To be upset I haven't spoken to my children.

[NacMacFeeglie]

In eight days.

My ex husband took them all on holiday. I gave it three days then tried to call. Answer machine. Text and asked to speak to them on Wednesday. No reply. Tried calling Wednesday. Answer machine. Text Thursday. No reply. Tried calling tonight. Rang three times and answer machine. Now back on answer machine.

I'm gutted. I really miss them and have no idea what time on Sunday they return home. I don't know why my ex husband isn't answering me either. Last we spoke he text to say the plane had landed and he thought my eldest was unwell. I text back an asked if she was okay. No reply.

I just wanted to see how they were all doing. I have even got myself a little paranoid that he won't bring them back. AIBU to think he could let me speak to them for ten minutes.

Maybe he knew you'd go nuts (quite rightly) and he put it off for as long as he could? You need to talk to him really.

Are your children back yet?

Why doesn't he pay maintenance at the moment?

Loletta- I agree.

The children are all home and all safe they are all very brown but happy.

The fracture is a clean break but in a t shape as such. I attempted to find out the ins and outs and the lack of contact to be told he wouldn't be lectured by me and has walked out without passing on the forms regarding my sons fracture.

He has been informed that I find his attitude very irresponsible and as he isn't prepared to discuss anything I will be contacting my solicitor for advice on the best way forward and in the mean time there will be no unsupervised contact with the children until I am happy that they are not at risk.

It's been exceptionally hard to keep my cool despite him demanding to see proof I had tried to contact the children

It will all be documented as with the other times the children have come to harm in his care.

I admire your attitude Nacfeeglie- you sound like a brilliant Mum.

The maintenance is a long story.

Initially we had an agreement that he would pay the children's school dinners which was eighty pound a month. He wasn't consistent and I went through csa. They decided he should pay three hundred and twenty pounds a month. Which he did but go himself sacked. I then started working weekends and we made an agreement that I wouldn't ask for maintenance as long as he had the children at the weekends and didn't mess me about with that. As he had a habit of doing previous. With my wage I was never well off but managed to support the children and I and he helped out on occasion with with winter gear or brownies trips and a holiday for them which was important to me.

However unfortunately after my breakdown which was my own fault in taking on too much working fulltime and in college and caring for four children along with being made homeless and having to go into a bnb I ended up in crisis and unable to work. I am into recovery now and planning college one day a week with volunteer work also but I am struggling financially. I do have a partner that doesn't live with me but he cares for his mum and I can't expect him to support my children. I don't want to go through csa and would be more than happy with say one hundred a month. He is working full time and only has himself to support.

I'm far from a perfect mum combust. I had issues towards the end of last year with a difficult relationship with my partner and also a suicide attempt during which my ex could have chose to take action over however despite being very unwell emotionally I still cared for my children and did my best to keep them unaware to the difficulties I was going through. There were child concerns raised though mandatory ones because of the suicide attempt then the breakdown but no action was taken on them because there were no grounds too. My crisis team family and friends and the kids school all made it clear the children were fine which they were.

As said I'm not perfect and I don't expect him to be. But I can't ignore his refusal to talk about the arm and also to pass on paperwork regarding my sons care.

None of us are perfect NacMac. I am just commenting that you sound like are an amazing Mum. OK you have been through some hard times, but you are pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and have a positive attitude.
I take my hat off to you and send some big hugs.

Nat you sound like a great mum to me. It sounds like you've had a hell of a year but, despite your own difficulties, you have put your children first and worked hard to recover.

You've also been more than reasonable with your ex, who sounds l(sorry to be blunt) like a complete waste of space.

In addition to that, you have handled this particular situation really well despite the (understandable) anger and frustration you must be feeling. Please be a bit kinder to yourself!

IMO your decision to restrict access, given the circumstances described here, is the right one. Your ex sounds like he can't be trusted.

Thanks ladies. Nothing further from himself but had a lovely evening with the children. I was a bit puzzled about how to get his top off and how to settle him into bed but my eldest being an expert on everything in the world kept me right.

I'm so pleased they are home, you must be relieved

Im so glad they are home, I was genuinly worried about your situation.

Also you do sound like a great mum and Im very sorry for the awful year you have had, I hope that better things are round the corner.

I'm glad they're back safely and I think you're doing the right thing stopping unsupervised contact.