put the phone down on anyone claiming to be from my bank.

I then use another phone (I too read bout the way they keep your line open), ring the number on my card and start from there. Recently they wanted me to confirm I had my credit card, as I was apparently buying a phone, badly. So when I went to buy a phone a few weeks ago I was a little nervous

They are always happy to wait for a few seconds. No one has said they felt offended yet!

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 05/08/2014 18:26

Zalen by saying you are from x bank doesnt give any confidential information. It does not mean you have an account there (or a loan, or mortgage for that matter).

Banks can and do make marketing calls (i know ive been on the bloomin recieving end, i checked it was legit before then complaining about said bank).

WhyOWhyWouldYou · 05/08/2014 18:29

happy - dont worry i dont think i worded it very well. Ill also blame baby brain (can you still do that when they are 2yrs old?) and pregnancy brain.

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