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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She should ask before using my stuff

36 replies

Cherryblossomsmile · 27/07/2014 00:26

Our babysitter is lovely. Dc adore her and we have always been happy with her.

We came back along our street tonight and our bedroom light was on. We could see someone at the window. We thought one of the kids.

She came down the stairs as we came in and when we asked if everything was ok she said yes the kids have been fine Nd not woken up.

After she left I went into our room and found my ceramic hair curling wand was hot. She was fully made up and on her way out after leaving us. Aibu to expect her to ask before using my stuff in my bedroom ?

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 27/07/2014 00:30

I'd find a new babysitter. Totally out of order!

Leeds2 · 27/07/2014 00:33

I wouldn't like that at all.

ArsenicFaceCream · 27/07/2014 00:34

Bit naughty.

Personally I would find a new sitter.

Original poster
Cherryblossomsmile · 27/07/2014 00:34

It's the fact she said nothing. Even if she'd said oh I was just using your mirror I hope that's ok. It feels so disrespectful.

I'm pissed off.

OP posts:
DoJo · 27/07/2014 00:35

That is rude - why was she even in your bedroom? Is it possible that one of your kids and said you wouldn't mind her using it before they went to bed? It's an odd thing to do in someone else's home.

Original poster
Cherryblossomsmile · 27/07/2014 00:36

Would you say something? Or just use someone else dig hour telling her why?

She lives nearby. We use her regularly and pay her well.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 27/07/2014 00:37

Ok it was about 100 years ago I baby sat but the only rooms I went into were kids rooms living room loo and kitchen.

there's no reason to be in your room let alone using your stuff.

If I were you I'd be wondering where else is she poking into

Teddybeau1988 · 27/07/2014 00:37

I would not be happy. There's not really any reason for her to be in your room anyway is there? Presuming DC have their own bedrooms

Original poster
Cherryblossomsmile · 27/07/2014 00:37

Without

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 27/07/2014 00:38

Of course she should have asked, or at least told you she'd used it when you came back.

It's not on that she was even in your bedroom!

Was your wand thingy kept out in the open or did she have to root around to find it?

Babysitting doesn't give you free rein to help yourself to anything you can find.

Original poster
Cherryblossomsmile · 27/07/2014 00:38

No reason. Other than I have a nice dressing table p.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherryblossomsmile · 27/07/2014 00:39

No it was out on the dressing table

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 27/07/2014 00:42

Would she know that you had a curling wand, like if she'd seen you using it before, or would she only have known by wandering around your room to have a nosy?

crashbandicoot · 27/07/2014 00:48

if she is a good babysitter then maybe just have a quiet word?

ArsenicFaceCream · 27/07/2014 01:02

Imagine using her again. Will you be sitting in a restaurant wondering what she is rifling through? Or are you confident it was a one off or that it wasn't that bad or that she only used 'public' items?

Unexpected · 27/07/2014 01:06

I would text her and ask her outright if she had used your curling wand as you picked it up and it was hot and you are concerned that it may be faulty? See how she responds.

GarlicJulyKit · 27/07/2014 01:14

If she's young, I'd just tell her clearly that she's not to treat your home as her own. A teenager would probably wander in to use her mum's or sister's hair appliances, and I'd give her the benefit of the doubt by explaining you mustn't do that in other people's homes.

If she's snitty about it, or lies, she's fired I reckon.

expatinscotland · 27/07/2014 01:16

YANBU

Original poster
Cherryblossomsmile · 27/07/2014 07:08

Thanks for your comments. I feel sure I'm not overreacting now.

It made dm feel really uncomfortable because it shows a Lack of respect. However I was an arsehole when I was her age so I will give her a chance to explain. think I'm going to speak to hear face to face rather than by text and just ask her what she was doing in our bedroom.

The way she reacts will tell me all I need to know. I need to be able to trust someone I leave in my house in sole charge of my children.

OP posts:
crashbandicoot · 27/07/2014 07:47

that seems reasonable cherry. good luck!

Original poster
Cherryblossomsmile · 27/07/2014 11:22

I texted her and asked her why she was in our bedroom using my stuff as I won't see her until next week.
No response but I won't expect one until late afternoon when she gets up!

OP posts:
WaitMonkey · 27/07/2014 11:31

I wouldn't use her again. I would hate someone in my bedroom.

Flipflops7 · 27/07/2014 11:40

Fire risk too if she got carried away admiring her beauty as one does at that age. Mention it to next babysitter.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 27/07/2014 11:42

Your home is not hers. Your bedroom is your private space and not to be invaded. She's got a bloody cheek. If she's been in your room and used your things you can be quite certain that she's been poking about elsewhere.

I wouldn't ask her back and would make it clear to anyone who needed to know why I'd made that decision as well.

londonrach · 27/07/2014 11:48

Yanbu. I'd text her saying it was hot and concerned something wrong with it. Don't use her again. When I babysit I only went into child's room, toilet, kitchen lounge and hallway. All other rooms I ignored. I didn't open any cupboards as they always left everything I needed, glasses and biscuits on the top of the kitchen units. No need to do anything else although I got shown where snacks were for children if they woke and first aid kit. Telephone numbers were left on top too. Therefore no need to enter bedroom...