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AIBU?

Priest telling boys how to pee at school?

499 replies

Downamongtherednecks · 23/07/2014 21:10

Tween ds is at a private school, not UK. Most staff are female. There were incidents of the boys’ loos being left with pee around the lavatory bowl, so a male member of staff (priest) took the boys into the loos (in groups) to tell them that this was unacceptable and to suggest that they aim better and that they should perhaps practice more (!).
This was not discussed at all with parents.
AIBU to think this was not an acceptable thing for the school to do? It seems far too private and something surely better handled by parents. Priest has form for sexism so it is possible that may be one reason I instinctively don’t like it. DH (robustly boys’ private-school educated) says this was fine, it's a boy/male teacher thing, and he can’t see a problem with it. Happy to be told I am being biased against the sexist priest. No intention of taking it up with school btw, as dc are leaving anyway. AIBU?

OP posts:

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RevoltingPeasant · 23/07/2014 21:28

And btw it is not the case that anything involving members of the clergy, young boys, and toilet matters is dodgy.

I also fail to see how the priest's sexism is relevant. He was not being sexist in this instance.

This is the kind of white noise which means people can dismiss all child safeguarding measures as PC gorn mad. There is no possible threat here, he didn't touch the boys, they were in a group, etc. YABU.

fourforksache · 23/07/2014 21:29

yabu.

Adikia · 23/07/2014 21:32

Did anyone else open this expecting the priest to have given a lecture about more than 2 shakes and its playing with yourself?

OP i see nothing wrong in showing the boys the state of the floor and telling them to learn to aim.

BettyBolognese · 23/07/2014 21:34

I'm not sure why you have a problem with it. When I was a teenager in boarding school we were all taken into the toilets to be reprimanded about disposal of sanitary products and cleanliness and how it wasn't fair on cleaners to clean up after us. I didn't find it weird at all (I would have been 13). I see this as much the same really.

I don think my parents were informed but why should they be?

Downamongtherednecks · 23/07/2014 21:37

Hmm. I think my issue is more about privacy, and intimate subjects perhaps, which is why I don't like it. I would not be happy if dd were taken into a loo and shown how to dispose of sanitary supplies in a bin either, even though obviously that is something I want her to learn. I am not accusing the priest of anything except sexism but that's separate but fully recognise that I dislike him which might be why IABU.

OP posts:

fledermaus · 23/07/2014 21:39

Would you really expect the school to call you in to talk to your child separately?

I wouldn't really consider not pissing on the floor in a public toilet an intimate subject in a private space.

PolterGoose · 23/07/2014 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsMariusPontmercy · 23/07/2014 21:42

They're just being told to be more hygienic, which I think is totally reasonable.
Agree with posts above suggesting that actually showing the boys the mess they've made has more impact than not. They're only looking at it, after all, it's not like they're being made to clean the mess themselves.

Bowlersarm · 23/07/2014 21:42

I find your attitude bizarre OP. Maybe you should start some discussions with your DC about personal hygiene.

BettyBolognese · 23/07/2014 21:44

What poltergoose said.

I think you're being a bit weird if I'm honest. Honestly it didn't do us any harm. Admittedly we were in boarding school where there is no such thing as privacy. I wasn't embarrassed by it, my friends weren't. We were all more careful in the future and more respectful of the cleaners.

hels71 · 23/07/2014 21:44

Would it make you feel any better if you knew that I have known male teachers here in the UK take groups of boys into the loo to make them actually take notice of the revolting mess and tell them to aim better or else ........and no-one complained because nothing wrong was done. If you tell the whole lot in the hall 90% will not even be listening. A small group actually being made to recognise the mess was much more effective...

WorraLiberty · 23/07/2014 21:45

Having a piss is not something that's a private and intimate subject

We all do it

They just do it on the floor and they need to stop

Nomama · 23/07/2014 21:46

Peeing for men isn't really an intimate subject though, is it?

I mean, they do it in groups, not privately, when out of the house. And some of those young boys had been doing it on the floor... so why not get them together and make it a 'lesson' rather than a telling off?

YABU. Honestly! You are letting your dislike of the man colour your perception if this issue.

BettyBolognese · 23/07/2014 21:47

And actually that's a point, boys do communal peeing anyway so privacy doesn't even come into it.

SauvignonBlanche · 23/07/2014 21:48

Can't see the problem at all.

PhaedraIsMyName · 23/07/2014 21:49

I an with the priest here

Me too (which is an odd position for me!)

I fully understand why he took them into a cubicle. Just telling them doesn't bring home the grossness. Same with the girls who apparently could not work out how to dispose of tampons and towels. I think seeing the consequences of your slovenly behaviour are important.

Downamongtherednecks · 23/07/2014 21:49

I am happy for me or dh to have personal hygiene conversations with the dc (if I could get dd out of the shower that would be nice). Ds is a bit of a soap-dodger but not terribly guilty of peeing like a puppy. Happy for school to do it, but not sure about the "in a loo" aspect.

OP posts:

annebullin · 23/07/2014 21:50

What difference does standing in a loo make if no-one was actually using the loo?

StealthPolarBear · 23/07/2014 21:50

Boys are not stupid

WorraLiberty · 23/07/2014 21:51

Was the guy supposed to draw a diagram or take a photo of the crime scene, instead of taking them and showing them?

Dontlaugh · 23/07/2014 21:51

I am from Ireland so perhaps have more sympathy for the priest aspect, given our recent and ever emerging past. Clergy alone with children has NEVER ended well in this country.
A male member of staff instructing boys how to pee doesn't seem unreasonable, although I'd have preferred some sort of notice.

Notso · 23/07/2014 21:51

I think YABU. I can't think of a better way to show them.

phantomnamechanger · 23/07/2014 21:52

we have had this at our sons primary school (where I volunteer) very recently - the boys loos stank to high heaven and you would gag if you were in the vicinity when anyone opened the door.

all these stupid peeing "games"/dares they do (apparently)

You wonder whose kids do it and assume they don't do it at home.

Anyway, the school tackled it by yes, lecturing the boys about the mess and the poor cleaners and also by getting stickers of targets/bullseyes etc installed in the urinals for them to aim at.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with the situation in the OP, or the similar one mentioned about girls being lectured about proper disposal of sanitary products

ApocalypseThen · 23/07/2014 21:54

I'm not seeing the sexism?

Downamongtherednecks · 23/07/2014 21:54

dontlaugh I am Irish too...

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