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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to get the rage when i see the SMA advert?

162 replies

bopoityboo3 · 03/08/2014 16:34

I have nothing against formula feeding (formula feed DD but having better luck breast feeding DS).
But the current SMA advert gives me such rage. It is so condescending to mums and the brief time it shows a dad being silly with his child, pulling funny faces at them and just generally being a Dad, there is a mum in the background of the shot giving him an evil glare as if he was the worst Dad in the world. Makes me so mad the stereotyping in it.

OP posts:
combust22 · 05/08/2014 16:38

I am not anti- formula per se, but I do hate the formula industry.

Formula milk can and does save babies' lives.

But the formula industry is the reason why so many women find it difficult to breastfeed.

Original poster
bopoityboo3 · 05/08/2014 16:52

Soo... this went off on a tangent I wasn't expecting Hmm anyway my two pennies worth is that it really doesn't matter how you feed your baby as long as you feed them. There is a world of personal reasons for choosing either breast or formula or a bit of both and you have to do what is right for you.
Thanks for anyone who has had negative comments from unthinking idiots over their feeding choices next time just give them a withering look and a good old 'did you mean to be so rude?'

OP posts:
combust22 · 05/08/2014 17:00

"is that it really doesn't matter how you feed your baby as long as you feed them"

But that's your view and not one that we all share.

To me it's very important what I feed my babies.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 05/08/2014 17:00

And the formula industry is like it is, because as normal the laws it has to stay with in are an appalling fudge.

No formula advertising should be allowed!

Different brands should be allowed to discount in store on the shelf edge and in the appropriate equivalent place on the supermarket web site.

Loyalty points should be offered just like on anything else.

ie formula milk just becomes another ordinary part of people who need it's shopping. Mum's aren't irritated by firstly having to buy the expensive stuff and then having their noses rubbed in it by it not getting points or ever being on offer.

There would be no need for follow on milk and companies could no longer play to British societies deep prejudices that BF is only for tiny babies. This would make many women's interactions with their wider family far easier.

AllHailTheBigPurpleOne · 05/08/2014 17:02

Yabu.
I love the mum putting the baby in the pushchair before sniffing his bum and sighing. I have been there oh so many times.

And i have a messy house. It was a tip when dd was tiny. And i hated those adverts of happy babies, mums with perfect hair and ironed clothes standing in their spotless houses. I had a velcro, colicky baby who wouldn't sleep more than an hour at a time. And in those sleep deprived pnd days even adverts reduced me to tears

Original poster
bopoityboo3 · 05/08/2014 17:10

combust22 yup that's why I said it was my two pennies worth.

OP posts:
Pyjamaramadrama · 05/08/2014 17:17

Putting aside the bf/ff thing. I actually quite like the advert. I can relate to it and it makes me smile.

However imo there is a huge amount of ignorance around breast feeding and I can understand why people would in part blame formula companies for this.

Personally I blame the likes of page 3 and the fact that in the UK women's boobs are for sex first and their intended purpose (feeding) second.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 05/08/2014 17:18

In the end most o f us don't have a huge choice how we feed are babies. DD1 was hopeless at BFing and fetched up mostly FF.

DD2 wouldn't take a bottle, quite literally to save her life, she fetched up living on yoghurt from 5 months.

As I say I hate these ads because they make mothers feel guilty, however they fed/are feeding their babies and they are a part of the drip drip drip brain washing that BFing is a necessary evil the MWs and HVs push you into due to sciency stuff you don't really understand, but we know you want your *body back, we know you want Dad to do the night feeds, you know MIL wants a go.

Here is a lovely happy mummy showing you it's OK to feel like that.

  • never understood this one. Confused
Pyjamaramadrama · 05/08/2014 17:20

I failed at bf and it wasn't SMAs fault, it was lack of support from friends, family, dick of an ex, lack of support from healthcare professionals.

Mybigfatredwedding · 05/08/2014 17:20

I was disappointed at first, I got over it, now I just want people to stop telling me that I'm feeding my baby poison, or won't bond as well with my baby because she couldn't latch.

Who is telling you that? Online? You need to stay away from certain websites! And anyone who would say that to your face is a rude arsehole who is not worth bothering with anyway.

I have a pretty good idea of a couple of people who are probably secretly a bit judgy about my decision to formula feed both my kids from a fairly early age, but no one has ever said anything to me in real life. In fact the overwhelming feeling I got was that no one actually really gives a shit!

Mybigfatredwedding · 05/08/2014 17:29

they are a part of the drip drip drip brain washing that BFing is a necessary evil the MWs and HVs push you into due to sciency stuff you don't really understand

That's it isn't it - breastfeeding is promoted as a 'necessary evil' but you have to do it because its 'best'. Whereas it should just be out across as 'the norm'.

Having said that, I totally get the whole 'wanting your body back' thing. Both times when I stopped breastfeeding (and we are talking weeks after birth here, not months or years) one of my overwhelming feelings was one of relief that I could put my boobs away forever without someone sucking on them and also not have to worry about what I was wearing etc.

I know that contradicts what I have been saying about breastfeeding being seen as 'normal' and makes me seem quite shallow and selfish, but it really was one of my main feelings. I had a bloody miserable time trying to feed ds and it totally coloured and scarred my experience with dd.

Original poster
bopoityboo3 · 05/08/2014 17:35

mybigfatredwedding I totally agree about the wanting my body back thing. I love snuggling with my boy and feeding him whilst at the same time I wish I could look in my wardrobe and wear whatever I want without worrying about if my boobs are accessible. Especially in the bloody hot weather we've been having lately.

OP posts:
MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 05/08/2014 20:32

combust caring what you feed your baby is fine. As long as you don't get involved in what others fed their babies.

combust22 · 05/08/2014 20:47

"As long as you don't get involved in what others fed their babies."

Don't you care about society? Public health?

Some many women choose to breastfeed but find it very difficult. I will get involved with that if asked.

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 05/08/2014 20:56

BFing is a public health issue so I agree with combust and think it is everyone's business to be supportive and encouraging of BFers

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 05/08/2014 21:36

I meant getting involved when people's feeding method is established. Helping struggling BFers is important, as is sticking up for the right of everyone to feed their babies, anywhere they choose to.

But commenting on how breast is best is just as unhelpful to a formula-feeding mum, as asking 'when are you switching to formula?' is to a breastfeeding mum. That's the point I was trying to make by saying not getting involved - obviously encouraging people who want to breastfeed to do so is important. As is respecting someone's decision if they say from the start that they don't want to.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 05/08/2014 21:37

It's more important to me that I feed my baby, not what I feed her.

combust22 · 05/08/2014 21:43

My MIL is a great advocate of feeing newborns Evaporated milk moomin, and has offered it several times.

Surely you must care what you are feeding your baby?

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 05/08/2014 21:58

Well if someone tried to feed my baby evaporated milk they'd never be left in charge of my baby again, so that wouldn't be an issue Grin

But when it comes to breastmilk vs formula... no I really couldn't care less, as long as she's getting something.

combust22 · 05/08/2014 22:07

I'm confused. Surely you must care what your baby is eating?

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 05/08/2014 22:10

As I said - in the context of formula or breastmilk, no, I don't. Either is fine.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 05/08/2014 23:00

I suppose in tops and trousers so much of the time, that was an issue for one christening and nothing else.

And if you BF long enough you get used to dirty looks when you put on a dress. (There comes a time when night and morning is quite sufficient).

IsChippyMintonExDirectory · 05/08/2014 23:02

As I said - in the context of formula or breastmilk, no, I don't. Either is fine.

I feel a bit sad when I read things like that as it shows that formula companies are winning with their tactics if people equate BM to formula in terms of importance.

Echocave · 05/08/2014 23:03

On a completely trivial note (apologies) as someone who broke the fold down thingy on my mclaren buggy the other day by stamping on it too hard (stressed? Moi?) I do smile at that bit of the SMA advert.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 05/08/2014 23:11

Chippy before DD was born, I'd have said of course it matters that my baby has breastmilk, that's the single most important thing about being a parent is breastfeeding my baby.

She was born, couldn't latch, had all the help but it just wasn't happening - switched to formula, she's feeding, she's doing well with her weight, she's happy, she's healthy, our bond is wonderful - I don't think things could've gone much better even if I had breastfed.

The formula companies didn't teach me to equate bf with formula. I'm never going to claim that formula is as good as breastmilk because it just isn't. It's just that, to me, it doesn't matter anymore. She's being fed, and even if the milk is doing nothing good, something else I'm doing must be working Grin

If not being fed breast milk will leave her at a disadvantage in some way, then I'll just work extra hard to make sure any disadvantage is made up for :)