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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be proud my dh said something to dsis

107 replies

Happypenguin2014 · 25/07/2014 12:03

We've all been on holiday, last day today. Been lovely apart from dsis treating us like children. Not allowed a key to the caravan, not allowed out on or own for the day without her and dn.

Questioning every time we spend money etc. We've spent the week on the campsite and done nothing we wanted too.

So before we left dh said he was taking DC to spend last 2ps, and she kicked off. So dh said "sorryi forgot this was only dsis holiday"

She's told him to fuck off and to never speak to her again.!

Now had a three hour drive with them not talking at all. Dh is refusihgnto say sorry :(

OP posts:

MorphineDreams · 26/07/2014 18:28

If any

MorphineDreams · 26/07/2014 18:29

Sorry

If anyone threatened my partner like that, if anyone had the audacity to post something like that especially my sister I would tear her a new one. OP this needs to stop. Your DP is going to get worn down. What she is doing to you is having an affect on all of your family. You need to stand up for her.

It's times like this I wish I could body swap.

ChoccaDoobie · 26/07/2014 19:04

Oh dear, she is a nightmare and you need to put your foot down. Make some new friends and avoid her at least for now. She is a total cow. Your Dh went over to deliver her bag and that is how she reacted. My god, if either of my brothers talked about my DP like that (they never would) I would not speak to them again, unless they apologised sincerely to her and to me. She is walking all over you, you need to make a stand.

Whocansay · 26/07/2014 19:19

If I were your DH, I'd be wondering if you thought that a bit of free babysitting was worth more to you than your marriage.

She's nasty, but you keep letting her do these things to your family. It's up to you to do something about it.

Clutterbugsmum · 26/07/2014 19:21

Tell her that's fine because neither your husband or any of your family will be going to her house again until she learns to respect you and your family and stop behaving like a bitch. And you get a proper apology not a sorry followed by but.

What does your older sibling think of her.

Spottybra · 26/07/2014 19:23

Do we have the same sister?

I've fallen out with mine for the same dictatorial reasons. Told her her dc are grown up now and I don't have to be nice in order to see them. Either she grows up and realises she's not the centre of the world or we can just be civil at family gatherings for the rest of our lives.

Your DH was right. Some distance might do you good. Find those balls and stand up to her to.

Igggi · 26/07/2014 19:25

...and have you replied to the FB post? I think how you choose to so so will tell you a lot about how much your dh means to you.

ICanSeeTheSun · 26/07/2014 19:33

Op I know it's a bit difficult going no contact, but it seems to be the best in this situation.

Send a reply saying now that she has the bag back then from now on you do not wish to be contacted. Then block her on Facebook.

missnevermind · 26/07/2014 19:47

Send a reply saying Yoy wanted the bag. You got the bag. Get over it.
Then block her and take her at her word. No more contact.

Zucker · 26/07/2014 19:58

A big FUCK OFF would do your sister the world of good, coming from you OP.

AnotherGirlsParadise · 26/07/2014 20:00

She sounds a little narcissistic to me: super controlling, everything revolves around her, and she reacts in a way that is massively over the top when her behaviour is challenged.

You have to break the cycle. Withdraw from the relationship - she WILL act up and tantrum and stamp her feet, because she's losing control, but why the fuck should she have all the control?

rootypig · 26/07/2014 20:01

OP you do see that you have to stand up for your husband, don't you?

magoria · 26/07/2014 20:37

You need to back up your H and say something to your sister.

Don't be one of those people we read about so often on MN who allow their partner to be insulted and abused by 'family'.

Joysmum · 26/07/2014 21:06

You might not have the balls to stand up for yourself but why are you allowing your DH and DS be treated like this.

I'm sorry but you are letting them down.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/07/2014 21:09

My goodness she sounds awful. I would distance myself tbh

DoJo · 26/07/2014 22:46

What did she say to your husband when he took her bag around? Did she manage to muster up a thank you? She sounds like a twat, and you're letting someone who threatens your husband call the shots. Use this as a reminder of why you cannot have a relationship with her - your children will learn how they can expect to be treated by watching you interact with other adults, so don't bring them up to think that this is acceptable.

Sallyingforth · 27/07/2014 12:38

she has some sort of hold over me

Where are you OP?
It's time you broke that hold, before it breaks your marriage.
Your DH sounds very loyal, but no man will accept being treated that way for ever.

flyingtrue · 27/07/2014 12:52

What's more important to you OP? Letting your sister have control and having her own way or your DH and your marriage?

Because by facebooking that message your sister is sending a clear 'he will bow to me' sign and she's expecting you to just put up ad shut up. If you do you are being disloyal to your DH but your also prioritising you sister over him.

You need to really speak to soemone to find a way to assert yourself. Start off small though by blocking, defriening and distancing.

CrocsAreJustPlainUgly · 27/07/2014 13:01

I hope you replied to her telling her that you will no way stand for any time of threats to your husband! I'd be done with her

lucidlady · 27/07/2014 13:04

OP you need to grow a backbone and stand up to her - I wouldn't be surprised if there comes a point where your DH makes you choose. Her behaviour is appalling.

notapizzaeater · 27/07/2014 13:07

You need to grow up quickly and support your DH. She needs yo know that it is not ok to slag him off.

PigletJohn · 27/07/2014 13:08

have you unfriended her yet?

Or did you decide to report threat of physical violence to the police?

flyingtrue · 27/07/2014 13:09

lucidlady I think the sister is alreayd making her choose by doing this and is revelling in the fact she is getting one over the DH

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 27/07/2014 13:57

Your DH shouldn't have had to say anything to your dsis, you should have done it.

Your DH and your children are your family! If you don't start standing up for your DH then you will lose him.

I'd be really disappointed if my DH didn't stand up for me. It's time to grow a backbone OP.

IAmNotAMindReader · 27/07/2014 14:04

It's sad that you are so ground down by her that you don't see your Dh and child as proper family. Perhaps if you put them before her for once, the red mist would eventually descend over how she has treated them all.
This is one time you need each others backs. He had yours, where are you now he needs back up?

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