To think there's no such thing as a low sex drive?

[Stressedoutandworriedaboutever]

There's just bad sex?

Obviously not including issues of having young kids/work making you tireder, surely if you are having good sex, you are going to want it all the time?

With my ex I barely wanted sex, and told myself it was just that I had a low sex drive. Now with my new partner I realise it was just that the sex with my ex wasn't very good.

Aibu to think that naturally low sex drives don't exist, it's just bad sex or bad relationships?

YABU. Don't be so stupid. Of course people can have a low sex drive. Just because your experience is different don't assume that's the way for everyone.

I'm not trying to be harsh.

OP has a point, sure, maybe just got a bit mixed up in what they were tying to say and how to word it.

In a bit surprised at all these comments tbh.
I said in one of my posts that there are of course lots of genuine reasons why some people have low sex drives : medication, sleep deprivation, stress, xcontraception etc etc

Why I was meaning was instances where there are no other causes for not wanting sex, you just don't feel like it. So Not including all the other reasons why you wouldn't feel like it. You just don't.

In these instances I wonder how many women don't actually have low sex drives like they are telling themselves and believe that they do, and are maybe just in a bad relationship?

Am I explaining myself any better?

But some people just don't want sex ever. There may not be any reason for it as such, and that's ok. Sex is optional, you know.

As to your main point, yes, put that way i am sure that many people (not just women) probably do miss the point a bit on why they can't bring themselves to have sex with one specific person.

The problem is:
a. your title. - I mean, surely, you know that's wrong?
b. your argument is offensive to lovely men (who are great in bed) who have wives with low sex drives.
c. your argument is offensive to lovely women (who are great in bed) who have husbands with low sex drives.
d. there's kind of an underlying assumption that all people are the same.
e. there's kind of an underlying assumption that our sex drives remain the same all our lives.

It's a shame, that you didn't approach it differently however, because I'm sure it might have struck a chord with some people.

Huffington post has article today re orgasms- men 3x as likely to have one as women in a hetero relationship but in a lesbian relationship this evens out! Food for thought. Hate how women are problematised in my view overly w low sex drive when they may just be avoiding crap sex. Obv not in ALL cases but in some. Having consistently had mind blowing sex over several years w one man the like of which i had never had and have never had since, i know i dont have a low sex drive but have generally not been that bothered w other partners because, to be blunt, it waz rather unsatisfying. I genuinely think many women are let down by their male partners/end up with someone without the chemistry.

Swift that's exactly what I've been tryin to say!! Albeit not wry well apparently...

I get where you're coming from, OP. yhink just that so nany circumstantial reasons to be off sex. Plus societal blaming of woman totally normalised. Makes people defensive!

I'd have a look at johnfarley's post for an outline of some of the issues with your post. Might help for the next time you want to start a discussion...

My partner's amazing in bed (I've never had to fake it ) but after having 2 kids and being on my feet all day I'm really not in the mood !! So yes there is such thing as low sex drive. And tbh the times I've had a very high sex drive I would've pounced on anything regardless of how good they were !!

Really? Cos i wouldnt have! V v few men attract me massively but when they do could spend while day in bed! Others if attracted but not great on bed much less bothered.