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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told this man his t shirt was offensive?

175 replies

CundtBake · 20/07/2014 21:10

I have to say in general I think slogan tees are wanky on adults.

Anyway on the train today a man was standing there with a t shirt that said something along the lines of: the daily mail - like being in a mental hospital for 20 minutes.

He caught me reading it and chuckled. I said I didn't think it was funny I thought it was offensive.

I've been sectioned myself and I'll be damned if I ever read the daily mail or share it's ridiculous views.

AIBU to think if you really feel the need to share your newspaper related views via your t shirt you should keep the mentally ill and any other vulnerable person out of it?

OP posts:
UsedtobeFeckless · 21/07/2014 12:12

Who takes 20 minutes to read the Mail? I thought their target audience had to go a lot slower than that or they get ahead of their moving fingers ... ( Misses point of thread )

ObfusKate · 21/07/2014 12:16

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aurynne · 21/07/2014 12:18

Exactly, ObfusKate.

Every single joke or funny thing is based on somebody's misfortune or disability. There are jokes about one-armed people, people who fall off a cliff, drunk people, paedophiles, murderers, people who trip and break a leg, people who accidentally kill someone, people with an accent, red-heads, silly blondes, etc etc. I am sure each and every one of us can think of an instance in which they/someone they love has been in one of these situations and it was not funny. However, most people have the necessary neurons to understand that a joke is based in an absurd situation, and is not real, nor is it intended to make fun of a REAL situation.

My best friend died in a car accident. However, if a person tells a joke where "a man is run over by a car", I will not suddenly interrupt him to say "you know what, you asshole, my best friend died in a car accident, and you have offended me, you insensitive twat!!!". Because I know that joke is not about my friend, not about making fun of people who truly die in accidents, and especially, because I would be missing the whole point of the joke and I would be proving beyond all doubt that I completely lack a sense of humour. Besides being a completely self-absorbed person who would make everything about me.

So no, the man in the T-shirt was not specifically making fun of people who have to spend time at a mental institution recovering from mental illness. He was using the notion of "a mad house" to make a joke about a newspaper.

Even having to spell this out is just ridiculous, FFS.

UncleT · 21/07/2014 12:18

It's the truth. Smile

ObfusKate · 21/07/2014 12:22

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JohnFarleysRuskin · 21/07/2014 12:23

Every single joke or funny thing is based on somebody's misfortune or disability.

That's not true! I know loads of funny things that aren't!

For me the joke wasn't offensive, but for op it was. He is going around saying the joke (by proxy) why on earth can't she say, 'that was crap.'?

dawndonnaagain · 21/07/2014 12:24

Even having to spell this out is just ridiculous, FFS.
Your justification doesn't help anyone. Yes people make all sorts of jokes about all sorts of things. In a public place, eg. a forum, a tee shirt, it is not always appropriate to do so. Perpetuating the myths of mental health is one of those occasions.
Even having to spell this out is ridiculous, FFS.

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:25

It's not funny, and it's not a valid comparison. Only if you think people in mental institutions are knowingly racist, bigoted, and sexist ....

Agree dawndonna

aurynne · 21/07/2014 12:28

He was not "perpetuating the myths of mental health". He was making a joke, and not even telling it, but having it written on his T-Shirt.

But hey, everyone has an opinion and it's equally respectable. I am just happy I surround myself with friends who can laugh at everything without feeling offended.

FruitbatAuntie · 21/07/2014 12:33

Oh dear, my ex had a t-shirt that loudly proclaimed 'MASTURBATING IS NOT A CRIME'. Urgh...

I refused to go out with him when he was wearing it, as I hated the sickened looks we got from people. He maintained it made people laugh and he'd got talking to loads of people (espec women) because they'd laughed then chatted to him about it. He threatened to wear it when we visited my parents!

He stopped wearing it when our then 4 year old asked him what masturbating was!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 21/07/2014 12:35

Your 4 year old was being unreasonable ;)

UncleT · 21/07/2014 12:35

I suppose it all comes down to the extent to which people assume that comedy influences the general population, or to what extent the population can separate joke from reality, fact from fiction, understand that there's a difference between discussing something seriously and acting on that in life, versus jokey comments, even those which are distasteful or stupid. I would like to give people at least a bit of credit on that score, so am not prepared to immediately make the connection that an obviously stupid joke equates to 'perpetuating myths' about MH.

ObfusKate · 21/07/2014 12:36

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NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:36

It was lame joke. Do people think it's funny?

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:38

I don't find it not funny because it's offensive, BTW. I just think it's lazy and doesn't trigger any sense of recognition

aurynne · 21/07/2014 12:39

I don't think it is particularly funny. But neither I think the poor guy was trying to perpetuate the myth of mental health institutions :P

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:42

Maybe not trying, but he was trying to take the piss out of the DM, and doing it in a not funny-in-a-DM-sort-of-way.

Ironic really

ObfusKate · 21/07/2014 12:43

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UncleT · 21/07/2014 12:45

It's not funny primarily because it's painfully unoriginal and bland.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 21/07/2014 12:49

If someone told me that particular "joke" (going back to the t-shirt in the OP) I would not have found it funny. I don't, in general, find "jokes" that make fun of people, or groups of people, or disabilities funny.

My sense of humour is more along the lines of "what's red & invisible?" "no tomatoes". Some might say my sense of humour is odd. I don't care what they think.

Had I seen someone wearing this particular t-shirt I would probably have thought it is was a bit twattish. I wouldn't have said anything though because commenting on strangers clothing is just not something it would occur to me to do. Freedom of speech and all that.

When DS2 was at primary school a child's father used to turn up fairly often wearing a slogan t-shirt. Usually something sweary, or with a sexual reference. One I remember being shocked by because it was alarmingly rapey in it's tone - I can't remember the exact words now. I probably should have stopped reading them TBH.

There are twats everywhere.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 21/07/2014 12:50

It's a market of one!

And the op has embarressed him from wearing it again! Job done, I reckon.

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 12:51

I think a few slogan T shirts are funny.

Many are more along the "You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps" Colin Hunt lines

TrevaronGirl · 21/07/2014 13:04

"I have to say in general I think slogan tees are wanky on adults"

Quite agree OP.

dawndonnaagain · 21/07/2014 13:04

I am just happy I surround myself with friends who can laugh at everything without feeling offended.

I am sure my daughter will be charmed to meet you and your friends when you are wearing your oh so funny Spaz tee shirts.
Hmm

ObfusKate · 21/07/2014 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.