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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel really fed up that we are not going to be having a holiday this year :(

64 replies

josben · 25/07/2014 19:56

....and everyone that I seem to talk to is just about to go away for 1 / 2 weeks to Spain / Tenerife / Devon / Tunisia / Cornwall / France...

:( No money at all - me and DH both working but 3 x Dc's and we have also (stupidly) got ourselves into Credit card debt...

I have just started doing a little cleaning job on the side in a bit to raise some £'s ... I know we are not the only ones, I just seem to know lots of friends who are flying off here there and everywhere over the 6 week hols...

OP posts:
Bellabutterfly2014 · 26/07/2014 08:33

Morning Fillyjonk, my brother and his wife live and work in London, they earn a lot more than us but their rent is sky high!!!! Good thing about London tho is there is lots going on free, all year round so they always seem to do really cool stuff but take picnics and travel on the buses.

We did look at doing just afew days somewhere but now it's school holidays, not a chance with the prices but it's a really busy time at work for me so he idea of taking time off and coming back to piles of stuff fills me with dread!!!! Plus we are trying to clear debt and save.

I went for a "review" at my bank (when I say review I mean them trying to sell stuff or so I thought) and I struck gold with the chap doing my appointment. He was extremely helpful and we talked through ideas on saving money, reducing the overdraft, looking at outstanding debts and trying to pay them off and looking at which ones were more expensive interest wise, like some store cards and he even gave me general hints and tips on household budgeting which really helped.

I have decided from now on, if I haven't got THE CASH in the bank, it's not being bought until we have saved up. We went for a mosey round mothercare the other day, (I cannot believe some of the prices!!!) just to get an idea of prices and the lady said if I put it on a store card (probably about 19% apr!!!!!!!!) I could spread the cost which to me, if you are going to be buying stuff while pregnant potentially going on mat leave and returning part-time, seems like a bit of a silly idea, surely better to try to save. I am also not ruling out buying some stuff secondhand either, lots of my friends already have little ones so many they'll be able to sell me some of their things which will help us both.

Not having a holiday is not the end of the world, and as the guy at the bank said, once you have cleared everything up even if you choose to work part-time, you'll not notice the wage drop in fact, you could be better off!!!

Spottybra · 26/07/2014 08:39

Support from me here. I haven't been on holiday since 2005! Starting to feel sorry for dc as they have never been away.

We have 3 more years of paying off the remaining debt we have then holidays!

MrsD0nnaLyman · 26/07/2014 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals · 26/07/2014 08:48

Me too! The Barclaycard is calling but I'll resist!! Got a fortnight off work though so looking forward to some lazy time & a couple of days out

Bellabutterfly2014 · 26/07/2014 08:48

Morning spotty bra, I know it's tough for you ATM but think how lovely a debt free holiday will be in 3 years time. A-May-zing!!!!!!!

I am working though mine as is dp and we even have a little chart - I know, we need to get out more quite obviously!!!!!! And we have a mini finance meeting every month to work through what needs paying that month and how to get thru it all, birthdays that month and which debt to tackle next. We had quite afew dribs and drabs and now we have, between us this is, 2 loans, 2 credit cards, I have an overdraft, (he has paid his off and cancelled it and just has a basic account), a next catalogue and catalogue store card soooooo tempting, it's going tho!!!!! And one store card which next month will be paid up and cut up never to be seen again!!!!

rocketeer · 26/07/2014 08:54

We are having 2 weeks camping in Dorset which we've saved for all year and really excited. Got told by a colleague that it wasn't a proper holiday. Well and truly burst my bubble!

biscuitsandbandages · 26/07/2014 08:54

We arent going anywhere or doing anything becauase I have to stay here for cancer treatment.

They are in holiday club and im in hospital.

I would do anything for a week picnicking in the garden with the paddling pool out for the kids but that wont happen this year and there is a good chance I wont be here next if this doesnt work.

Sorry to put a downer but count your blessings and enjoy what you can have together?

Bellabutterfly2014 · 26/07/2014 08:59

Hi Rocketeer, wow, I'd love to go to Dorset and for the record, my parents used to take us there as kids and it most certainly is " a proper holiday". I hope you and your family have a lovely time and enjoy it and don't let people like that burst the bubble and try to spoil it for you. Xx

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals · 26/07/2014 09:03

You're very right biscuits. I hope you have some family time soon x

Bellabutterfly2014 · 26/07/2014 09:04

Hey Biscuitsandbandages, stay positive and strong. X

Sicaq · 26/07/2014 10:07

It looks like there are plenty of us doing the stay-at-home thing! The beaches aren't going anywhere; we can dream for a while longer and go there when we're darn well ready Thanks

KnittedJimmyChoos · 26/07/2014 10:09

Your doing the right thing op, same here CC debt and want to clear it before go away.

Can you do one night in a 70 sort of thing b and b somewhere?or camp?

KnittedJimmyChoos · 26/07/2014 10:12
  • I am also not ruling out buying some stuff secondhand either, lots of my friends already have little ones so many they'll be able to sell me some of their things which will help us both

Bella, you will find most savy parents do buy second hand, go to most good, nice car boots and you will be in a child equipment graveyard.....you can see with your own eyes the good quality or bad quality.

You can also get great stuf in charity shops, and Baby and mother markets and freecyle.

New parents, is a huge market, they work on your emotional instincts to rip you off.....don't fall prey to it. You can kit yourself out really well second hand, look at lots of different sources.

Bellabutterfly2014 · 26/07/2014 10:27

Thanks jimmy choos, I really only went to window shop!! I was amazed some prams are £500!!!!! Of course I want nice things but not bankrupting myself in the process!!!!!
My partner and I are still ttc but we have started clearing out already as we have tinned of junk and we r keeping all the money we make for baby stuff. We have said we won't buy anything until I am 12 weeks pregnant but my friend has already told me I can have her cot as she is buying her daughter a toddler bed so I guess that's a good start!!! I saw a pine set for £690 and I was like, really???? Do people pay that???? X

Deluge · 26/07/2014 10:34

Same here. Just cant justify the cost this year.

We are going camping for a few days, though, and are visiting friends on the south coast for a couple of nights.

At least the weather is good here! Just have to make the best of it.

Deluge · 26/07/2014 10:37

And forget designer prams. The 'baby' industry totally see new parents coming. We spent £900 on a clunky stupid designer travel system for our first baby. We sold it on 10 weeks in and got a lightweight secondhand buggy for £80 on Gumtree. It was a year old and in brilliant nick. Not worth going broke for stuff that your baby doesn't care about and wont remember!

Bellabutterfly2014 · 26/07/2014 10:45

I think when you are planning your first baby, it's very difficult to know what you actually need as an essential and what is a "nice to have", plus, I'm not tiny 16-18 and 5ft6 but dp is 6ft4 and a big lad so as my friend said, we aren't likely to have a tiny baby so a from birth travel system might not be the way forward. It's so hard to know what to do x x

golemmings · 26/07/2014 10:47

We got a buggy from the nct sale for £1.50

This year we're house swapping with friends so we're only paying for fuel. We've found that with day trips we still come home in the evening and look at the mountain of jobs to be done but staying in someone else's house is a real holiday.

Last time we swapped with friends in bedfordshire. We found new parks, new picnic spots and went to the zoo. Dd (then 2) had an entire houseful of new toys and books to explore and it was brilliant. Can't wait for this year!

DaisytheStrange · 26/07/2014 12:32

We've never had a proper family holiday...when I was a child holidays with my parents were so unpleasant and stressful that it's put me off for life. I think I should try to arrange something so our kids have at least one positive experience of a holiday, but I don't know where to start. This sounds a bit pathetic and weird, but I don't even know what you're supposed to do on holiday...

josben · 29/07/2014 10:58

Thanks for all your posts - some really good ideas - I am feeling more positive today and am not wallowing! :)

Biscuitsandbandages - thanks so much for your post - that really puts things in perspective - wishing you well with your treatment and to you having quality time with your family soon xxxx

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 29/07/2014 11:00

Are you in a nice area? House swaps within uk are free holidays

NotNewButNameChanged · 29/07/2014 11:09

Blimey, I'm 40 and an only child. We couldn't afford holidays. My first family holiday was when I was 14 to the Isle of Wight. It was another 4 years before we went away again, to Ireland.

I was single until I was 22 and so went without holidays for another 4 years then. Been single seven years during that time and for five of those didn't have holidays. Sometimes due to finances, sometimes due to not wanting to go away on my own.

Oddly, never ever felt bad about the fact that I didn't go on holiday when I was a child. Neither have I ever felt fed up that I couldn't go on holiday.

Sometimes it's down to outside forces, sometimes it is down to our own choices. We live within our means and if we can't afford something because we've chosen to have three kids, or got into debt, or bought a new car, well, we just have to go without and cope with it! As others have said, there's lots you can do that doesn't have to cost the earth.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 29/07/2014 11:10

Bella

Of course I want nice things but not bankrupting myself in the process

I want and have really nice things! People always comment when come round! Most of it free.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 29/07/2014 11:12

daisy same here....holidays were not fun!! although first one was at 12 for me.

sight seeing taking in new surroundings enjoying the beauty and food...

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 29/07/2014 12:20

We thought we couldn't afford a holiday this year either (haven't had one in 3 years due to job losses) but we dropped our expectations. We had originally wanted to go to a static caravan for 2 weeks, but no way could we afford that.
I then heard about Pods, they are what I would class as glamping.
They are little wooden huts, which can contain some luxuries that you don't get in a tent - beds, microwave, fridge, TV, lights (and if you can afford a bit more an en-suite shower room), though some are just the hut with no luxuries.
The great thing about these pods is that most campsites are not increasing the price for the summer breaks.
We have managed to book one for 3 nights (on a fantastic deal £75 for the stay) and the kids can't wait. They are super excited about staying in a wooden hut (age 7 & 4) and having 4 days at the beech.
Sure it is not the 2 weeks we were hoping for, but it is better than nothing, and it is time away from everything - DH will be with us for more than a few hours, and we won't be spending them running around for others. Bliss!
Maybe a short break in a pod would be an achievable break this year?

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