Husband going on holiday and leaving me alone with trouble teen

[Tanya34]

My husband is going on 3 rd holiday this year which I really don't mind . Problem is our teen daughter is in with wrong crowd drink drugs last time he was abroad she was put in hospital by one of her so called friends she was kicked unconscious and had her head stamped on was a awful time that I had to go through alone I begged husband not to go but he did anyways . Now he leaving again for a week and I'm dreading it every night is a drama drunken daughter kicks off has even hit me and smashed up my house this is not a one off it a regular thing I think he is sooooo selfish leaving me to deal with this alone again apperently he "really needs this holiday" I feel like burning his passport does anyone else think he is selfish or am I just jealous and overreacting?

Nanny I agree, it should be a united front. But sometimes in very difficult circumstances, something has to give.

However, 3 solo holidays with a single best mate is taking the mickey. A break of a couple of nights in a quiet hotel to recharge the batteries would be undestandable though. I suspect that this holiday situation is just the tip of the iceberg.

No we went last year as a family and also his friend who He can't seem to get away from dd spoilt whole holiday refusing to leave room refusing to eat u name she moaned about it where as my dh just went off with his friend everyday and had a whale of a time leaving me stuck in hotel with a twisting teen was holiday from hell for me

I would tell him that if he's going for this third week, you're going to book a 3 week holiday somewhere for yourself and ask him to provide his work diary commitments to make sure that he's going to be home every night to ensure that the house and DD are OK.

3 holidays as a single man with a single friend is too much.

Absolutely not on in my opinion at all.

Do you think your teens behaviour is partly in response to the lack of respect so obvious in your marriage? Your dh doesn't respect you so she doesn't see why she should respect either of you.

He needs to stay home and help you parent together.

No yanbu but I find any kind of " singles" holiday very odd when you are married/ long term partnership with dc.

No he went to Egypt twice and now Turkey he is British

So even on the family holiday, the single friend tagged along too?

I think your spot on there glad to know I'm not being unreasonable

So you're both struggling with a difficult teen? His solution is to keep going on holiday leaving you to cope. YANBU.
Time for you to get booking your luxury break.
Can you get help for your DD?

Yep he hangs around like a stinking bad smell

What?? Three solo holidays in one year for one partner and none for the other? Is your husband your daughter's father?

I'm not usually one to jump to conclusions on here, but him doing this repeatedly with a single friend that he knows you don't like is massively disrespectful to your feelings when the two of you aren't holidaying together.

Perhaps if he took your daughter away for some bonding time, her behaviour might improve. Telling her he is escaping from the situation she is presenting you both with and leaving her with a worried and resentful mother is going to do your family dynamic the world of good isn't it ?

None of that was a go at you btw OP, but I do think a big chat with him might be in order.

We have true she won't talk to anyone won't accept any help I'm at a complete loss as what to do

Are they having an affair?

Yes she is his child aswell not that you would think I feel like a single mother

Tanya you sound very resigned to all this.

Are there three of you in this relationship?

Or rather is actually you "D"H primary relationship regardless of sexual nature or not, with this single friend, who seems to be deliberately genderless unless I've missed something?

Sounds like you need to do a Shirley valentine and go off on a break! He is BU expecting you to deal with your daughter alone. You are married, a partnership , you made vows he should stick to them

Ha ah ha hope not :/

I'm just sick of it all I'm numb to it I think

My husband is going on 3 rd holiday this year which I really don't mind

You don't mind? I would. Agree with mistlethrush, I'd book a holiday for myself too except I'd also burn his blinking passport and probably handcuff him to DD to make sure he stays by her side while I am away! Unbelievable!

Sounds very odd. I'd go away . Better you know she is sulking in a hotel room than up to no good at home though. You don't need to stay inside with her surely.

Feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone in thinking this is all wrong his happiness seems to be priority all the time

I sat outside room most of holiday alone dh off with friend and daughter refusing to do anything

Tanya he spends his holiday with this person ( do tell us male or female?) and goes off and has fun with them when you are stuck dealing with yourDD?

At the very least he rates that relationship above the one he has with you or your DD.

When you went away together he didn't want to be together with you...

My thoughts exactly I'm so tempted to hide the passport