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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that if you want to pop in and see me you shouldn't bring a slavering hound

35 replies

JenniferJo · 23/07/2014 16:51

Disclaimer: I don't like dogs. I don't like any indoor pets. I don't like the smell, the hair or the drool. I don't hate them, I just don't want an indoor pet.

A former teaching colleague rang this morning and asked if we could have a "catch up" and could she call in for a coffee. I extended the coffee to a pot luck lunch invitation and was really looking forward to a good old natter.

Until I opened the door and saw that she'd brought her dog with her. It's big, very friendly and hairy. It walked straight in before I had chance to say anything. I felt very uncomfortable but didn't feel I could ask her to leave it outside.

By the time they'd gone there was hair all over the carpet, the furniture and me. There were drool marks where it had lain on the carpet and water all over the kitchen floor from where she'd asked me to give it a bowl of water.

We have a large secure garden and I suggested she put it outside after half an hour of licks and hairy kisses but she didn't want to. And I was "too British" to insist.

Surely she should have asked if she could bring the dog? Or is the etiquette that you just take them anyway, welcome or not?

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 23/07/2014 16:52

Oh god, I wouldn't allow someone in my house with a dog. No way.

Floralnomad · 23/07/2014 16:55

YANBU I have a dog , I love dogs but there is no way I would take my dog to someone else's house uninvited and I would not be happy with people bringing a dog to mine uninvited ( not least because my dog doesn't like other dogs)

phantomnamechanger · 23/07/2014 16:56

rude rude rude!

No way do you invite your dog along to someone else's house! Say something or it will keep on being assumed to be OK.

(I know someone who is mighty pissed off with someone who brings their dog to committee meetings at hosts house, without asking them, because its on the way to the woods and the dog can have a walk afterwards. The host of the meeting has a cat. The cat has to be evicted from its own patch! The dog is hyper as it can smell the cat! but the host is Far Too British to complain to the dog owner! Shock)

SixImpossible · 23/07/2014 16:57

The dog owner should always ask, especially if its the first time.

It's a shame that you did not feel able to tell her that the dog had to stay outside.

(Non-dog-owning animal-liker, well-behaved dogs always welcome in my house.)

calonwyn · 23/07/2014 16:58

YANBU. I have a huge dog. I love him to bits. I do not expect everyone else to love him to bits until they've got to know him and I would never ever ever take him to someone's house unless the invitation was expressly extended to him, and I'd checked that the host really and truly meant it. And even then, any flicker of bad behaviour and he'd be back in the car, with no party bag.

So no, YAdefinitely NBU.

phantomnamechanger · 23/07/2014 17:01

back in the car, with no party bag
Grin

Original poster
JenniferJo · 23/07/2014 17:01

Thanks for the reassurance. She's never brought it before so I didn't think to say anything. I will next time. She can't have missed the light hair on the dark carpet and furniture.

OP posts:
ViviPru · 23/07/2014 17:02

This is batty. My dog goes pretty much everywhere with me - except other people's houses unless I've checked in advance and am sure she will be welcome. YANBU.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll1 · 23/07/2014 17:43

I wouldn't like it because I've got a Hamster and I'd be bothered a Dog would scare it to death.

Also pet hairs everywhere would piss me off, I have enough mess here of everyone else's to tidy up.

I do like Dogs just not in my house.

PunkrockerGirl · 23/07/2014 17:46

Damn right YANBU.

Pizdets · 23/07/2014 17:48

Nope. I have a dog, would never take him to someone else's house. I probably wouldn't even ask and would assume they'd invite him if they wanted to see him. she was rude.

Teddybeau1988 · 23/07/2014 17:50

YANBU. I love dogs, I have one myself, but wouldn't take her anywhere uninvited. My DB had a BBQ last month and our auntie bought her two dogs with her. Poor SiL was less than impressed and made several comments about dog hair, muddy footprints and stolen sausages. Our aunt didnt get the hint and bought them back again this weekend just gone.

Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses · 23/07/2014 18:16

Very rude!

I have 5 dogs and live on a farm, but I DO NOT DO indoor animals - they all live outside.
If someone else brought a dog then it too would be outside.

Someone did once come round with a dog now I remember. As she was coming in I stopped her and said sorry, you know we don't do animals in the house. She asked what to do with it then, I suggested leaving it outside. She said well it'll run away. So I got her a length of rope.
She was v pissed off but didn't bring the dog again!

mollypup · 23/07/2014 18:29

YANBU but i really don't understand how some people don't like animals...

QuietTiger · 23/07/2014 18:31

You are Totally NBU. Completely rude of your former colleague.

Don't get me wrong, I love dogs - have 5, like Ifyourawizard, I live on a farm and my dogs are kept outside. My cats are house indoor/outdoor cats and we have chickens and ducks.

I hate people bringing their dogs unless it's by prior invite, because invariably it winds my dogs up in their kennels and it upsets the cats quite seriously - especially as several are very shy and timid. I also don't do dogs in the house.

The one time someone did bring their hyperactive over the top labradoodle uninvited, it caused chaos, chased my chickens and ended up crashing through our pond and then into the kitchen. I was less than polite about it. The dog never came again. Grin

Original poster
JenniferJo · 23/07/2014 18:33

Thanks, everyone. I wondered if I was being overly fussy.

OP posts:
Scuttlebutter · 23/07/2014 18:36

We have four large dogs. Though I am cheerfully besotted with them, and expect our houseguests to tolerate them, I wouldn't dream of taking them to someone else's house without consent. Fortunately, 99.9% of our friends are equally dog-besotted, but we have several family members who are uncomfortable with dogs, so we dont' take them. It's never caused any problem or friction, and I think it's the height of rudeness to bring them expecting them to be welcome. Apart from anything else, someone in the house may suffer from allergies, and can be sneezing, wheezing and using their inhaler for hours afterwards. I would not want that on my conscience.

littlewhitebag · 23/07/2014 18:39

Very rude. I love my dog but would only take her by prior arrangement.

I once was near my friends house when i had her in the car. I wanted to pop in and see her but i called her first to check it was okay to bring the dog in.

She was fine with it - even when the dog ate her cats food Blush

SignYourName · 23/07/2014 19:23

I'd never take my dog anywhere unless he was expressly and spontaneously invited, and I'd be annoyed if any visitors sprang an unexpected dog on me as mine isn't great with other dogs and we have a cat, who is fine with our dog but wouldn't be chuffed with a strange hound taking over her house (and it is her house...)

KarinMurphy · 23/07/2014 19:28

I have three large, hairy dogs and happily share my house with them but if visitors come they get shut in the kitchen and I would never take them visiting someone else's house. I even phone my Mum to check that it's convenient to bring her dog (who we adopted when they couldn't cope) for a visit!

You are definitely NBU.

Nomama · 23/07/2014 19:35

Well, you might be being overly fussy but YANBU.

No one in their right mind takes a dog to someone elses house without asking first. No one!

watchtower · 23/07/2014 19:37

YANBU!

A family member turned up (late) to my DD's party with her bloody great dog, uninvited!

I love dogs and have one myself but I've never taken her to anyone else's house!

Aeroflotgirl · 23/07/2014 19:43

Yanbu it was very rude of her not to ask beforehand. What if you if your partner or children were allergic of had a phobia.

MrsMikeDelfino · 23/07/2014 19:49

YANBU. We don't have pets, and she was damn rude to just waltz into someone's house with a dog in tow. I'd have said "sorry, but no dogs." I just wouldn't have let it happen.

icanmakeyouicecream · 23/07/2014 19:49

People arrive at other peoples houses with their pets? What the fuck?