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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if everyone stopped having weddings everyone's life would be easier.

46 replies

Pipbin · 28/07/2014 23:04

I am happily married, and I like the whole 'being married' thing but will everyone just stop it with weddings?

Half the threads of AIBU seem to be about going to or having weddings. People who are invited to some bits but not other bits, people going to hen nights or stag dos, or not going to hen nights or stag dos.............

I think that if you want to get married then fine but will everyone stop with the weddings and related shit-storms.

OP posts:
Teddybeau1988 · 28/07/2014 23:07

DH and I eloped. ( although we had to have a formal reception to keep our mothers reasonably happy and to give them their time in the spotlight)

King1982 · 28/07/2014 23:27

YABU, to dictate what should or shouldn't be posted about.

The thing that pisses me off about weddings is the personal cost for guests. Stag/hen dos and wedding weekends seem to getting more and more expensive. Plus the days off work to attend these events eats in to holiday/paid leave.

HaroldLloyd · 28/07/2014 23:28

People are miserable buggers about weddings on here.

Go, or don't go, it's an invite not a summons.

NewtRipley · 28/07/2014 23:29

I think people should realise their wedding is less important to everyone else than it is to them, and not feel offended or hurt by that

NewtRipley · 28/07/2014 23:30

And guests should realise that weddings are more important to the bride and groom than they are to them, so be a bit sensitive.

NewtRipley · 28/07/2014 23:30

Basically, everyone should just grow up a bit

RudyMentary · 28/07/2014 23:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wheelerdeeler · 28/07/2014 23:32

I've a wedding this Friday. Will be a good day out but expensive (new dress, hair, gift, taxi home, day off). And a wedding the following week. Can wear same dress but involves overnight stay.

It isn't easy to just refuse an invite. If it was, we'd all do it.

ICanSeeTheSun · 28/07/2014 23:33

Hopefully people only get married once, then they should have the wedding they want.

Guest don't have to go

HaroldLloyd · 28/07/2014 23:34

No I wouldn't refuse them all, because I like to celebrate things with my friends, and if your not good enough friends with them to want to go then it should be easy enough to not go.

Unless it's stupidly expensive then I have no qualms in saying no I just can't afford it.

HaroldLloyd · 28/07/2014 23:35

EG if a wedding is on a work day and you don't want to habe a day off, perfect excuse, no time off.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 28/07/2014 23:40

When you're my age, weddings are the only chance you get to boogey on down.....
and embarrass the bejezus out of your kids
Sad

BackforGood · 28/07/2014 23:51

I love being invited to weddings, but I only seem to know normal people, who don't have ridiculous expectations of their guests, and I also understand that the way the day pans out might not be the way I'd have chosen to do it, but it's not my wedding, so I go along with an open mind, and I always have a nice time.

I do enjoy the threads on here though, for the entertainment values, even though I am convinced a good proportion of them HAVE to be made up.

Boleh · 28/07/2014 23:54

What Harold said, their 1st post was the most sensible thing I've read about weddings on here!

Oh, and YABU, you had your wedding but now don't want other people to have one too Hmm

Original poster
Pipbin · 29/07/2014 00:14

Of course I'm not trying to dictate what people post this is /lighthearted/ ladies.

What I'm saying is that they seem to cause do much worry and stress to so many people we just should stop them all together. This a humerous observation and not to be taken with any kind of serious intent.

OP posts:
Lally112 · 29/07/2014 00:22

People should just elope, no pleasing others, no awkward threads about money or a gift, kids or no kids, plus ones or no plus ones etc. just bugger off and do it if you want to.

MrsD0nnaLyman · 29/07/2014 00:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squtternutbaush · 29/07/2014 00:27

We're being boring, afternoon at registry office with close family then back to my mums for a few drinks and some food.

Too many people get caught up in the wedding day and forget its about the marriage IMHO.

LittlePeaPod · 29/07/2014 00:30

I have to say, I can't remember the last time I saw so many threads about weddings. DH and I cancelled our UK wedding because MIL and my mother wanted to invite random people we didn't really know. Also people moaning about us wanting a child free wedding. We basically told them all that the UK wedding was off. DH and I had booked an amazing wedding abroad in the Seychells and we were blowing the entire budget our cash not parents on that wedding and the honeymoon.

Lots of pissed of people but to be frank DH and I didn't care less. The wedding was about us not the guests and my MIL/my mother. 12 months on they have all got over it not that I would be bothered if they hadn't.

HaroldLloyd · 29/07/2014 08:09

The wedding threads give me inner rage, I don't know why.

I've not even had a wedding. Grin

indigo18 · 29/07/2014 08:22

Some brides seem to see their wedding as a way of excluding/annoying/thwarting the ideas of their mother. Some doubtless have valid reasons but for the rest, I hope this comes back and bites you on the bottom when your own spoiled, pampered DC plan their weddings and your views are not worthy of consideration.
No, not bitter, we haven't got to the wedding stage yet.

LittlePeaPod · 29/07/2014 08:58

Personally I will support whatever my DD does on her wedding day if she decides to get married I certainly won't be dictating anything. What I learned from planning my UK wedding which we cancelled was it's really not about anyone but the B&G.

To this day I still don't understand why anyone would think otherwise. [cobfused]

callamia · 29/07/2014 09:06

I love weddings! A big old party with my friends - what's not to like?

I am amazed at the faff that people get into about attending them though. That, and joyfully, my friends' weddings have all been pretty much free from controversy.

Mrsjayy · 29/07/2014 09:23

I really didnt realise people got so arsey about weddings they really think they are the important ones that everywhim should be considered go dont go you were invited but you are not the vip, have to admit wedding threads are hilarious I love them my favourites are when the B & G have the audacity to only invite to the evening do Grin

Thurlow · 29/07/2014 09:30

YABU because if people want to throw a wedding, they should throw a wedding.

However, YANBU about the stress that seems to be involved.

I love a good wedding. Just the other weekend we went to the most amazing wedding in a country house, everyone pitched in to help set up, it was basically just a massive house party with a wedding in the middle. Perfect day.

But why, why, why can't some people realise that while it is the most important day of their life and they want to spend £000s on it, it's not the same for their guests!

If you're not inviting kids, asking guests to travel, asking guests to pay lots of money to stay somewhere etc, then don't be surprised when not everyone is able to come.

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