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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to eat in front of my muslim coworkers?

281 replies

EmmbadTheBad · 27/07/2014 21:02

So it's Ramadan at the moment. I was at a meeting at work recently and a muslim woman, who I don't work with directly, made a comment about how thoughtless the people she shares an office with are for eating in front of her while she is fasting (at this point everyone glances guiltily towards the biscuits in the middle of the table). There are a couple of muslim women in my office and, I'll be honest, it had not even occurred to me that it might be insensitive to eat in front of them while they are fasting.

We do have a kitchen at work but it's very small and a lot of people, myself included, tend to eat at their desks. Quite apart from anything - as an atheist - I don't want to be observing other people's religious beliefs. I know Ramadan is nearly over but I intend to continue eating at my desk. IABU? Would appreciate opinion from anyone fasting at the mo.

OP posts:
Frontier · 27/07/2014 21:52

I've never experienced that either SGB

PhaedraIsMyName · 27/07/2014 21:53

SolidGold I was going to add to my post that if this woman did complain it had nothing to do with her religion but everything to do with her being a self-entitled pain in the arse. They come in all flavours.

Player67 · 27/07/2014 21:54

Bogeyface no food and drink from sunrise to sunset

It is healthy and doesn't cause problems in the heat

GodDamnBatman · 27/07/2014 21:54

I have yet to meet someone that's fasting that gets upset about other's eating.

If you don't want to follow your religious customs, don't do it. No one is forcing them to, any more than anyone is forcing Christians to not eat meat on Fridays during lent, or Jewish to never eat pork (and I know tons of Jewish guys that eat bacon).

That said, hunger does make people a bit cranky. Try not to take it personally.

sanfairyanne · 27/07/2014 21:54

weird

did you tell her that a number of mumsnet threads have shown her to be in a minority of just her?

and that its pretty much eid now?

LineRunner · 27/07/2014 21:56

And children and people with medical issues don't have to fast and everybody gets water.

DownByTheRiverside · 27/07/2014 21:57

cingolimama, Christianity doesn't have set prayer times. Islam does, and more people try and keep to the rules during Ramadan just like some Christians make an effort during Lent.
If you are on a full fast, nothing passes your lips during daylight. We had issues with children spitting because they wouldn't swallow the saliva.
many of the younger ones tried versions of fasting, from going without their snack to not eating between sunrise and lunch.
Over 10, most did the full fast. Then guzzled themselves sick on sweets and pop during Eid

Frontier · 27/07/2014 21:58

That's not right is it LineRunner, about the water? I'm sure it's no food or drink of any sort during daylight....

sanfairyanne · 27/07/2014 21:59

no drink or food sunrise to sunset

swallowing spit is fine

DownByTheRiverside · 27/07/2014 22:02

Like so many religious things, it depends on how strict you are in interpreting the rules, what your iman advises and which section of the Islamic world your particular variety comes from.

hellokittymania · 27/07/2014 22:03

No water

Bogeyface · 27/07/2014 22:10

Player Not being goading at all, just so you know, I am curious because I dont know much about this subject. But I do have issue with you saying it is very healthy, in this heat surely it cant be? OK, so maybe adults can deal with it but downby said that kids over 10 do it, and I am sorry but in this heat no child of that age should be spitting out their own saliva and not drinking water. I know that pg women, young children and the elderly are not expected to do it, are there allowances made for older kids, ill people, disabled people, anyone otherwise vulnerable etc? Is it down to choice and interpretation how one fasts or is it a set of unbendable rules?

Frontier · 27/07/2014 22:19

BBC link

According to the BBC "Muslims who are physically or mentally unwell may be excused some of these, as may those who are under twelve years old, the very old, those who are pregnant, breast-feeding, menstruating, or travelling"

So, Bogey, the answer to your questions is yes. And yes, there are lots of interpretations, just the same as there are lots of interpretations of the Bible.

I agree it doesn't sound healthy but frankly, I'm sure that if numerous Muslims were being taken ill during Ramadan the DM would have let us know by now.

Pilgit · 27/07/2014 22:21

One of my colleagues is observing Ramadan. It was his birthday during it. He bought just as many cakes as normal (we were still eating a week later - he is incredibly generous). He has never had a problem with any of us eating as it is his observation not ours. The only concession he asked for was to have our monthly team lunch before it started.

Player67 · 27/07/2014 22:21

It is not compulsory on children until they reach puberty.

Believe it or not Muslims can function on no water and food for 18 - 21 hours a day

Even the British journal of midwifery have done a study saying pregnant women can fast and it causes no harm to the baby

One of my neighbours fasted very successfully even in her late eighties

Disabled Muslims have fasted even with several cerebral palsy and other disabilities

cingolimama · 27/07/2014 22:22

Down I'm sure you didn't need to be so patronising, but I'm aware that Muslims pray at set times during the day!

Bogeyface · 27/07/2014 22:23

I am not bashing at all, just curious.

I know that Lent is open to very wide interpretation and I wondered if Ramadan was the same. I have to admit that I think that 12 is too young to go 18(ish) hours without water and thats leaving aside the issue of a big meal followed by bed!

Player67 · 27/07/2014 22:24

I didn't think you were bashing Bogey

My neighbour is 14 and has just completed a whole Ramadan whilst doing exams and work experience

Frontier · 27/07/2014 22:24

Yes, Pilgit, I find Muslims to be very generous too (another gross generalisation but at least it's positive!) At Christmas (my holiday, not theirs) many of my customers send me bottles of booze - which they wouldn't drink but they like to send me something I'll enjoy Blush

They don't have an issue with me drinking, even though they don't and they wouldn't have an issue with me eating when they aren't. They also like to help me celebrate my holiday. I fully expect to be sharing their Eid treats too Grin

Bogeyface · 27/07/2014 22:25

And YY I agree that if there was even the tiniest indication of a burden on the NHS from Ramadan then the Daily Mail would be on it like flies on shit!

As I say, asking because I dont know, not because I have a problem with it :)

DownByTheRiverside · 27/07/2014 22:26

' Nor do I require a separate facility such as a prayer room in order to cope.'

I thought you didn't understand why they needed a prayer room. Or were you saying that you didn't need one as a person keeping Lent, so a Muslim person shouldn't either?
Don't understand how my explanation was patronising. Confused

Bogeyface · 27/07/2014 22:26

My neighbour is 14 and has just completed a whole Ramadan whilst doing exams and work experience

Wow! I cant do a day on a diet without walking into a shop and forgetting why I am there, although I concede that that may be age and not food :o

NoodleOodle · 27/07/2014 22:58

What makes you say it's healthy player?

shockinglybadteacher · 27/07/2014 23:20

Igggi our staff kitchens are tiny and if you tried to eat in there you would piss everyone off. They are for the preparation of food not consumption - you can eat at your desk or go off-premises or eat in one of the eating areas, two of those options put you in full view anyway. It would be fairly unreasonable to ask people who bring in a packed lunch not to during Ramadan, or those who prepare things in the office.

FreudiansSlipper · 27/07/2014 23:24

no sex from sunrise to sundown either and all smokers I have know will not smoke