Priest telling boys how to pee at school?

[Downamongtherednecks]

Tween ds is at a private school, not UK. Most staff are female. There were incidents of the boys’ loos being left with pee around the lavatory bowl, so a male member of staff (priest) took the boys into the loos (in groups) to tell them that this was unacceptable and to suggest that they aim better and that they should perhaps practice more (!).

This was not discussed at all with parents.
AIBU to think this was not an acceptable thing for the school to do? It seems far too private and something surely better handled by parents. Priest has form for sexism so it is possible that may be one reason I instinctively don’t like it. DH (robustly boys’ private-school educated) says this was fine, it's a boy/male teacher thing, and he can’t see a problem with it. Happy to be told I am being biased against the sexist priest. No intention of taking it up with school btw, as dc are leaving anyway. AIBU?

If my children came to me and said that a man had taken them into the toilets and told them that they should 'perhaps practice' better urination then I'm sorry, I would be horrified.

Okay, how about if your child came to you and said that their teacher had taken the whole class into the toilets together to show them the mess they were communally making?

Context is everything.

A priest in the toilet with my son?- I don't think so.

Your son, and the rest of his class. Not your son in a cubicle alone with the priest and the door locked, ffs.

Although really, if you're that paranoid, you'd presumably not be sending your kids to a private school that had priests. Dumb/hypocritical otherwise.

koala- you are right I wouldn't send my kids to a school staffed by priests.
Nothing to do with being paranoid.

There are two parts to what happens when a boy pees and misses the toilet, Anna.

Part One is the messy peeing.
Part Two is the boy walking away from it.

Anyone can miss occasionally, or leave a drop or two on a seat.

But it takes an entitled little gobshite with no regard for his own self respect, no consideration for the next user of the can, and no thought whatsoever for the individual who will have to clean it up, to walk away and leave it there.

And I absolutely think it was for a male member of staff to do.

We had a similar problem, but the boys were in reception. We wrote a humorous note to the parents asking them to have a word with their boys at home. Bit more difficult as they were so young, but some of them appeared to be peeing up the wall behind the loo. There was an improvement .

Trouble with younger boys is that although many of them can aim, once they are in school toilets it can become a game to see who can hit the wall the highest, etc. I have lost count of the number of times I have had the cleaners moaning to me, plus it puts some children off using the toilets and that is not good for their health.

IsItFriday our toilets for older boys had a handily placed window and they used to play 'who can aim highest' and try to hit it! When the toilets were remodel it was removed.

The new primary school built near us a couple of years ago has unisex toilets, so no urinals. I wonder if that makes a difference or just leaves the poor girls to walk through / sit in the mess?

Good on the priest I say!
Both my DS would come home from school dying to use the loo. I asked them time and time again to go at school and they both said the same, that the toilets were clean first thing in the morning but they were soon gross with pee everywhere. DS1 said I don't want to be paddling about in someone else's wee. He had a point.

I think the boys that are leaving the mess aren't necessary dirty but just kids rushing and being a little thoughtless.
Taking the boys in as a group means a message gets across without any individual blame.

flipchart I agree that there is a big problem with the state of loos at school meaning that many children are unwilling to use them (and even avoid drinking enough water during the day just so that they don't need to pee). Not sure what the answer is really, although I know it is NOT the priest taking select small groups of prepubescent boys into the toilets to discuss it.

OP should get a prize for least accurate thread title.

I suppose "Male teacher had a word with boys about leaving the loos in a mess" isn't as catchy

Given some of the views on this thread, I don't honestly think that priests/male teachers doing this sort of things in pairs to protect themselves from allegation/suspicion of wrongdoing, would have any impact on the hysterical people who would then no doubt be saying stuff like they were "in it together" "getting their kicks out of it" "covering for each other" and goodness knows what else.

Let's just say no men at all in childcare/schools shall we, or maybe no toilets at schools?

Why do men/boys feel that it's OK to piss on the floor? It can hardly be difficult to piss in a toilet properly.

I can't for the life of me think why they would do it, and why as a gender it seems to be a worldwide problem - incapable of urinating in a way that is respectful of other people.

Good grief.

BeCool just to even the balance the cleaner in the reception class told me that sometimes the problem with little girls not sitting far enough back on the loo and weeing on the seat.

boys/gents loos do seem to be notorious, but TBF, I have heard gross stories on here so must be true of ladies loos with sanpro stuck on the doors and turds left on window sills in posh city offices where the well educated, well dressed and well presented work. The mind boggles.

who? why? have they no shame?

Larry that's RECEPTION - you know, 4 & 5 yo's! The majority of those girls will have nailed weeing by age 6.

Good on the priest for showing them what a filthy smelly mess they made and expected other people to clean up.

I am thinking that 'yap' meant talking, possibly an assumed Irishism. Going down to Marys for a yap, call in for a yap, just having a bit of a yap all means talking yes we have truly made our own of the aul english language.
Are the parents clogging up the carpark talking?

I used it only an hour ago, apologising to my mother cause I was busy yapping.

phantom

I don't think anyone would say that in a school setting a member of staff should be alone with a child in the toilets. But we aren't talking about alone, we are talking about being in a group. Thats the idfference

This is very interesting. I instinctively don't like it, lots of people think that IABU - I have no problem whatsoever with the boys being told to behave with respect towards the bathrooms and the custodian. But would have preferred it to be said in a classroom/assembly etc. BTW It was definitely in groups, and in the cubicle with doors open, so not any suggestion of individuals being closeted. Having read what people have said, I think my concern is similar to victrix in that it is best not to start trying to decide where the "line" is. I think the line is outside the door to the boys' (or girls') loos -- very interested that others don't think it is, since I am usually one of the more relaxed parents.

I think if it had been done in a class room the boys would have heard 'blah blah, be careful, blah blah blah'

Taking them to the scene the person, priest, teacher, cleaner,whoever is able to say' look, enough. Is enough,THIS is what I'm dealing with and people are having to clear up. It's not nice you you, other people who use the loo Or the person who cleans up! Come on lads, make an effort and aim for the middle!

Nowt wrong with that in my book.

Ii don't think adults should be in a toilet with children in a school setting- except in an emergency.

Priests being in there worries me even more.

Children in Reception classes are very often supervised in the toilets combust, especially at the beginning of the year.