Priest telling boys how to pee at school?

[Downamongtherednecks]

Tween ds is at a private school, not UK. Most staff are female. There were incidents of the boys’ loos being left with pee around the lavatory bowl, so a male member of staff (priest) took the boys into the loos (in groups) to tell them that this was unacceptable and to suggest that they aim better and that they should perhaps practice more (!).

This was not discussed at all with parents.
AIBU to think this was not an acceptable thing for the school to do? It seems far too private and something surely better handled by parents. Priest has form for sexism so it is possible that may be one reason I instinctively don’t like it. DH (robustly boys’ private-school educated) says this was fine, it's a boy/male teacher thing, and he can’t see a problem with it. Happy to be told I am being biased against the sexist priest. No intention of taking it up with school btw, as dc are leaving anyway. AIBU?

God love you Icimol, even a suggestion of sex education in school round these 'ere parts could get your school burned down as teaching the works of Satan! It is really felt that home is the only place for sex ed, and not always then . When ds class "did" basic anatomy, they sent a note home specifically stating that sex would not be mentioned. Ds and dd have to put up with me telling them this stuff (separately), and you can imagine how much they enjoy that!

I think it's shaming to tell a kid it's 'a selfish dirty habit'.

Are teacher's taught these shaming strategies and techniques at teacher training?

And no, I'm not teaching "Jesus is your boyfriend," nor has primary age dd pledged her virginity to DH for safekeeping at a Purity Ball, as some of her friends have done

Animation in what world is pissing on the floor not a dirty shameful habit?

And why did you tell them the facts of life separately?

Yes I would be fucking ashamed that my son needed to have this conversation with someone.

You seem to have misplaced anger OP. Perhaps because you know full well that it is your little darling that is pissing all over the floor

Pissing on the floor is dirty and selfish though.

The issue here is that the children haven't been raised to respect other users of communal areas and clean up after themselves rather than the fact that teachers dared to point it out. Must be delicate wee soles to be upset by having some wee pointed out to them

'Animation in what world is pissing on the floor not a dirty shameful habit?'

So you are in favour of shaming? Why, what does it achieve?

titchy because that is considered best practice, tailored to gender and age.

I think the priest was a taking a chance taking boys into the toilets without another member of staff there....

IcanHear maybe he is, maybe he isn't peeing on the floor. He says he isn't, and I have no reason to think that he is lying, and neither does anyone else. You see, I have this weird thing about listening to my dc and respecting them, and not calling them "pissing little assholes". Got to dash I'm afraid, as have to take ds to some Scout thing (watch out for my newest AIBU later tonight, when the Scout Master looks at ds sideways!)

I haven't called anyone a 'pissing little asshole' I know this because arsehole is spelled very differently.

Perhaps on the way to scouts you could ensure that it is not him that is pissing on the floor? Then it would make everyone happy.

Animation you really are talking nonsense. It would be shaming if the teacher had singled one boy out. He didn't. He was trying to bring home to a group of culprits just exactly how unpleasant their actions are.

"But then again, I thought that safeguarding measures would have prevented this little loo-lecture from being deemed appropriate!"

OP, people who've spoken about safeguarding on this thread have generally said that a second teacher should have been present rather than that the talk shouldn't have happened where it did. Would you have been ok with that?

Oh and OP I'm just loving your username. Maybe it's just one of those English/American things but out of all the possible usernames one might have picked you hit on that one?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redneck

Abland I think many who have mentioned safe-guarding were looking at it from the point of view of protecting the teacher.

That's true, Phaedra, thanks.

Forgot my bloody phone -- really I am trying to get out the door here! Phaedra Redneck is one of those words which has been strongly reclaimed by the rural white working class. If you look up Redneck and proud you'll see it is associated with doing your own thing, loving the country, not liking the government, being good with your hands etc. Only a City Slicker would think it was an insult! My DH describes himself as a redneck wannabe. Some of my friends use the word to describe themselves (including my oft-mentioned cleaner Miss Daisy (not-really-her-name).

From your link, Phaedra did you actually read beyond the first paragraph? "Many members of the Southern community have proudly embraced the term as a self-identifier. Among those who dispute that the term is disparaging, Canadian Paul Brandt, a self-identified redneck, says that primarily the term indicates independence."

'Animation you really are talking nonsense. It would be shaming if the teacher had singled one boy out.'

Am I. It's not shaming then if it's a group?

Are there any teachers on here who agree with this practice?

Clearly not if it's a group, an individual being singled out in public yes. A group being told than peeing on the floor is disgusting, no not shameful.

The practice of peeing on the floor however IS shameful.

Yes OP. I did read the whole wiki entry. I think unless one actually is a member of that group it's probably in the same category as the n word or queer or poof-best left alone by anyone else.

...the practice of herding kids in the toilet to show them the mess, putting cornflakes in the toilet, telling them it's shameful dirty and disgusting.

Is this a strategy often used by teachers?

Well if kids do stuff that IS shameful dirty and disgusting at school then yes I hope they are told in no uncertain terms. Seriously do you not think using the floor as a toilet is dirty and disgusting? What else would you call it?

" Who knew having a cleaner is an admission of terrible, sexist parenting "

Don't be stupid. Having a cleaner is fine. Expecting your cleaner to wipe up 3 days worth pee from the floor round your loo is not fine. And bringing your son up to think that a woman (you did say your cleaner was a woman, so I'm not jumping to conclusions) is going to wipe up for him if he can't be arsed to aim his willy straight is sexist.