AIBU to get the rage when i see the SMA advert?

[bopoityboo3]

I have nothing against formula feeding (formula feed DD but having better luck breast feeding DS).
But the current SMA advert gives me such rage. It is so condescending to mums and the brief time it shows a dad being silly with his child, pulling funny faces at them and just generally being a Dad, there is a mum in the background of the shot giving him an evil glare as if he was the worst Dad in the world. Makes me so mad the stereotyping in it.

A mothers place is in the wrong

I never had any negative comments when FFing, not even from the HV and certainly not from random strangers. However with BFing I've had a woman stare at me and then loudly say "YUCK!", I've had people filthy look me, I've had a woman sitting next to me on a bench either unaware or unconcerned that I was BFing then her friend came, looked, and said "come on, you don't want to be sitting next to that..." and they both walked away sniggering. DHs step dad won't come in the house if I'm feeding DS and if DS gets hungry while he's there then he leaves.

Sorry to hear you've been treated that way for bf but trust me it can and doors happen to ff mums too, people during nearby and saying loudly 'I'm so glad I breastfed, I'd hate to not have that bond with my baby, at least I knew I was doing the best for my baby'. I'm doing the best for my baby, and I don't think my bind with DD is any worse than that of a bf mum.

moomin- so you are blaming the "Lactavists" and the formula companies like "Aptimail" for making you feel bad.

So basically everyone except you.

combust I'm saying that the adverts can make all mums feel bad, whatever their feeding method. and yes, some very vocal lactivists who shame noon-breastfeeding women and describe formula as poison, make me feel bad. Why is that surprising to you? and why would I blame myself for making me feel bad?

broken- obviously not. Some women don't give their babies formula at all. I think the ad means if you decide to move from breastfeeding to formula.

It drives me mad when it says "mums take it from us, you're doing great" a blanket "oh you've given bbirth that means you're wonderful" my lo's birth mum wasn't doing great. She was doing terrible harmful things that nmeant he had to be removed from her. (I know I sound bitter......don't even start me on the tena lady one! )

But if you want to move on... The use of 'move on' really riles me - is as if they're saying 'because breastfeeding is so fucking primitive'.

'because breastfeeding is so fucking primitive'.

Yes it is. And one of the reasons I love it.

I couldn't breastfeed, and it took a long, long time to come to terms with that. I don't recall being judged by anyone but me either when I was trying to get breastfeeding to work, or when I was bottle feeding. I have absolutely no doubt that it happens in both directions. I was by far my worst critic though. I have no idea why I feel the need to give my baby-feeding credentials before posting an opinion here, but anyhow.

To me, the point of the advertisement wasn't 'breastfeeding vs. formula feeding', but was 'Use SMA/Aptimil/Cow and Gate, it's better than Cow and Gate/SMA/Aptimil'. I can see why they have to tread very carefully around breastfeeding, but part of me thinks that they're going for the captive audience of people who through choice or necessity have already chosen formula, and then trying to make them feel most comfortable about their decision.

Anyhow, to be honest I find I feel equally nauseated by most baby-related adverts. The Johnson's one 'when a baby is born, purity is born' makes me want to boak. It makes no sense. If the baby was that sodding pure, there would be no need for cleaning products at all. They're not pure though; they're pukey and pooey.

Maybe it should go 'when a baby is born, you'll suddenly realise that you're going to be elbow deep in poop and sick several times a week. Tempting as it might be, don't use Domestos - Johnson's is a much better option for your baby's skin.'

Mybigfartedwedding Breast being accepted as normal and all new mum's simply being expected to BF their babies for as long as they want should be the norm.

Not breast is best, not try to EBF for a magic 6 months, simply breast feeding is normal!

I like the SMA one because I like the theme tune

And I recognise the shock of sinking into the bath and sitting on a child's toys. Pointy little buggers.

Can't say any of the ads hurt my feelings or touch me on a sensitive spot.

Actually the silliest thing about the SMA advert is the woman rummaging in a cupboard to find a bottle in the middle of the night. Surely anyone who knows they are going to be getting up in the night to feed a baby would leave the bottle somewhere easy to grab and not in the back of a cupboard?!

"it's some 'lactivists' who take these possibles and translate them into definites to use add part of their agenda"

I'm a lactivist and know man other people who share my views. Have never met a single person anywhere and heard them express the opinion that bf guarantees a perfect child no matter how inadequate the rest of a persons parenting is.

I honestly don't think people who hold those opinions exist in real life. I suspect there are plenty out there who would like it if they did though - it would give life to the concept of 'breastfeeding nazi's' who currently don't exist except in the imagination of those who feel slighted about not breastfeeding.

" I can see why they have to tread very carefully around breastfeeding, but part of me thinks that they're going for the captive audience of people who through choice or necessity have already chosen formula, and then trying to make them feel most comfortable about their decision."

Actually their biggest potential market will be the 75% of women who have chosen to bf, as if they can be persuaded to use formula often enough and for long enough, their chances of continuing bf will be harmed in the medium and long term.

Most uk bf mums also give formula within a few weeks of birth.

And the main reason women give for stopping breastfeeding early is 'problem making enough milk'. It's pretty obvious to me that the two things are connected.

They definitely exist on the internet, mini. As I said, it isn't everyone who calls themselves lactivists - just a few, but that opinion is definitely there. That's like me saying 'I don't think people who tut at breastfeeders in public' exist - just because you've never experienced or encountered it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's belittling to assume that it doesn't happen.

I don't want people to tell me I'm not doing the best for my baby, nor do I feel slighted about not breastfeeding. I was disappointed at first, I got over it, now I just want people to stop telling me that I'm feeding my baby poison, or won't bond as well with my baby because she couldn't latch.

health professionals telling us the facts is fine. What isn't fine is when mums who have managed to breastfeed hear these facts, and use them in some kind of superiority battle. 'My baby will be smarter than yours, my baby will be healthier than yours'. Even going as far to be so vocal about how they feel formula is poison.

I must live in a different corner of the world to everyone else as I have never encountered this (although I did EBF, never got any negative comments for it) or know anyone who did. A group of us who the HV put in touch with each other meet up once a week since the babies were about 6 weeks old, we all fed in different ways and it was never discussed we got on with it.

Also please do not group 'lactavist' with 'judgemental person'. I'm a 'lactivist' and it's a very political thing, supporting the rights of nursing women and also stamping out shitty shitty support (which sadly I hear SO much of) for women who do try to breastfeed. If you have met a 'judgemental' lactivist they were in the minority. No good lactivist would shame you for not getting the right support or the right comments when trying to BF.

I mixed fed from day one ( the odd bottle at the start and then a bottle a day from ten weeks) Never once did it affect my supply and the only reason I did it was because I was in pain and exhausted. Dh gave it in the early days when I desperately need some sleep. At ten weeks it was because I had horrendous nipple blisters and just needed my nipples to get a rest. I made it to 8 months mixed feeding. That was what worked best for me.
I have never once been influenced by any of the stupid adverts. I know they have to say breast milk is best by law. I never felt any pressure from any health professional or any fellow mums for that matter. I think this whole brestapo thing is mostly in peoples heads.

I agree that breastfeeding should be promoted as normal. Not special, not better, just normal - because it's natural. It's what breasts are there for.

I think this whole brestapo thing is mostly in peoples heads.

YY Bodicea. And I also think people (unnecessairly) judge themselves more than they realise. Us mothers are bloody hard on ourselves aren't we!

That's why I said 'some', Chippy. I know some lactivists who are very pro-breastfeeding, but if they are anti-formula, they keep it quiet. Unfortunately I have encountered people who are vocally anti-formula, who have expressed the opinions above. I've probably just been unlucky, but please don't try and suggest that it's all in my head.

I support breastfeeding. I wish I'd been able to breastfeed, of course I do. But I don't, and no amount of constant reminders is going to change everything, which is why I object to still being told 'breast is best'. Of course it is, we all know it is - but what good is you telling me that going to do?

Moomin I know it's not all in your head if you've heard it out loud, I didn't mean to imply that. Lactivists like me are anti-formula company, never anti-formula mum and whilst I'd happily say how much I loathe underhand formula company tactics I'd never say someone was a crappy person for choosing formula. Sadly some people would and you can never eradicate that special kind of twat can you?

They are all bollocks the adds but I don't think they are competing with breast milk just other formula adds. I don't think anyone is stupid enough to think Oh I must move them on to formula now they are older.
Also most people stop around the 6 month mark because they want to get a bit of independance back. i.e wear normal clothes, go out for the day without baby, maybe leave them overnight. Plus they get more diffcult, wriggly to feed in public. Some obviously going back to work and don't want the faff of expressing etc. Oh and they are fed up of feeling like a milking machine with massive boobs full of milk. I know I was. I think 6 months on breast milk is a pretty good start and so not gonna be made to feel guilty about that.

Oh and moomin sorry didnt mean to offend. Their obviously are some breastapo (largely online) but in general in real life I don't know anyone who has experenced it.
Perhaps I wordered it wrong - I think us mums put more pressure on ourselves than anyone else - i remeber obsessivly looking for articles against mixed feeding when I started it and hatring myself - so largely in my head - but over that now.

Sorry for reacting so harshly most of the time I'm happy with my feeding decision - bf wasn't working, DD is thriving on formula and so she's been fed and of course I'm happy... and then sometimes I feel like I'm failing her totally. I need to start avoiding ff/bf discussions on MN