AIBU to get the rage when i see the SMA advert?

[bopoityboo3]

I have nothing against formula feeding (formula feed DD but having better luck breast feeding DS).
But the current SMA advert gives me such rage. It is so condescending to mums and the brief time it shows a dad being silly with his child, pulling funny faces at them and just generally being a Dad, there is a mum in the background of the shot giving him an evil glare as if he was the worst Dad in the world. Makes me so mad the stereotyping in it.

Yes toomuch
Lots.

I've got mixed views, tbh.
On the one hand, it's an advert - it's not meant to present a realistic portrayal of life - unless it's just me who couldn't think of anything worse than skydiving while on her period?
But on the other hand, as someone who could not BF DD and is struggling to BF DS, who is only 5 weeks, I kind of get it, because there is a school of thought that ff babies are essentially going to grow up thick or that their mums are lazy.
When you nearly die because of a complication in childbirth, as in my case, or if you have a SN needs child who can only be formula fed, or whatever your reason, it can actually be reassuring for someone to say "D'ya know what, sometimes formula is the answer, you are not as shit as some people will make you feel, you ARE doing great." Even if that person is a patronising VO on a meaningless advert.
What does give me the rage is the fact it's actually ILLEGAL to advertise first stage formula in the UK, and it's also illegal to give loyalty points on it - which is akin to making mums feel that what they are doing is essentially on a par with giving their kid crack cocaine.
I also hate the fact it's referred to on postnatal notes as "artificial/substitute formula" - it's a perfectly viable alternative to breastmilk - it's hardly vodka and coke.
The phrase "breast is best" should be banned, IMO - carrots are better than chips but no-one advertises that fact, so why make mums feel guilty by suggesting they are giving their baby second best?
Not feeding a baby at all is worse.
Ooh, sorry - nerve well and truly touched......

Well said lbs, I've been thinking much the same about this today but didn't quite know how to voice it without coming across as saying 'stop with the breast is best crap'. COmpletely agree with what you've said.

I hate the "You're doing great" ad. Baby P's mother, Daniel Pelka's mother, all these other awful parents - they were not doing that great, were they?! Stupid patronising crap.

Wish formula advertising was banned, they're there to make money and do a very good job of parting the tides between BFers and FFers. Their adverts have underlying tones of "the world judges you for ff but it's just as good you know as BM" - the judging part btw I believe is bollocks, I've never seen anyone ever IRL judge someone by the way they feed, but because it's an insecurity instilled in mothers they cruelly play on it.

look at the giggling baby one, it's pretty much one big sly dig at BFing and implying formula is the same as breastmilk - "do I look like I need more vitamins in my diet" . No you don't creepy baby, it's not like FF babies turn green and have their brains fall out their eyes sockets is it. FF will be as fine as BF babies (providing milk is made correctly and all that jazz), and these adverts play on a fear women seem to have that they won't be just as fine.

And YY to the Aptamil one - when she's BFing it's grim, dull and she looks old. As soon as she switches to formula everything is bright and happy. Fuck. Off.

Phew that felt good!

Go Chippy Go!

ibs - there is no 'school of thought that ff children will* grow up fat, stupid etc. There ARE are a few ignorant people who translate the findings of research into absolutes in their mind. There are also people who see breastfeeding as disgusting. I don't give this tiny minority head space and neither should you.

"FF will be as fine as BF babies"

Actually the main reason that strap line is insidious isn't because a baby will never be disadvantaged by ff (research tells us that some are), but because you're almost never going to be able to identify this from looking at a child.

They should put all that advertising money into lowering the cost and improving practices in the 3rd world.

riceball- what by enouraging breastfeeding? That won't make them hard cash.

They can make cash without the 70% markup and annoying adverts.

I have no doubt that tthese companies know what they are doing to maximise profits.

minifingers Sorry, but there is. With my DD, I was told by both an NCT adviser and a health visitor, separately that BF babies were proven to be more intelligent and it was worth the "sacrifice" from me. I swear to God.
Whether that was right or wrong, it's enough evidence for me that that feeling exists.
So while this might not be a commonly held view, please don't tell me it's not out there.
Believe me, it is.
My last delivery ended up with organ failure (OBVIOUSLY there was a whole scenario leading to that, which is irrelevant right now), and I was unable to feed my dd for several days so the absolute last thing I needed was to then be told "breast is best".
That and the whole "well, in China, someone poisoned some babies with formula - that might happen here" comment almost broke me.

That's horrible ibs no one needs to hear insensitive comment alike that about their feeding choices.

FWIW I have a DC who was 100% FFS, a DC who was mixed fed, and a DC who has been EBF - it's like doing my own little social experiment. So far there is no discernible difference between the three (other than age) and EBF baby is exactly the same as my other two were at this age. There are so many other factors at play in health, intelligence, weight etc and FF/BF is just a very small part of it. I think when DC are small that BF and FF seem like a big deal because it's one of the main choice, same as type of nappies, weaning, sleeping, etc. They all seem like a big deal because they're time relevant and a big part of baby-centric life. When DCs get older, other issues take precedence and you realise that, actually, how a baby was fed has very little bearing on the resulting child.

ibs - if they said this to you, apropos of nothing, in response for your request for help PLEASE COMPLAIN.

If you go looking for support with breastfeeding you shouldn't be subject to persuasion - if you already wanted to breastfeed but were struggling.

I agree with you by the way that there are people who believe that breastfeeding is linked to better cognitive and developmental outcomes in babies - I am one of them. I wouldn't air that opinion in the context of any sort of conversation with a woman struggling with breastfeeding, particularly if my job was actually to be providing her with support at that moment - emotional and/or physical.

"you realise that, actually, how a baby was fed has very little bearing on the resulting child."

Respectfully though bear it's very difficult to know how our lifestyle choices impact on our children's health and development - across a whole range of issues. I would never say to someone that it doesn't matter how a baby is fed, because I don't have a crystal ball and I don't know what it might mean to that particular mother or that particular baby. Hell, I don't know what it means to my own children. But not knowing and not being able to see the difference something makes isn't the same as something definitely not making a difference. We accept this in relation to a whole host of things - smoking and diet in pregnancy for starters. The vast majority of babies born to smokers are normal birth weight and don't die from SIDS. And those who are low birth weight or who sadly succumb to SIDS - well nobody will ever know whether smoking played a part.

That's why I think we need to be careful, when we are reassuring people that feeding choices are completely down to them and that it's ok whatever they decide, we don't give false reassurances that whatever they decide to do, it will make no difference to their child or to them. We can't say that. We don't know.

mini- I completely agree. We don't know the outcomes by looking at a particular child, but if we look at very large numbers then there is a benefit- leading well into adult life of having been brestfed as a baby.

The risks of certain diseases are higher amongst formula fed babies when they are both babies and adults.

mini It was 5 years ago, and on top of everything else, complaint was low on my list.
FWIW, DD is now a remarkably intelligent, kind and funny kid with the reading age of a 7-8 year old, and whose head teacher has singled out as "one of the school's biggest assets, despite only just finishing Reception" (sorry to brag, but proud mum alert).
So either it hasn't affected her in the slightest, or, had she been ebf, she'd have been running the country by now;).
As I said, I'm trying with DS, mix feeding, but whatever happens, she's proof that as a parent, I'm doing OK.

You will never find anywhere that says bf = intelligent, healthy child and formula = unintelligent, unhealthy child. Because it's simply not a given, there are so many factors that contribute to these. My DD is still bf at 14 months and has terrible eczema. That's because her dad has it, it runs badly in his family. However it may be that if I hadn't BF it would be worse than it is now. We will never know but I think it's also important not to discount the importance and benefits of BM just because most kids, however they are fed, turn out fine and pretty much the same as the next kid.

health professionals telling us the facts is fine. What isn't fine is when mums who have managed to breastfeed hear these facts, and use them in some kind of superiority battle. 'My baby will be smarter than yours, my baby will be healthier than yours'. Even going as far to be so vocal about how they feel formula is poison.

If you're a breast feeder but a crap mum with no knowledge about hygiene and never bother with your child, they aren't going to have better outcomes than a formula fed baby who is read to and played with and spoken to, in a clean environment. Even in situations where all other variables are the same, a ff baby has every chance of being just as, if not more, intelligent than a bf baby.

The problem isn't the facts, which we can't argue with - that there is a link to cognitive development, that bf babies may be healthier - it's some 'lactivists' who take these possibles and translate them into definites to use add part of their agenda. Adverts like the Aptimil one don't just shame ff mums, they make breastfeeding look dull. The entire point is to deepen this rift and create stronger feelings of animosity. The only thing I can't figure out is why that is profitable to them.

I hate the one where they have the most photoshopped baby ever to the point where lights appear to be shining out of its eyes!

It is funny that if you don't bf you are/can be made to feel you're not doing the right thing for your dc, and yet if you do bf you receive zero positive comment on it, certainly if you go on past a few months. That has been my experience anyway. When I mentioned my toddler son was still bf to his doctor, I was asked if he also had food - well obviously I'm some kind of hyper-pro-bf idiot who doesn't give solids to her 18 month old.
I think we have to acknowledge that all mothers are made to feel shit about something.

I agree that the idea pushed by these companies (and actually society in general actually) is that breastfeeding is the 'ideal' and has to be this perfect thing that is 'best' for babies. Obviously that sort of image, coupled with the fact that in reality breastfeeding can be quite hard, means that in real life if breastfeeding doesn't go perfectly then you have further to fall and are more like to crack open the formula tin in a fit of tears (not speaking from personal experience there, oh no.......!)

The message shouldn't really be 'breast is best' but 'breast is normal'. That is of course not to say that women who literally cannot breastfeed arent 'normal', but I think to bring breastfeeding back down to what it actual is (ie. the way women were designed to feed their child) rather than holding it up as this perfect ideal would help.

Most women who breastfeed (at least at the beginning anyway) aren't sitting there all serene in a crisp white shirt staring lovingly at their baby while a cool breeze flows in through the net curtains. In my experience it was being surrounded by cushions as DH held my boob in just the right place to try and get latched on - and that's ok. But at the time I just felt like I wasn't doing it right and I really think that contributed to me lining Aptamil's pockets far far earlier than I ever imagined.

Ah, I don't know, i dont even know if i am making sense and maybe I am just projecting my own experiences here, but I do think the 'breast is best' message actually inhibits things.

I also think the message is that breastfeeding is something to be 'endured' because it is 'best'. The whole 'when its time to move on' thing annoys me!