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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it is NEVER ok to buy someone something to 'slim' into?!

46 replies

Sleepingbunnies · 28/07/2014 20:06

Friends partner has just bought her two dresses in a size smaller than what she is. Deliberately. Told her it would give her motivation... WTF?!

I would be livid if my DP done this to me! She doesn't seem bothered? Said it was nice of him to buy her dresses???!!

OP posts:
Littleturkish · 28/07/2014 20:08

Totally depends- shows he has faith in her ability to lose weight?

mrsbucketxx · 28/07/2014 20:09

Id be fuming too.

Translation your fatter than I would like, I would like you to be this size.

Out of order, is she not angry at all.

MrsJossNaylor · 28/07/2014 20:09

Is she on a diet and openly talking about said diet? If so, YABU, I think he was doing a nice thing.

If she wasn't planning on losing weight, though, it was rather insensitive. More info needed!

magpiegin · 28/07/2014 20:09

Is she currently trying to get to that size? If so, I would be happy with that.

Original poster
Sleepingbunnies · 28/07/2014 20:09

Yup, get that but surely you would wait and buy her the dresses after she'd lost the weight?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sleepingbunnies · 28/07/2014 20:11

He said he wouldn't marry her if she was a 'heifer' she is a size 10-12.
I think he is an arse!

OP posts:
Frontier · 28/07/2014 20:13

If it was support for a diet she wants to do then it's nice and supportive, if that's the way she sees it, that's fine

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/07/2014 20:13

Ok for yourself, albeit potentially setting yourself up to fail, definitely not ok for someone else.

steff13 · 28/07/2014 20:15

He said he wouldn't marry her if she was a 'heifer' she is a size 10-12

I foresee bigger problems with this relationship than her size...

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/07/2014 20:16

Is your friend upset about it?

If she has been banging on about wanting to lose weight and mentioning buying herself something to slim into to her dp? If she has, he may be trying to be supportive.

WitchWay · 28/07/2014 20:16

A heifer size 10-12!!! Shock Angry Sad

caramelwaffle · 28/07/2014 20:16

It depends very much on the context.

Happy36 · 28/07/2014 20:16

If she is actively dieting I think it's a well meant gesture, however one size smaller might be more motivating than two over the long-term.

If she is happy with her current weight then it is not a reasonable thing for her partner to have done!!

caramelwaffle · 28/07/2014 20:17

X post

Original poster
Sleepingbunnies · 28/07/2014 20:17

To my knowledge (which might be limited as I do to see her that often) she has never mentioned wanting to lose weight to me. I just Instantly fumed when she told me.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 28/07/2014 20:18

She shouldn't marry him while he is a controlling dick.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/07/2014 20:19

He's a twat. That's it really.

And I bet he's Mr fucking universe...

MrsGSR · 28/07/2014 20:21

Her DP sounds like a twat.

But I'm slowly (DD is 6 months!) losing weight to get back to my pre pregnancy size. I'm buying odd bits and pieces in my old size as motivation so I would be very happy if DH did the same. So it does depend on your how your friend feels.

Bunbaker · 28/07/2014 20:23

How tall is she?

TheFairyCaravan · 28/07/2014 20:24

I would be pissed off if DH did that to me, the same way as he would be pissed off if I did it to him.

Her 'D'P sounds like a cock who she'd be better off without!

Rafflesway · 28/07/2014 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Frontier · 28/07/2014 20:26

As you don't see her often and she is apparently thrilled do you think it's possible her dp knows her best and actually got something that to her is a good thoughtful gift? Doesn't matter how you'd feel - the gift wasn't for you.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 28/07/2014 20:27

Whatever her weight..if he actually called her a heifer..he is a dick.

Original poster
Sleepingbunnies · 28/07/2014 20:33

I was there when the heifer comment was made!

I think it's horrid and controlling :(

OP posts:
DoJo · 28/07/2014 20:35

It's never ok to be a controlling, rude, sanctimonious knob-walloper.

It can be ok to buy someone something which you think they will like and will motivate them (but only if you know the person really well and know that they will really like it, or really like you enough to know that you meant well).

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