AIBU not to be grateful for visiting family bringing food?

[upyourninja]

My parents and grandparents have come to visit for two days. I didn't ask them to bring any food unless they needed something particularly special (GP has diabetes, DDad has been low-carbing, other GP very carnivorous).

They have brought with them:

5 chicken breasts
4 steaks
2 quiches
3kg of potato
4 bags of salad
Potato salad
Coleslaw
1kg of cornflakes
Granola
Pastries
6 packets of biscuits
2 jars of coffee
2 cakes
6 buns
2 loaves of bread
Tortilla wraps
fruit (peaches, pears, strawberries, oranges)
2 bags of chocolate
Cheese
2 pots yoghurt
6 pts milk
4 cans of beans
2 packets of stir fry
Loads of other bits and pieces

I had already catered. They are here for 3 evening meals.

AIBU to think that this is not actually helpful but is really quite rude? When they arrived I had to spend an hour rearranging the fridge and cupboard and my kitchen is covered in crap.

I hate food waste and do have some food issues. I have thus far been quiet and cooked their food. But I'm not wrong to be hacked off, right?

Its a bit odd tho' that they normally only take cereal to yours. Why that huge shopping this time? If its not predictable behaviour, it makes second guessing their next visit tricky. YANBU

A mattress?? I swear I thought I was to stressed to laugh at anything tonight. Turns out I was wrong!!

The people who think this is kind and helpful obviously have no experience of this crazy, PA behaviour

I feel your pain OP. I wouldn't let them through the door.

This would piss me off. PIL did this once: they brought their own meat, veg, potatoes, bread, cakes, sweets, squash, alcohol, tea, coffee, milk, towels, bedding, pillows and a blooming mattress. For a long weekend at ours. They obviously must think that our food, drink, beds etc are unacceptable...

This is exactly the sort of thing my PIL do!

Is this this shopping they have gone out and bought specially or have they done a minesweep of their fridge and brought you stuff they won't be able to use?

Doesn't quite excuse the multi pack of beans, though!

As pp have said - lovely chocolates / wine /fancy cheese - yes please. A run round the tesco chiller cabinet, odd and no thanks.

Mum and dad always tend to do this. I now wait until they arrive then order my shopping for the next day so I know what I need then collect it.

The list don't add up either.

4 steaks with 6 adults, same with the chicken breast.

My parents do this; so I completely understand your reaction. YANBU but should probably just keep quiet and be thankful they aren't doing the opposite and eating everything.

I've had a right chuckle reading this thread. My ex-PILs used to do this but it sounds in the OPs case that they're possibly planning for the apocalypse in case it happens while they're with you!
My ex-PILs would just bring random objects from their home, the fridge and on more than one occasion, kitchen equipment in case we needed spare. The first time they did this we'd just got married and therefore had all the kitchen equipment under the sun. We ended up with three griddle pans and four pizza cutters. Bonkers
YANBU

Then give some of the none perishables to a food bank or all of it to a homeless refuge.

Or throw a party bbq & use up the extras!

YABU & that's exactly what my mum would do!

I would be very grateful/happy but then I'm skint and cupboards are bare at moment!

To everyone out there who has shared my - I salute you

I have been keeping them company so only just back to the thread. Sorry if I have missed anything, but to answer some questions - it is well-intentioned but also spectacularly thoughtless. by the look of the packaging, DM has been to several different supermarkets, butchers, and farm shops. Definitely shopped for the purpose of bringing it here.

She has a chronic illness which makes her panic about stuff and also makes her feel like she's not useful. Unfortunately she takes any criticism or perceived slight straight to heart so I chose to post my irritation here instead of have it out with her. So basically it's not kind to upset DM over something this petty and I will just suck it up (though if I did say something I suspect she would never bring so much as a polo mint into the house again!)

The meal planning math is a bit complicated - DH was here at the weekend but is away now and we have a young child. I don't eat meat. So they are more or less there with that.

I am now just wondering if the mad food buying is because my parents can't visit all that often but PILs have been feeding us twice a week because I work and DH is away. So a guilt/envy thing. Maybe.

The food was definitely intended to cover their stay rather than stock my cupboards, but my parents appear to have no ability to meal plan and no sense of appropriate portions or servings. I don't handle this very well.

To the poster who said this sounds a bit PA of them (Hackmum?) - I definitely feel as if it is a comment on my ability up cook/plan/budget but I suspect they wouldn't say that's why.

If they'd told me in advance: brilliant, thanks.

If they'd brought one meal and the few bits and pieces they like but I don't normally have: grand, thanks.

Turning up with enough food to feed us all several times over, with no warning, and enough sweet crap to stock a supermarket:

Fleurie, ooh, love a griddle pan!

I think they're rude. It's like they don't think they're going to get fed or something

Me too - but even I'd struggle to use three at once!

I'll send you some of the steak and chicken to griddle

Ha, if only I still had three - I made sure the extra griddle pans were in his pile when we got divorced!

Mine used to do that. It was basically the same mindset as they took abroad with them on holiday ("no knowing whether there will be anything familiar/edible there so we better go prepared") So yes, def an implied judgement on my weirdo eating habits (pesto! Salad dressing that didn't come out of a Heinz bottle!)

My MIL does this - brings random food items based on what is on offer at their local supermarket. As others have said, it's the unpredictability that makes it annoying. Once she brought an entire cooked chicken - they were only coming for one main meal and I had planned to cook a nice duck recipe. She was very keen for me to freeze the duck breasts and serve her chicken instead. Irritating!

YANBU

I can see both sides. I do think they were trying to be helpful and you have to appreciate the sentiments.

My mother lives with us and buys soft fruit in overload, especially strawberries , blueberries etc.
Atm I have 6 boxes of fruit in the fridge at varying stages of freshness in th efridge,often she buys them and I don't notice for several days.
We are all sick of strawberries, and the other fruit I buy, melon, mango etc is going off too, we can't consume all the fruit.

When I speak to her she saya we just have to eat more and that it is good for us, but it breaks my heart to throw away unopened boxes of fruit.

Ninja I don't think you're rude at all. In my home country, we would see that as quite insulting. It implies you can't feed your guests properly.

Bringing something luxurious and a treat like a pot of homemade jam or fabulous chocolate, yes.

But that sounds like they are dumping stuff in you that might have gone off at home. Did they buy it specially? How odd.

I would donate it sharpish.