To think if you pay for a surrogate baby that you decide you don't want you should pay for the op he needs.

[sashh]

An Australian couple have paid a Thai woman to be a surrogate, she had twins but one has Down Syndrome so they left him behind and took his sister home.

He has a hole in the heart (news reporting that it is in addition to DS, actually it is more likely part of the DS) and his mum can't afford his op.

Surely the least you can do is pay for his bloomin' op?

Obviously there should have been an agreement with who pays for what under what circumstances but in reality is a poor person in a developing country going to think about that?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-28617912

www.abc.net.au/news/2014-08-01/mother-of-thai-baby-abandoned-by-surrogate-parents-struggles-to/5642478

[purplepickles]

Just because you write in CAPITALS does not mean you know what you're talking about 70isalimit

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

By 'altruistic surrogacy' that means the basic expenses (travel, clothes, missed work times? )

Out of the goodness of their heart?

[Mrsjayy]

Yes that is why they probably went to Thailand it was easier than maybe the condition s for surrogacy in Australia thats why go to india too you go choose your incubator and get your baby.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

So ultimately, she made the decision

They made a decision at the point all three of them decided to do whatever resulted in the conception. After that point the decision not to terminate was not theirs to make (as indeed would a decision to terminate had only she wanted to)

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

I can right whatever way I like purple
I can write in French if I want.

I also have an opinion.
Just because my opinion is different to yours doesn't make me wrong and you right.

This is an open forum.

[KoalaDownUnder]

Are you telling me in the whole of Australia they couldn't find a Surrogate ?

Yes?

It's not at all unlikely to think that they couldn't find a surrogate in the 'whole of Australia'.

1. Paying someone to be a surrogate is illegal in Australia; it is only legal if no money changes hands.

1. Not many women want to do it for nothing, for someone they don't know.

1. Australia does not have the levels of poverty that somewhere like Thailand has. There are not as many women who might be enticed into illegal surrogacy arrangements out of desperation.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

write not 'right '

[purplepickles]

But when you are stating your opinion as fact, when there are very real facts and legalities that you clearly aren't aware of, then you're being unhelpful at best, and dangerous at worst.

[KoalaDownUnder]

From an Australian govt website:

"Altruistic surrogacy is where the surrogate mother does not make a profit. She might, however, be reimbursed by the commissioning parents for the cost of reasonable medical and legal expenses. Altruistic surrogacy is legal in most (but not all) Australian states and territories."

So in some states, you can't use a surrogate, full stop. In others, you can but you can only reimburse them for 'reasonable medical and legal expenses'. In other words, the surrogate can't make any money out of it.

It's pretty restrictive (and deliberately so).

[Mrsjayy]

It is When you have babies for profit that is what's wrong imo

[hackmum]

It's just another way in which poor women get shafted by rich people, in my view.

[however]

Of course that's why they fucking went to Thailand. Wombs are going cheap there. I guess they could've gone to the US, but then it's more expensive and we're talking about both parties being on a more level playing field. Much easier in Thailand.

She went agains their wishes and exercise her right to do whatever the fuck she wanted with her own body. She might be impoverished (and likely, illiterate) but at least she has that right.

And if you think she was the only one who took money for that service, you probably believe in Santa Claus. Poor countries are full of poor women hiring out their wombs with plenty of middlemen standing by to pocket the cash. It sickens me. The parents are cunts. They didn't even meet the surrogate.

[KoalaDownUnder]

It's just another way in which poor women get shafted by rich people, in my view.

Agree completely. It's vile.

[aprilanne]

oh what a shame i would not have gave them either of the children .i am saying this as the mother of a disabled child .i feel very uneasy about surogacy but i realise it is sometimes peoples only choice

[oohdaddypig]

I'm uneasy about surrogacy too

[Mrsjayy]

Tbh the whole thing stinks your only way of making money is to rent out your womb

[however]

Mrsj, she wasn't having the babies for a widescreen TV, she was trying to have her existing children educated. An opportunity she probably didn't have.

Maybe she was hoping her own daughter wouldn't have to hire out her womb someday.

[Morloth]

It is just fucking cold to leave your baby, a twin no less to die and just walk away.

There is no explanation they could possibly offer that would make this OK.

They are fucked up.

[oohdaddypig]

... But people are desperate.

I am so lucky that hasn't been my predicament. But if it had I sure as hell would not be abandoning a baby with Downs in Thailand.

I have looked into being a surrogate but my body is too nackered. It would be a wonderful thing to do - but it would be on my terms.

[Mrsjayy]

Dont try and twist what I said maybe I didnt come across well im aware she didnt do it for a lavish lifestyle having babies for people who will pay you is not empowerment it shouldnt be an option to get her daughter an education.

[InSummer]

My first thought when I read this yesterday, was that little boy will need a good support network throughout life, and what better support than a twin

Horrible, messy situation.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

I don't actually care what her motive was, whether it was to educate her own children or pay for a wide screen TV.

In neither case once the rubicon was crossed of their agreeing to her carrying the child all bets were off on their having any rights (a) to her to abort and (b) walking away from the child.

[Viviennemary]

It's pretty awful in most people's opinion. But I don't really approve of surrogacy for money because it leads to situations like this. Babies bought and sold as a commodity and imperfect ones rejected. It's horrific.

[however]

I don't care what her motive was either. But talking about 'babies for profit' and declarations of 'but she TOOK the money' minimise or ignore the desperate plight many of these women are in that force them into the arrangement in the first place.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

unhelful at best, dangerous at worst
Why dangerous. Unless I run a surrogate agency and I'm given people the wrong advice?

.......you probably believe in Santa Claus insulting and patronising, thanks