To think that if everyone stopped having weddings everyone's life would be easier.

[Pipbin]

I am happily married, and I like the whole 'being married' thing but will everyone just stop it with weddings?

Half the threads of AIBU seem to be about going to or having weddings. People who are invited to some bits but not other bits, people going to hen nights or stag dos, or not going to hen nights or stag dos.............

I think that if you want to get married then fine but will everyone stop with the weddings and related shit-storms.

[weatherall]

I like parties so I like weddings.


I hate marriage though- it is outdated and misogynistic.

[PetulaGordino]

I have never been to a wedding I didn't enjoy

(You keep count preciousbane??)

[LittlePeaPod]

34. Are you crashing weddings Preciousbane

[Sapat]

We solved the kids issue by having a children's room full of toys and a nursery nurse to childmind them so parents could let them play and she kept an eye on the kids who were sleeping. It worked a treat.

[HaroldLloyd]

Someone did sell an invite on eBay didn't they? Must have been a piss take.

[LittlePeaPod]

@ GemmaWella

[GemmaWella81]

I thought the idea of wedding was to piss off as many people as possible?

People spend thousands in the pursuit of the ultimate insult.

[MaryWestmacott]

YABU because I love a good wedding - I don't get the angst on here - a nice meal with friends and loved ones, drinking and dancing all together, someone else picking up the bulk of the costs, it's a great day/night out!

If it doesn't suit, because you can't get there, would have to stay over and can't afford it, can't get childcare, then don't go, there's very few weddings of the 30+ i've been to that were ones I couldn't miss, in fact, I think only DBIL is the only one where it would have been a problem to decline. (and when my DB finally gets round to arranging his, I suppose missing his would be a problem).

The issue here is that most people seem to think the event is about them - that if it's not been planned to suit them, then it's all sorts of wrong. Weddings are about the couple getting married. If their parents/extended family are paying, then it's also about them, but generally, it's just a day for the happy couple. Beyond that, you should be delighted to matter enough to them to be invited, but not think that making it perfect for you should be the priority of the couple - you are just a guest!

Now, a lot of the bridezilla angst usually strikes me as because you get people who've never arranged an 'event' previously suddenly having to do their own. Most people can't afford wedding planners, but it is a full time job, trying to do it on a budget, fitting around another full time job when you don't really know what you are doing is hard and most will make mistakes/get stressed.

[miaowmix]

I love weddings so much I just had my own.
It was properly awesome, though I say so myself. Very small, registry office ceremony, followed by a reception at a local pub. We paid for the lot.
There were 35 guests, only 5 children (family mainly) who were all packed off to sleepovers for the evening party which we held in our house/garden with c 120 people.
Apart from my best friend who stayed in a hotel, and my cousin who stayed with a neighbour, everybody lives in London nearby so there was no real expense for any of them, we paid for the whole day and evening and asked for no presents (although my lovely generous family and friends plied us with them anyway).
I can't think how anyone would have been offended by these arrangements - the only stipulation was no children (except v close friends and family). I even asked other guests (v good friends) first, some of whom have 2 or 3 children including toddlers, if they'd mind the kids not coming.
Universally their reaction was 'god no, I want to enjoy myself, please no children!'.
Then again we are all in our late 30's/40's so a bit older than the typical wedding I suppose, and the universal theme was to have fun and celebrate, no preciousness involved ( I hope!).
But yes, ultimately it was of course my day and my husband's day, and it really isn't about pleasing other people, though I hope they enjoyed it (and the all night party). All everybody had to do was arrange babysitting for one night - easily done.
I have never seen so much hysteria about weddings as I have seen on here. In my real life experience everyone loves them and wants to have fun, and nobody I know would dream of caring if their kids weren't invited, certainly not to an evening reception.
God that's my longest ever post on MN. Jeez.

[TouchOfNatural]

Only problem weddings are spouted about on here - all the fab weddings aren't mentioned.

YABU

[Titsalinabumsquash]

I hate weddings!

I will happily swap all my wedding attendances with one of you who likes them?

We're (me and DP) at an age where not a week goes past without one of our friends announcing an engagement.

I'm quite frankly running out of shit excuses to use, sadly the last time I didn't use one and simply RSVP'd with "thanks for the invite but we won't be coming, have a lovely day" lead to being de friended by the couple.

[Sapat]

I love weddings! Obviously mine was the best. All my friends and family are all nice, sensible folks so all the weddings I have been to have been lovely. Some people get pretty worked up about them and spend a bloody fortune. I unfortunately know a fair few couples where the wedding debt has lasted longer than the marriage. Apparently the average wedding costs £20k!!!!!

The problem arises from stress levels, unreasonable expectations from B&G and lack of courtesy from guests. Previous posts, if you don't want to go to a wedding/balk at the expense, decline the invitation. Don't accept then whinge.

[LittlePeaPod]

Yeap! Hilarious.

[Mrsjayy]

Oh boycott the wedding fab

[angelos02]

throw

[angelos02]

I think some brides through it all out of proportion and that is when problems arise. I am married, didn't get stressed about it, started a new job a couple of weeks beforehand, still didn't get stressed. No hen-do. Nay bother.

[LittlePeaPod]

My favourite recent wedding thread was the one where the bride had only invited some of her work colleagues rather than the entire office. There was uproar in the office and some MNers who thought those invited should boycott the wedding unless bride invited everyone.

It's seems some work colleagues now feel entitled to VIP treatment. Hilarious!

[Ryma8789]

I'm getting married this year, and it's not without its stresses, but on the whole I'm loving the organising and the anticipation! If people are unhappy with something, they are welcome not to come! We also have four other weddings to go to this year and I'm looking forward to them also I think people just need to chill a bit!

[Thurlow]

YABU because if people want to throw a wedding, they should throw a wedding.

However, YANBU about the stress that seems to be involved.

I love a good wedding. Just the other weekend we went to the most amazing wedding in a country house, everyone pitched in to help set up, it was basically just a massive house party with a wedding in the middle. Perfect day.

But why, why, why can't some people realise that while it is the most important day of their life and they want to spend £000s on it, it's not the same for their guests!

If you're not inviting kids, asking guests to travel, asking guests to pay lots of money to stay somewhere etc, then don't be surprised when not everyone is able to come.

[Mrsjayy]

I really didnt realise people got so arsey about weddings they really think they are the important ones that everywhim should be considered go dont go you were invited but you are not the vip, have to admit wedding threads are hilarious I love them my favourites are when the B & G have the audacity to only invite to the evening do

[callamia]

I love weddings! A big old party with my friends - what's not to like?

I am amazed at the faff that people get into about attending them though. That, and joyfully, my friends' weddings have all been pretty much free from controversy.

[LittlePeaPod]

Personally I will support whatever my DD does on her wedding day if she decides to get married I certainly won't be dictating anything. What I learned from planning my UK wedding which we cancelled was it's really not about anyone but the B&G.

To this day I still don't understand why anyone would think otherwise. [cobfused]