to BBQ in my own garden?

[QueenofKelsingra]

We live in a terraced house, 6ft ish fencing separating us from neighbours on each side. our garden is set lower down than the ones either side so our decking starts where theirs ends IYSWIM, so our decking areas are staggered, not all in a line. New neighbours moved in about 2 months ago.

We have a BBQ (charcoal) and unlike a lot of people, ours is not just for the odd family party. We cook lunch and dinner on it every weekend it is sunny and if DH is home in time we cook dinner during the week too through the summer.

last night we finished dinner and I rounded up the DC to go in for a bath. DH took them up and I popped back out to collect up toys. Neighbours didn't realise I had come back out and I overheard them complaining about how much we BBQ, that we are being really inconsiderate using it all the time and that if we keep it up they may have to have word with us. They must have had a visitor as they exclaimed ' they even do it during the week!' - visitor agreed that we were being inconsiderate.

TBH it never occurred to me that I shouldn't use the BBQ as often as weather allows it and I want to be prepared for the inevitable knock on the door to complain. So AIBU to BBQ as often as I like in my own back yard??

I expect yours are the latter blubirdy, 5x a week is way more than reasonable. Still, not your problem eh?

5x a week is way more than reasonable

maybe where you live it's not the norm, where I live it's par for the course.

I tolerate my neighbours garden pursuits (drinks parties in the garden, kids in the garden - sometimes with -eeeekkk- noise, telly with football on it in the garden, all the messy or noisy diy in the garden) and I do so happily, although I don't do any of these things in my garden. And they (my neighbours) tolerate my bbq.

And what's REAAAAAAAAALLLLLY strange, we all do it with a smile and a sense of grace. Weird, huh? It's called "give and take". I tolerate them, they tolerate us. I know it's not a widely understood concept in here, but you should try it sometimes, it can make life pleasant and enjoyable.

As for what constitutes reasonable, lol. The day I have to use mumsnet to work out what reasonable is, is the day I will pack myself off to a clinic in Switzerland. This place is full of highly intolerant people. Forbidding people to smoke within 100 meters of an open window/or where a child can see it/to bbq more often than once a week etc etc etc.

op ah i see...I think I couldn't conceive of setting up a whole BBQ, waiting for it to heat up (smoke, smell etc) and then only cook a handful of vegetable kebabs on it.

In my mind bothering to BBQ means a pile of meat...that's the only thing that would make all the effort worthwhile.

No you're right Tam I haven't. I have been on the receiving end of a neighbour trying to kick my door in and threatening to burn my house down and murder my children... Which is maybe why I just couldn't bring myself to get even slightly annoyed by the smell of a barbecue. Particularly if the neighbours involved are otherwise pleasant and look after my home/pets when I'm on holiday. As the OP does for her neighbours.

Some people have to live next door to genuinely unpleasant neighbours.

Aren't you worried about the amount of carceogenic meat you're eating?

It would probably annoy me to be honest and I don't mind BBQ smell. But every sunny day lunch and dinner is a bit much.

This reminds me of the supersoaker thread. No matter what anybody says, the Op is determined she is not BU!

blubirdy If no one has ever complained, then there's no reason to change anything you're doing. Perfect.

To be honest, if I were the OP, I would probably wait for an actual complaint (not overheard and perhaps misunderstood) before I did anything differently.

I would liken it to living above a chicken shop - might smell nice at first, but after a while, you'd be sick of the smell of fried chicken and it would put you off eating it ever again.

Too much of anything smell wise is really unappealing.

what's all this about bbq and meat only?

a bbq can be used in a similar way to an oven. It's not like it can just grill meat. If I wrap a baking potato in tin foil, fill it with fish and veggies, and cook it in my oven it takes a good hour and half (and makes my kitchen 2 degrees warmer!). If I do the same recipe on the bbq it takes 45 minutes (and my kitchen remains cool). My salmon in tin foil, idem ditto, is far quicker cooked on the bbq than in the oven. I don't eat more meat in the summer (bbq period) than I do in the winter, I simply can't afford to. BBQed dinners aren't per definition any healthier or unhealthier than cooking on a stove, it depends how you cook on your bbq and how you cook on your stove. When my sister dieted to lose a vast amount of weight, she bbq-ed because she could cook oil free.

Of course bluebirdy. But subjecting your neighbours to 1.5 hours of smoke in order to cook a few vegetable kebabs is a bit silly. IMHO.

That's a lot of occasions a week, for, what, 12 or 14 weeks in a row, on which to subject your neighbours to a great puther of BBQ smoke (while it first lights) and then again when the sausage fat starts dripping in.

Get a Weber with a lid.

And stop BBQing twice a day.

Ahh, the supersoaker thread. This is like the sequel!

My neighbour also BBQ's a lot and it stinks, fills the surrounding gardens with smoke and is generally unpleasant to live near.

The following article might also be interesting to those who want to BBQ regularly

Remember: it's not just the washing and their use of the garden: every Saturday and Sunday they are getting a load of smoke blowing through any bedroom window they leave open.

I think you need to compromise.

Of course bluebirdy. But subjecting your neighbours to 1.5 hours of smoke in order to cook a few vegetable kebabs is a bit silly. IMHO.

1. a vegetable kebab takes about 10 minutes. Total smoke time, incl getting the bbq up to temp and cooking.... 30 - 40 minutes max.

1. neighbours subject each other to things all the time, it's never one-way.

my neighbours "subject" me to football on the telly in the garden. I hate football. I don't particularly like telly. A game with pre and post game drinks takes about 3 hours. I enjoy seeing being "subjected" to this as their enjoyment and cheers and armchair refereeing is hilarious.

they "subject" me to their kids in the garden. Again, no hardship to me, kids are kids and they make noise sometimes. It's hardly a hardship for me.

they "subject" me to their family and friends coming over of a weekend and sitting drinking and talking in the garden till usually around 11pm till midnight (usually fairly quietly, sometimes with a bit of normal noise) most weekend nights in the summer. (even when it rains or is a bit chilly as they have a veranda and they have terrace heaters)

they "subject" me to Mr Neighbour having to do all his diy-y things in the garden as Mrs Neighbour hates the noise, sawdust, mess etc that power tools create indoors. You know what, I think she is right enough, wish mine would make all the mess and create all the mess outdoors.

they "subject" me to music coming from their i-pad they place on the lounge set table, again, normal volumes, normal music, normal behaviour,

I have never watched telly in the garden, had drinks parties in my garden, did diy in my garden, used my ipad as a music device in my garden, I don't have kids in my garden making noise.... but just because I don't do it, doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't. That's called me tolerating my neighbours. In the same way they tolerate my bbq. We have a great relationship with our neighbours. Well we don't socialise together much or anything like that, but we know we can rely on eachother, and we know we cut eachother enough slack to be able to do in our garden the things we each enjoy, although their "things" are different to ours.

Their drinks get-togethers in the garden, or their football watching/ipad music /occasional power tools/kids with a bit of noise are hardly issues I will need counselling for. Like my bbq is hardly going to leave them alerting the MH crisis team and begging for an immediate intervention. Really folks, get a grip and learn some tolerance. Your lives would be so much happier if you did.

I am a veggie but I love the smell meat roasting barbecues, whether my own or those of neighbours. Picking on the OP because of a supposedly restricted diet is absurd, there are heaps of BBQ options as she has demonstrated. DH barbecues quite a lot.
Not twice a day though.

Not unreasonable but extremely inconsiderate. They're entitled to have some BBQ stench free time and more importantly BBQ free washing

of course if I was the neighbour of someone with an annoying, garden habit, I'd be completely in my rights, and not unreasonable at all, to get a massive pile of well rotted pig shit delivered to my back garden, in order to fertilise my roses. sit there ruining their garden experience with my smells!

I think you should have a naice bit of ham and some salad for tea occasionally.

Can't imagine how you can have BBQ so much and not be bored to tears of it.

Plus, what a blinking faff every day .

If I was your neighbour , I'd think you were a bit strange. I mean that in a loving way .

blubirdy - the OP said it was 1.5 hours at a time.

I like the rotting pig shit idea

blubirdy - the OP said it was 1.5 hours at a time.

did she dear

lovely dear

but you didn't address the OP dear

you addressed me dear

it might take the OP 6 hours to make a pot of soup dear

that doesn't mean that I can't make a pot in an hour dear

so what the fuck does how long it takes the OP to make a veggie kebab on her bbq, have to do with how long it takes me to do it on mine. dear!

ndfod

What's with all the 'dears' - did I miss something?

SirChenjin, blubirdy is trying to be condescending to and dismissive of another poster, while at the same time convincing the rest of us that she is a lovely and considerate neighbour.

I kind of thought that was the case, but in the spirit of tolerance etc etc blah blah blah I was giving her the benefit of the doubt

That's the spirit SirChenjin, you can be my neighbour!