To think it might be true that most people dislike weddings?

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Or have become a grumpy old woman?

(I know the truth btw, I'm not offended)

I think its a fairly recent thing and probably related to the "modern" high expectations from B&G about their day, spiralling costs which the B&G usually pay for themselves, and large guest lists/ geographical spread of families and friends which make overnight stays a neccessity.

I don't think there was so much angst about wedding in the past (apart from the ever present family politics issues iyswim).

Have we lost all sense of reason with our weddings? So many threads raise issues about children at weddings (almost always a cost factor to not invite them and often a problem for guests), overseas weddings dictating the family holiday for that year, expensive overnight stays in remote hotels (oops ), requests for money.......

I honestly think that it didn't used to be that bad. And more people were content with a modest celebration with family and friends, that suited their budget, rather than giant disney princess, magazine cover, tattler style events that we all seem to need. And the cost affects the couple and all their guests with much grumbling for some time.

Am i unreasonable to suggest this?
Am i alone?

I hate weddings.

So much potential to be a great day, but every wedding I've ever been to has involved hours of hanging around, never knowing when or what you're going to eat, being forced to pose for photos outside when it's freezing, and a what I really hate the most is the predictable, false conversations that will be had.

All these people that are freezing, starving, bored...etc coming out with "oh what a lovely day!", "oh doesn't she look beautiful", "oh what a fabulous service"...blah blah blah. It's all said with so much falseness, I find it hard not to laugh.

As if every single person there really loves every single thing about the wedding that the bride / groom have chosen!

It is "allowed" for you to dislike something without then deciding that MOST PEOPLE also dislike it, and that people who claim to like it are lying.

You might just have an uncommon opinion. But that's OK.

I think there is a rise in guestzillas too; people who think that if the B&G invite their niece aged 7 who is their bridesmaid, then a 2 year old who the B&G have never met should be invited too. And people who think they are entitled to be invited with a plus one even if they're not in a relationship.

"I love weddings and do not encounter the hysteria in real life that appears on here."

I agree. The dislike of weddings seems to be a MN thing.

1. I have never been invited to a wedding abroad
2. No-one I know has acted in a bridezilla way
3. The only hen dos I have been to have been a meal in a local restaurant
4. I haven't been to many weddings and don't have any expectations of being invited to any in the near future - all my friends and family of marriageable age are already married.
5. I don't have any unreasonable family members or unreasonable friends.

i hate the whole bridezilla thing ever since that show and big fat gypsy weddings everyone is all about bling and things looking perfect no kids no bread rolls in case there was a butter incident (former friend emphasis on the former) ive a friend now (not a close one) rings me all the time to tell me about her wedding her bra shopping her this her that im not even invited to the wedding wtf do i need an update for?

weddings should be service friends family pictures and cake throw in a few flowers and a ring or two and we are done!

i did mine cheap i dont regret not going into debt for it yes he is the only man i intend to marry but why start a marriage in debt and stressed out!

"but why start a marriage in debt and stressed out!"

Exactly deakymum. So many couples lose sight of the fact that a wedding is one day (usually), but a marriage is, hopefully, for the rest of your life.

I like weddings when I'm close to the bride or groom and genuinely happy to see them celebrate their union.

I don't really enjoy obligation weddings for family members we never see and don't really know and do begrudge the expense a little...although the bride and groom probably begrudge having to invite us as they're worried it will cause offence if not.

It's the people who make a wedding for me; decent music, decent company and a cash bar that doesn't cost the earth and I'm happy.

I don't think people in RL get their knickers in a twist about it as much as they do in MN. Cash gifts seem to be the norm and generally accepted, if people have weddings or hen dos abroad they don't expect everyone to be able to make it, and parents seem to be quite happy to have an evening out without DCs.

I like your list Bunbaker but I think you are a bit lucky there!

1. I have never been invited to a wedding abroad I have, went to one in America and was asked to help provide music for the ceremony
2. No-one I know has acted in a bridezilla way I have been to one wedding where the bride was a bridezilla - it was a very expensive, very large do, paid for by Daddy, and the marriage only lasted 2 years
3. The only hen dos I have been to have been a meal in a local restaurant Oh I wish that was the case! I've been to one week-long abroad one, although it was quite good fun, just expensive!, several weekend ones and lots of nightclub style ones
4. I haven't been to many weddings and don't have any expectations of being invited to any in the near future - all my friends and family of marriageable age are already married. I've been to a fair few but not in any expectation of any more for a while now, probably not until the next generation are ready to start getting married!
5. I don't have any unreasonable family members or unreasonable friends. Oh I do! Had to exclude a few from my own wedding list, despite protestations from my Mum - but that's the main reason we paid for the whole thing (no debt) so that she didn't have any say in the guest list as I knew she'd be on my case about these particular relatives! SOOO glad we didn't invite them, given what's happened since

I like weddings. Weddings where people spend only what they can afford and make it a lovely unique wedding they like without following silly rules (who made them up??) about what they should do and spending a ton to look good in everyone else's eyes.
Weddings where you invite people you know no love, not random relatives you haven't seen for twenty odd years and can't remember.

I have been to lots like this :)

Oh, i don't think people are lying if they say they like weddings.
I just think, from what i read here and what i hear people say in rl that lots of ppl don't really like weddings.
And i have definitely come across rl issues that people complain about.

*people you know and love....

I like weddings and love receiving invites.

However I dislike bridezilla behaviour and unnecessary pomp.

I think the best weddings are the smallish ones in simple venues, with nice food and wine. That is what we tried to achieve with ours. Children were welcome too :)

Thumbwitch I have a small family. I don't have hundreds of friends either and no-one has loads of money. I am 55 and when I got married and others in my age group did we didn't "do" hen weekends/trips abroad etc. Remember, this was the era before cheap flights. A hen do was always a hen night.

I didn't even have a hen night, it just didn't occur to me, and OH's stag do was a night boozing at the local pub.

Some threads on here make me feel sad to be older, and some, like the wedding threads, make me glad.

Hooby no I'm not in the Hebrides I'm in Ireland. DH and I come from very conservative Catholic families. We both left the church a long time ago and are regarded by some with suspicion on this account. People like knowing what you believe in/stand for/vote for otherwise the can't get the measure of you. It caused huge issues when we married in a civil ceremony though the relatives came to it one elderly aunt wrote my mother a toxic letter and finished it with "tell Microcosmia I still pray for her".
When DH's dad died his outwardly more open family pulled rank and the priest and family put him under pressure,about communion, readings and so on. DH didn't want to read or receive as he has completed a formal act of defection, which is a serious step to take.It's self excommunication, not allowed now though. He isn't eligible to read prayers etc or receive communion. But no they dug in and so did he. At the funeral the priest in the homily slammed people who turn their backs on the church and aren't worthy...lovely sentiments at your dads funeral, not.
With my family I wouldn't refuse an invite ad it would send a signal I don't want to send. Their reasons are partly religious, partly social, partly cultural and we live in the same community so I won't rock the boat. Mostly I do my thing and I'm left alone but family religious based ceremonies are integral to life here still and I just have to suck it up or risk being isolated.

Apologies for spelling typing and watching TV not a great idea!

I'm not much younger than you Bun but most of my friends got married in their 30s, so maybe that made a difference? :)

Hooby no I'm not in the Hebrides I'm in Ireland. DH and I come from very conservative Catholic families. We both left the church a long time ago and are regarded by some with suspicion on this account. People like knowing what you believe in/stand for/vote for otherwise the can't get the measure of you. It caused huge issues when we married in a civil ceremony though the relatives came to it one elderly aunt wrote my mother a toxic letter and finished it with "tell Microcosmia I still pray for her".
When DH's dad died his outwardly more open family pulled rank and the priest and family put him under pressure,about communion, readings and so on. DH didn't want to read or receive as he has completed a formal act of defection, which is a serious step to take.It's self excommunication, not allowed now though. He isn't eligible to read prayers etc or receive communion. But no they dug in and so did he. At the funeral the priest in the homily slammed people who turn their backs on the church and aren't worthy...lovely sentiments at your dads funeral, not.
With my family I wouldn't refuse an invite ad it would send a signal I don't want to send. Their reasons are partly religious, partly social, partly cultural and we live in the same community so I won't rock the boat. Mostly I do my thing and I'm left alone but family religious based ceremonies are integral to life here still and I just have to suck it up or risk being isolated.

Possibly Thumb. I got married at 22 and most of my friends from my schooldays got married at similar ages. Most of the friends I have now were already married when I met them, but I can't imagine any of them being a bridezilla.

I understand now, microcosmia, thank you. I can see the difficulty, much different to my own far less religious and close family. :)

Sorry for the delay in the reply, btw, I had an unexpected visitor. :)

No bother hooby :)

I have no objection to cash gifts actually.
I suppose i used that as an example of one of things other people seem commonly unhappy about.