things you can/can't do in your own garden - a list

[GretchenWiener]

right
So according to many recent threads ( YES IT IS A THREAD ABOUT A FRICKEN THREAD)

you may

1. let your child scream

you may not

1. bbq

PLease add so i know

1. bbq

2 Build a climbing frame that your neighbours will be able to see

1. Let your dc swing/bounce higher than the fence/hedge
2. smoke ( unclear)
3. Perform sexual services
4. iron in your cruds
5. play music louder than a whisper
6. mow your lawn

9 Let your kids out before 9 am on a weekend or 8 on a weekday (if you really have to let them out at all) 10 let teenagers do any kind of noise ( this does not count for toddlers who are cute and thereby immune) 11. let your cat leave the garden without frisking him for filled nappy sacks of his own poo which he needs to bin himself 12. mow your lawn in teeny tiny white trunks 13. Rev any wheeled vehicle for 15 minutes in the drive whilst looking like a DFS leather sofa

Own bastarding cunting wind chimes. Bamboo or metal.

Cunts.

Excellent summary in point 13 OP.

i dont know if objects count as 'doing' something iykwim

leans back

argue the wind chimes - they just ARE surely?

Inflate a creepy Santa at Yuletide.

In fact, we may need a Christmas sub-list.

oh we cant do Xmas now, we need to wait for the wanky xmas traditions thread.

The are....really, really, REALLY annoying at 4am. Or ever. It's just woo clanking.

1. bbq

2 Build a climbing frame that your neighbours will be able to see

1. Let your dc swing/bounce higher than the fence/hedge
2. smoke ( unclear)
3. Perform sexual services
4. iron in your cruds
5. play music louder than a whisper
6. mow your lawn

9 Let your kids out before 9 am on a weekend or 8 on a weekday (if you really have to let them out at all) 10 let teenagers do any kind of noise ( this does not count for toddlers who are cute and thereby immune) 11. let your cat leave the garden without frisking him for filled nappy sacks of his own poo which he needs to bin himself 12. mow your lawn in teeny tiny white trunks 13. Rev any wheeled vehicle for 15 minutes in the drive whilst looking like a DFS leather sofa 14. have a growling dog that you allow to jump at the fence between the houses scaring my kids shitless every time

Wind chimes OR a water feature...

*they

i am liking the 'its just woo clanking' argument

Wasn't there a thread last winter about someone complaining so kids had stolen the snowman from her front garden & op wanted to call the police

No snow stealing

Have a dicky security light that goes off if a cat farts but only illuminates, in the manner of prison camp, the lounge of the house opposite.

Lol at lady in leather looking like a DFS sofa.

Spare change has seconded the motion.

They're outta here. gavel

(Although, it's your list etc etc)

Yy!

No stalag-level "security" lights.

Never have a trampoline. It just encourages children to shriek. And allows gawping brats to peer over the (very high) fence and make rude personal remarks

And I'd like to challenge the notion about noisy small children being cute. They really aren't. They are teethgrindingly awful

notes subservience approvingly

1. bbq

2 Build a climbing frame that your neighbours will be able to see

1. Let your dc swing/bounce higher than the fence/hedge
2. smoke ( unclear)
3. Perform sexual services
4. iron in your cruds
5. play music louder than a whisper
6. mow your lawn

9 Let your kids out before 9 am on a weekend or 8 on a weekday (if you really have to let them out at all) 10 let teenagers do any kind of noise ( this does not count for toddlers who are cute and thereby immune) 11. let your cat leave the garden without frisking him for filled nappy sacks of his own poo which he needs to bin himself 12. mow your lawn in teeny tiny white trunks 13. Rev any wheeled vehicle for 15 minutes in the drive whilst looking like a DFS leather sofa 14. have a growling dog that you allow to jump at the fence between the houses scaring my kids shitless every time 15 own pointless windchimes 16. have a security light rendering the whole area like a Supermax penitentiary, particularly if set off by a cat's fart

inhales sharply at the trampoline challenge

Sneak in and use the neighbour's swimming pool. There was a fantastic thread about that once.

If you are actually going to hang laundry outside , remember there is a strict curfew - if you leave it out later, it will bring the tone of your neighbourhood right down.

oh well proposed old silver

MY DCs were certainly not cute when they were noisy when they were little. I considered having them caged in a run outside but the neighbours objected.

You're being too soft, OP.