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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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AIBU to eat in front of my muslim coworkers?

281 replies

EmmbadTheBad · 27/07/2014 21:02

So it's Ramadan at the moment. I was at a meeting at work recently and a muslim woman, who I don't work with directly, made a comment about how thoughtless the people she shares an office with are for eating in front of her while she is fasting (at this point everyone glances guiltily towards the biscuits in the middle of the table). There are a couple of muslim women in my office and, I'll be honest, it had not even occurred to me that it might be insensitive to eat in front of them while they are fasting.

We do have a kitchen at work but it's very small and a lot of people, myself included, tend to eat at their desks. Quite apart from anything - as an atheist - I don't want to be observing other people's religious beliefs. I know Ramadan is nearly over but I intend to continue eating at my desk. IABU? Would appreciate opinion from anyone fasting at the mo.

OP posts:
maddening · 27/07/2014 23:31

Do you share her beliefs? If not then you are not unreasonable to not follow her customs.

Igggi · 27/07/2014 23:37

Some offices don't allow/encourage eating at desks. The smell of some people's lunches can be very off-putting! especially tuna Off topic but really people should take more of a stand and get away from their desks at lunchtime as much as possible, not a real break if not.

RonaldMcDonald · 27/07/2014 23:39

nah

yanbu

whatever a person's dietary habits they are their own and not for you to be bound by

dontquotem3 · 27/07/2014 23:41

Some interesting information what happens to our Body during fasting!

Detoxification Stage 1 (Day 1 To Day 2) p

On the first day of fasting, the blood sugar level drops. The heart slows and blood pressure is reduced. Glycogen is pulled from the muscle causing some weakness. The first wave of cleansing is usually the worst. Headaches, dizzinessnausea, bad breath, and a heavily coated tongue are signs of the first stage of cleansing. Hunger can be the most intense in this period.

Detoxification Stage 2 (Day 3 To Day 7)

Fats, composed of transformed fatty acids, are broken down to release glycerol from the gliceride molecules and are converted to glucose. The skin may become oily as rancid oils are purged from the body. People with problem-free skin may have a few days of pimples or even a boil. The body embraces the fast and the digestive system is able to take a much-needed rest, focusing all of its energies on cleansing and healing. White blood cell and immune system activity increases. You may feel pain in your lungs. The cleansing organs and the lungs are in the process of being repaired. The breath is still foul and the tongue coated. Within the intestine, the colon is being repaired and impacted feces on the intestinal wall start to loosen.

Detoxification Stage 3 (Day 8 to Day 15)

You will experience enhanced energy, clear-mindedness and feel better. On the downside, old injuries may become irritated and painful. This is a result of the body's increased ability to heal during fasting. If you had broken your arm 10 years before, there is scar tissue around the break. At the time of the break, the body's ability to heal was directly related to lifestyle. If you lived on a junk-food diet, the body's natural healing ability was compromised. During fasting, the body's healing process is at optimum efficiency. As the body scours for dead or damaged tissue, the lymphocytes enter the older, damaged tissue secreting substances to dissolve the damaged cells. These substances irritate the nerves in the surrounding region and cause a reoccurrence of aches from previously injured areas that may have disappeared years earlier. The pain is good as the body is completing the healing process. The muscles may become tight and sore due to toxin irritation. The legs can be the worst affected, as toxins accumulate in the legs. Cankers are common in this stage due to the excessive bacteria in the mouth. Daily gargling with salt and water will prevent or heal cankers.

Detoxification Stage 4 (Day 16 to Day 30)

The body is completely adapted to the fasting process. There is more energy and clarity of mind. Cleansing periods can be short with many days of feeling good in between. There are days when the tongue is pink and the breath is fresh. The healing work of the organs is being completed. After the detoxification mechanisms have removed the causative agent or render it harmless, the body works at maximum capacity in tissue proliferation to replace damaged tissue. After day 20, the mind is affected. Heightened clarity and emotional balance are felt at this time. Memory and concentration improve.

Pyjamaramadrama · 27/07/2014 23:41

I've worked with many people of Muslim faith over the years.

Not one single person has ever suggested this. Even in the face of being constantly offered food accidentally.

I don't believe a word of this.

dontquotem3 · 27/07/2014 23:42

Oh and ywnbu to eat in front of said Co worker.

Pyjamaramadrama · 27/07/2014 23:42

They don't try to ban Christmas either, or England flags.

kiplingmidst · 27/07/2014 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kerrymumbles · 28/07/2014 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SolidGoldBrass · 28/07/2014 21:10

It's quite often people who are new converts to some or other load of old cock belief system who are the most tiresome about it, whether that's the born-again vegan, the born-again non-smoker or the born-again god-botherer.

I must admit my response would probably have been 'Oh do fuck off and get a cheeseburger', though.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 28/07/2014 21:13

The woman in the OPS comment who complained that because SHE was fasting no one should eat in front of her was being unreasonable. She can' t expect the rest of the community to observe Ramadan if they are not Muslim.

MBT1987 · 28/07/2014 21:23

Fasting during Ramadan teaches self-restraint, self-discipline, and generosity. Linky - www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Holidays/Why-Do-Muslims-Fast-During-The-Month-Of-Ramadan.aspx

In your position, I would tell her this.

In between mouthfuls of bacon double cheeseburgers.

2013Mother2013 · 28/07/2014 21:37

She was impolite to make that comment and unreasonable to expect it.
In terms of effect of fast which someone wrote above remember they can eat 4000 calories + a night every night once the sun is down so it's not the same as any kind of total fast. It is still of course very unwise particularly the no drinking water until the sun is down, but only by our quiet Western atheist example will be ensure people realise the error of their ways.

There are interesting issues if you live in the land of the midnight sun where there is no sun set at all at some times of year which just shows how silly these religious things are as gradually people are realising.

SadOldGit · 28/07/2014 21:39

One hot sunday ;last year I was visiting family (am midwife) to do heel prick test. By the time I was done I was a tad warm (uniform not very air conditioned) As I filled in the paperwork I was brought a glass of chilled mango juice and some sliced watermelon. I was aware the family were fasting but they were very keen for me to have some refreshments - and very lovely it was too.

I no longer work in that area - but miss working in the friendliest most generous neighbourhood I have ever worked in - a lovely blend of nationalities, predominant;y muslim faith, but also with large proportion of Romanian and Eastern European families.

Player67 · 28/07/2014 21:56

but only by our quiet Western atheist example will be ensure people realise the error of their ways

Hmm

No thanks

how silly these religious things are as gradually people are realising

I guess atheist ways are never silly, just perfect

SolidGoldBrass · 28/07/2014 22:46

Believing in gods is ridiculous. However, so are a lot of other things that some people like to do. The fact that something is silly is not necessarily a problem. It only becomes a problem when it is allowed to impinge on other people eg not allowing your children to drink water on a hot day because your imaginary friend wouldn't like it.

Littleen · 28/07/2014 23:00

Of course you should eat!

Player67 · 28/07/2014 23:10

What is sensible is allowing your children to drink alcohol, getting them accustomed to the taste then being surprised when they come home drunk or don't come home after doing something beyond stupid

CoteDAzur · 28/07/2014 23:13

YANBU. We have been holidaying in a Muslim country these past weeks. Most people serving us in restaurants are fasting themselves. It is part of the fast to resist temptation. Your colleague is being ridiculous.

Player67 · 28/07/2014 23:14

Looking at your history you don't seem to think swinging is silly Solid

GoshAnneGorilla · 28/07/2014 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Player67 · 28/07/2014 23:17

This reply has been deleted

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Trollsworth · 28/07/2014 23:20

Player, why are you looking through another poster's history and commenting on her sexual behaviour?

In what way is that relevant? Doesn't it strike you as weird, creepy behaviour, to comment on someone's sexual behaviour on a thread about the impact of other people's religion on the general population.

CoteDAzur · 28/07/2014 23:22

With all due respect, this is completely wrong information:

"Even the British journal of midwifery have done a study saying pregnant women can fast and it causes no harm to the baby"

See here, for example.

Player67 · 28/07/2014 23:27

No it isn't

Community Midwifery Office, Birmingham Heartlands and Solihul NHS Trust, Bordesley Green East, Bordesley Green, Birmingham B9 5SS
British Journal of Midwifery
Vol. 15: Issue. 2: Pages. 79-81
(Volume publication date: February 2007)
DOI: 10.12968/bjom.2007.15.2.22785

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