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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset I haven't spoken to my children.

115 replies

NacMacFeeglie · 01/08/2014 18:59

In eight days. Sad

My ex husband took them all on holiday. I gave it three days then tried to call. Answer machine. Text and asked to speak to them on Wednesday. No reply. Tried calling Wednesday. Answer machine. Text Thursday. No reply. Tried calling tonight. Rang three times and answer machine. Now back on answer machine.

I'm gutted. I really miss them and have no idea what time on Sunday they return home. I don't know why my ex husband isn't answering me either. Last we spoke he text to say the plane had landed and he thought my eldest was unwell. I text back an asked if she was okay. No reply.

I just wanted to see how they were all doing. I have even got myself a little paranoid that he won't bring them back. AIBU to think he could let me speak to them for ten minutes.

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesCake · 01/08/2014 19:29

Sorry Blush Sunday's a couple of days away, it will fly by. There's probably a good reason why he hasn't been in touch so you can talk about it when your DC are home.

My ex used to bring ds back late on his days and it used to drive me up the wall. He didn't have a mobile so I couldn't call. Stay strong, it's just a couple of days. Thanks

Original poster
NacMacFeeglie · 01/08/2014 19:30

Of course I would be fine with him speaking to them when on holiday not that I ever take them away because I can't afford it. He sees them every weekend and we are amicable.

I am flitting between feeling very upset and very angry. My eldest was supposedly becoming unwell and my youngest gets very upset when separated from me. I just want to know how they are doing.

He is with his family but I don't have any of their numbers. We are not in contact they live six hundred miles away and just deal with my ex in terms of the children.

I haven't tried every day either. I gave them three days to the Monday bearing in mind the last contact I had was him telling me my daughter felt hot and was saying she felt unwell. Then I text the same night and asked to speak on Wednesday night. Answer machine.

He isn't out of battery as his phone rang three times tonight then went to answer machine. It hasn't been ringing at all previous. He must also have had signal for it to ring and not go to answer machine.

I am tempted to ring the flight company and ask them the return flight on Sunday when they are due back.

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesCake · 01/08/2014 19:33

Do they have a facebook account? You could take a sneaky peak to see if there's any pictures of your DC, that way you can see that they are OK.

Original poster
NacMacFeeglie · 01/08/2014 19:34

We are separated three years. I am now engaged. I split with him. No affairs etc but he was a habitual weed smoker drank most nights and in the end became violent. Just the once but that was the end for me. He has since cleaned up his act and although the first year was rough we have been fine since. So much so that during a breakdown I had at the start of the year he stayed with me for a month.

He took them away for a week last year and I spoke to them whilst they were away.

It's ten days this time. I have my partner and friends etc. but these are my children. I just miss them and wanted to see how they were.

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesCake · 01/08/2014 19:35

Of course you do. He's due for a right bollocking.

bananananacoconuts · 01/08/2014 19:36

It wouldn't be difficult to search the flight times from the airport they're flying from from/to.
Sorry this has happened to you OP. FWIW, i did this to my ex when we went on holiday last year. I texted him as soon as we landed in the Uk but realised i hadn't given him a second thought while we were having a good time.
Maybe your little one would be upset to hear your voice, i know this happens with my DD when she speaks to her dad

BertieBotts · 01/08/2014 19:37

The flight company won't give you the details of the flight I'm afraid. You could look on the website to see which flights are running that day to get an idea, but don't set too much store by it - he might take them for some food before dropping them home or something. It would be considerate if he let you know what time to expect them - perhaps he will text on the day?

I totally understand you feel anxious but try to distract yourself in some way. He'd let you know if there was a problem, I'm sure. He let you know that your eldest was unwell, didn't he? I agree it was shitty of him not to let you know how that turned out, but I'm sure she's fine. They are with family who love them and they will be back with you soon.

It's not so much about whether you would be fine letting them speak to him when on holiday with you, but whether he would expect to speak to them while on holiday with you. My guess would be not.

FreudiansSlipper · 01/08/2014 19:59

How mean does he have a history of wanting to upset you ?

I would be very very unhappy too but he will bring them home on Sunday and I am sure they having a great time, missing you but still having wonderful time

Still the very least he should be doing is telling you this it's horrible not too

Wantsunshine · 01/08/2014 20:10

They will be fine. He is clearly doing this to get to you. I would feel the same as you though. Just think 48 hours and they will be back in your arms. Then fuck him and don't be so amicable.

TinCanAnnie · 01/08/2014 20:17

I'd be wondering what he's said to your DC. Surely they will have asked to speak to Mummy?

Foxy800 · 01/08/2014 21:13

I know how you feel, mine has been away for 5 days and normally would phone every other night but I have only had one call this week, and I honestly think it is because we are having issues at the moment and he is trying to get at me. They will be home with you very soon.x

Original poster
NacMacFeeglie · 02/08/2014 08:13

He finally text at midnight last night. Said he hasn't had signal and then went on to say he thought I was calling Wednesday and I could have called any day. So he did get my text about asking to call Wednesday and said I could have called anytime which is contradictory to him having no signal.

I'm annoyed. But mostly relieved the children are fine and so excited to have them home tomorrow.

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesCake · 02/08/2014 11:58

Smile That's great! My phone's a bit dodgy when there's a crap signal. Sometimes it calls, sometimes things go to voicemail and I can't listen to them.

Not long to go now Thanks

Mrsjayy · 02/08/2014 12:23

They went on a plane to devon are you outside the uk I assume. You are panicking maybe you should just try and relax till sundy

EarthWindFire · 02/08/2014 12:49

They went on a plane to devon are you outside the uk I assume

Not necessarily... Scotland or Northern England or NI.

BertieBotts · 02/08/2014 14:00

Scotland I would guess from nickname?

Don't know why people have to pick apart every thread.

OP I hope you're doing something nice and fun and distracting :)

CheeryName · 02/08/2014 14:03

I hope they've had a great time. Sorry your ex is such a horrible man, I would be so cross.

Zame · 02/08/2014 15:29

So Glad you've spoken to them. My ex has decided I won't be allowed to speak to the children whilst they're with him, I'm furious

gordyslovesheep · 02/08/2014 15:32

Nac I'm glad you've made contact matey xxxx Mine are in Poole with their dad now - thankfully eldest has her own phone so I stay in touch - your ex, as I know, is a penis xxxxx

Original poster
NacMacFeeglie · 02/08/2014 21:04

Just had a phone call from ex to tell me my youngest has a broken arm in two places. Apparently happened Thursday but only discovered to be broken tonight.

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesCake · 02/08/2014 21:06

Shock Bugger! They he be allowed to fly?

GothMummy · 02/08/2014 21:12

Oh I am really sorry she has broken her arm, but so glad he is in contact with you.

SapphireMoon · 02/08/2014 21:14

Poor little soul.
Hope you get them home Sunday and flying home not delayed.
You need explanation re arm...

Original poster
NacMacFeeglie · 02/08/2014 21:30

He says my son is okay to fly. I got some garbled explanation about him taking my son down a slide into a ball pit and accidentally squashing my sons arm.

He fractured my eldests skull at seven months old also. He just doesn't think of their safety.

I'm trying not to be angry. It's an accident but now my son has to start school with a broken right arm. I also have no idea how to care for a child with a broken arm.

OP posts:
ChoccaDoobie · 02/08/2014 21:34

Poor you op, sorry you've had such a horrible week and sorry to hear about your dd's arm. So glad they are coming home tomorrow. I would have been going out of my mind.