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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel really fed up that we are not going to be having a holiday this year :(

64 replies

josben · 25/07/2014 19:56

....and everyone that I seem to talk to is just about to go away for 1 / 2 weeks to Spain / Tenerife / Devon / Tunisia / Cornwall / France...

:( No money at all - me and DH both working but 3 x Dc's and we have also (stupidly) got ourselves into Credit card debt...

I have just started doing a little cleaning job on the side in a bit to raise some £'s ... I know we are not the only ones, I just seem to know lots of friends who are flying off here there and everywhere over the 6 week hols...

OP posts:

Joysmum · 25/07/2014 19:58

You'll soon clear your debts and then that could be you. I'm betting many who go away slap it on the plastic.

BlinkAndMiss · 25/07/2014 20:10

We're in the same position, except it's not a credit card it's our car. To avoid paying a higher interest rate we have to either pay it off in full or enter into a new deal with a new car. We actually can't afford to do either but we especially can't afford a new car and the costs that will bring.

DH and I are working all summer so that we can pay it off. We haven't been on holiday since 2008. It's so depressing but we know that soon we will be debt free and able to go on holiday and have a few luxuries, nothing out of this world but we won't feel as trapped as we do now.

There are plenty of families who are in this position, but there are plenty of families who are sticking their holidays on the credit card and their heads in the sand (not an intentional pun but quite fitting!). Remember that you are working towards the bigger picture and it's very much worth it.

EarthWindFire · 25/07/2014 20:12

We are in the same positi

EarthWindFire · 25/07/2014 20:13

Sorry... Same position. Hopefully we may make it next year, but my health and having to stop work means it's a no no for now

Pinkrose1 · 25/07/2014 20:15

There are plenty of cheap ways of enjoying home and cheap days out if you google them.

You have a lovely family and healthy children, and everybody just has rows on holiday anyway!

Keep telling yourself that!

NotYouNaanBread · 25/07/2014 20:17

We're in the same boat. Would have gone camping tomorrow only I can't shake off a horrible stomach virus. We'll go some other time.

Not bothered about not going away - we have big plans for next summer, and to be honest, the idea of 2 weeks in Tenerife would stress me out anyway. I only like house swaps and self catering cottages now. 2 small children have killed hotels for me. Unless I can leave them at home? I'd do that.

meltedmonterayjack · 25/07/2014 20:17

YANBU. It's understandable to feel a bit envious but try to think ahead to where you will go when you can afford it. And you can give yourself a pat on the back for being sensible rather than paying for it by credit card and then struggling even more (which as joysmum and Blink say, is what many do, rather than waiting till they do have the cash).

And worth watching something like Slum Survivors on channel 3 to remind yourself how lucky we are here. Most people in this world couldn't ever imagine taking a day of work, never mind going on holiday. That's not to say it's wrong to wish you were going though. Just a reminder that it's not the end of the world if you can't go this year.

ContinentalKat · 25/07/2014 20:20

You're not "not having a holiday", you are having a very trendy staycation! Weather couldn't be better for it, all you have to do is make it feel like a holiday. Plenty of things to do are free, sunbathe in your garden or in the park, have a a BBQ for dinner, don't sit around and mope and watch TV all day. It will be fun!

sarahquilt · 25/07/2014 20:39

We're in the same boat just because our baby is tiny. I do long for lying on a beach a little bit but I wouldn't swap her! As long as you have family it doesn't matter where you are.

sugaryonthesurface · 25/07/2014 22:20

Same boat here,we are not having a holiday because i want to get our finances in order so instead of putting it on the plastic i am paying off the plastic because to me that is what is important for us right now and doing that puts the slate clean and we will have the disposable income to holiday next year.I do get a bit annoyed with friends saying "just put it on your card" and "but itd be nice for the kids" hmmm having it hanging over us that we owe money is stressful and also yes a holiday is nice for kids but we do so many kids activities weekly i dont feel like im doing wrong or that theyre missing out on family time and being occupied.Its fun going on day trips and it doesnt have to cost the earth.I think we are lucky to have all the nice things we have so missing a holiday isnt such a hardship when i look at it like this.

LumionaMoonsplash · 25/07/2014 22:34

We're in the same situation OP. I spent all Spring bitching and moaning how I neeeeed a holiday this year, but do you know what? I'm glad we didn't go away now. This weather is amazing we're having, it's just as good as abroad at the moment. I had a week off last week and we had a proper holiday at home, got the paddling pool out and pretended we were abroad
without the expense and annoying things about holidays: waiting in an airport, hoping the plane is on time, using different money, being hot and flustered in
as strange place with a bed that is not as good as your own.
We really enjoyed it, pretty much shut out the world and played in the sun. The all-inclusive food and drink helped

cozietoesie · 25/07/2014 22:37

We haven't had an official holiday in some years for various reasons and I think that many of our friends and family are secretly rather envious - they seem to return almost more stressed than when they left whereas we relax, enjoy local activities and food - and don't have to deal with packing, queues, airports, passports etc etc etc.

Set up some things to do (unhurriedly) and enjoy yourselves!

FourEyesGood · 25/07/2014 22:48

Same position here (no debts, just no money). When DD starts school and our years of paying nursery fees come to an end, we'll be able to save up.

Until then, when anyone asks, "Are you going anywhere nice this year?" I just smile and say "Nope!"

(But as for the smugsters who ask,"Would you like me to bring you anything back from Australia/Brazil/Italy?" - just Grrrr. Yeah, cos when I was last in Brazil, I got totally addicted to those lovely little sweets... No, hang on - that was Bradford.)

callamia · 25/07/2014 22:52

Rubbish innit?
We aren't because my husband is juggling a full time job and writing his masters dissertation - due in at end if August. Work and nursery starts for me at the beginning of Sept. I guess we could sneak a long weekend at that point, but that's our lot. Still, it's bloody hot here, so I'll get the paddling pool out.

CassCade · 25/07/2014 22:59

I have a suggestion for you : One year we really had no money and decided to holiday from home (cannot bear the term "staycation" - ugh). We had loads of free days out - took picnics and went to all fairly local places, beach, parks, visited other villages, free museums, outdoor play places; nowhere further than an hour away but all places we'd never been to before. We had one of the best August bank holiday weekends we've ever had, where we went somewhere new every day for four days but never even touched the motorway-traffic-hell at all! My DP bought all the children kites so we took those where appropriate. The only cost was picnic food (all fairly basic and prepared at home) and the fuel for the car. Try googling "free days out in ...wherever you are". And one thing as well, buy a biggish paddling pool. Worth it's weight in gold! ;)

PeppermintCream · 25/07/2014 23:02

In the same situation as you. 3 DCs trying to stay positive. In reality a couple of weeks away would be amazing. Completely sympathise.

Iownathreeinchferrari · 25/07/2014 23:12

Yes its sad but I think you need to change your outlook. You can have just as much fun on the cheap if you put some thought into it.

borrow a tent and wild camp or use your back garden
find some local streams and have a paddle and picnic
new creative activities outside or inside
treasure hunt or geocash

Bellabutterfly2014 · 25/07/2014 23:14

We can't afford a holiday either this summer, we've been trying to clear debts before, hopefully, baby comes along!!!!
Sounds very sad and pls don't laugh, but we invited some friends over with tents last weekend and we did a BBQ and a camp over so hopefully they will all invite us back to theirs too!!!!!

Iownathreeinchferrari · 25/07/2014 23:14

Yes also paddling pools and free museums or cheap summer activity sessions.

Bellabutterfly2014 · 25/07/2014 23:28

I mean one of my well off friends asked if we wanted to join them in florida!!!!!!chance would be a fine thing!!!!!!

I second the free museums and attractions, make the most of them.

TheFillyjonk · 25/07/2014 23:35

I know the feeling.

I haven't been on holiday for 3 years, apart from accompanying overexcited kids on school residentials. I just don't have the money to go on these amazing exotic adventures all my friends go on every summer and my DP suffers from several conditions which mean that holidays haven't been an option for us.

I'm not too resentful, but I've really started to dislike the awkward reactions of people who, after telling you about their holiday, ask you about yours.

Bellabutterfly2014 · 25/07/2014 23:41

Hey Fillyjonk (cool I'd btw)
I think it's about making the most of things and having quality time with friends and family.
My partner and I are far from loaded, holiday is not on the horizon but we are just thinking of lots of other fun activities instead.
Someone asked me at work and I was like, no we aren't going away this year and they looked at me gone out, and I know this particular woman will have her holiday parked on her credit card! Not for me, aiming to be debt free for the baby!!!!!

Sicaq · 25/07/2014 23:44

I know how it feels; not been away for a few years (low pay and London rents see to that)! And people always seem to ask "where" I'm going away on my hols, not "if".

I look at it as they WHEN I do get away, I will appreciate it all the more!

TheFillyjonk · 25/07/2014 23:45

Haha, that's exactly how they react Bella! Thanks, DP and I will be doing lots of free stuff and if he's feeling up to it, we'll do an overnight stay on the coast. I agree that you can have an amazing time if you make the most of it. Good for you, saving for the baby. You'll be able to have some lovely family holidays!

TheFillyjonk · 25/07/2014 23:47

Sicaq, I'm a Londoner too and you've hit the nail on the head that people EXPECT you to afford a holiday.

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