What would you expect your DH to do?

[notkatemiddleton]

Last night, I went out for a meal with some friends for a friends birthday

I drove back to our house as i am 30 weeks pregnant and wasn't drinking but everyone else was (the car was full). I drove because the taxi from our house to the restaurant and back again was £50 each way. So I thought seeing as I wasn't drinking, i would save everyone (including myself) some extra cash.

During the drive back from the restaurant , in the dark, in country lanes, with me driving, when I braked to go around a corner, a friend of my DH thumped the back of my seat, violently to mimic a head hitting the back of it. He was told off by my DH as in "Come on man...." but then did it again at some traffic lights later on in the journey. I got disorientated and almost went through a red light.

We got to our destination and I screamed at him to get out of the car. He said "Hit me then". I shouted "Get out of the fing car otherwise i fing will....get out of my sight".

I went straight to bed, sobbing my eyes out, woke up the next morning and the friend was gone. DH says that he spoke to him and that he was sorry and that he shouldn't have done it. But no apology to me??

Part of me expected my DH to be a bit more brutal with him, after all i was driving.

Me too, Pyjama.

Whoever said if it had been posted from the pissed prick's POV, this would have panned out very differently, hit the nail on the head.

But if you ask AIBU you have to accept some people will say you are.. And some people won't..

That's fine Prima but being so gleefully unpleasant as some posters have been is unnecessary don't you think?

Have you thought about some refresher lessons?

You shouldn't be driving 6 people around if you aren't confident.

The usual hatchet faced posters looking to pick on someone.
You'd think she'd nicked the fucking church collection plate.

She gets distracted by a drunken arsehole thumping the back of her seat and she's in the wrong for swearing!?!
I'd have chucked him out of the car and expected DH to help.

Me three! Yanbu, at all. I also would expect a bit more support and solidarity from dp. I think you've done a good job communicating your displeasure to the dangerous moron, so it's not as if you're hiding behind him, but ten weeks from giving birth it would really upset me to feel that he would put being polite and diplomatic ahead of having my corner.

He was clearly irritating, you weren't being u to be upset, but in answer to your question, I wouldn't have expected my dh to do anything. As a grown woman, I would handle the situation myself. Twould be nice if dh did join in, for solidarity, but I wouldn't expect him to.

"You shouldn't be driving 6 people around if you aren't confident."

I don't think they cover, a drinker arse sitting behind you thumping your seat, in driving lesson.

Unpleasantness is always unacceptable ..however pointing put that you think the OP has been unreasonable when that was the question asked is not necessarily nasty or unacceptable

I asked earlier but got no answer. Were the other passengers as alarmed for their lives as you were?

I suppose we all have to differ, I would expect DH to have my corner too as I would him.
I would be if he didn't stick up for me especially if some drunk cunt wanted to fight me when I was pregnant.

No one said it was prima. Its fine to say YABU. It's not fine to be so nasty and attacking about it.

"Were the other passengers as alarmed for their lives as you were?"

I think this rather stems from the fact that OP was responsible for 6 people in a car. Whether the other passengers were as alarmed as OP was is neither here nor there, since they weren't being heckled at the wheel by a pissed-up wanker.

Nicknack- No, my DH and other friend saw it coming and saw what he was doing so they didn't get the shock I did. I didn't as being the driver, I had my back to them.

Just to point out, many posters have responded to the OP's actual AIBU which related to the conduct of her husband and expecting him to have been more "brutal" and said yes, she was BU as husband had told the man to stop and afterwards apparently told him he was a twat.

I'd suggest though OP if you haven't already hide this thread as early on you said you couldn't really remember what had happened and now you're reflecting more in what happened. There's really no point going over and over it and upsetting yourself more. Just content yourself that most people think your husband acted proportionately and that you shouldn't do the other man a favour again.

I imagine the other passengers were pretty pissed too so probably thought it was a laugh.

Can't believe anyone is slating you for swearing at him!
So men can indulge in whatever dangerous pranks they want, but the worst crime of all is a woman swearing?
Fuck RIGHT off!

I don't get all the pp giving op a hard time. If you are the driver, your passengers should be grateful for the lift, not dicking about scaring the driver. He should have acted on the first warning, second time, he gets thrown out of the car, and uses the power of his legs to fuck off to the far side of fuck.

And while banging on a car seat is stupid behaviour, it's not up there with violence etc it is just stupid idiotic drunken behaviour.

No, WannaBe, it's not just stupid behaviour. Because what you have left out of that description is that it was the driver's seat he banged, and he did so suddenly and violently, trying to make her think there had been an accident and someone was injured. That is bloody dangerous behaviour on any terms,

What has your DH got to apologise for OP? It's his so called friend that owes you the apology.

Maybe your DH thought you had stood up for yourself and didn't need him to go in all hunter gatherer to protect his wife against his mate.

I think swearing like a banshee did you no favours.

"Can't believe anyone is slating you for swearing at him!"

It's not laydeelaike, don't you know?

He'd have had a knuckle sandwich from me, at thirty weeks pregnant, in this heat, I am afraid. I don't like being made to jump as it is, never mind under those circs.

Don't hide the thread, OP. There are lots of us coming out to defend you. DOn't let this lot make you feel like you've acted the twat.

Swearing like a banshee? Hmmmm, nice and sexist!

Fine for a man to offer a pregnant lady a fight and scare the bejesus out of her twice but DON'T YOU DARE SWEAR. Tis most unbecoming.

Jesus Christ I can't beleive these replies.

He could have caused a fatal accident.

He also treated you APPALLINGLY.

He's a complete twat and the only thing I'd be saying from now on is that the friendship is over, and you'd be really happy if your DH could make sure that you never see him again. And when that filters through to him and he finally grudgingly calls to give you an apology, tell him to spin.

Oh and yes I do not take kindly to hurr hurr hurring fuckfaces making me jump. Especially at the wheel of a car and at 30 weeks pregnant.

He's lucky I wasn't the one driving, because I would have gone absolutely apeshit, stopped the car, probably made EVERYONE get out, and driven home on my own and left them in the middle of nowhere. With Gurning Gordon for company.

Gurning Gordon