To have told this man his t shirt was offensive?

[CundtBake]

I have to say in general I think slogan tees are wanky on adults.

Anyway on the train today a man was standing there with a t shirt that said something along the lines of: the daily mail - like being in a mental hospital for 20 minutes.

He caught me reading it and chuckled. I said I didn't think it was funny I thought it was offensive.

I've been sectioned myself and I'll be damned if I ever read the daily mail or share it's ridiculous views.

AIBU to think if you really feel the need to share your newspaper related views via your t shirt you should keep the mentally ill and any other vulnerable person out of it?

My brother has that very same t-shirt.
He also has a schizophrenic illness and spent the best part of a decade in psychiatric hospital.

I think you're overreacting.

She said its not funny, she didn't use her self appointed t.shirt police powers to have him arrested. Perfectly reasonable.

I bet he loathes himself ;)

That is to say...I don't think you're wrong to feel offended by it...but giving him a telling off was a bit much.
And he won't care.

My dad has a severe mental illness and would find that amusing.

However, if you find it offensive, then the right thing to do for you was to speak up, as long as you didn't claim to be offended on behalf of anyone who has spent time in a psychiatric hospital.

I hate when people say 'I have and I'm not offended so you shouldn't be either'. Clearly you are offended, and if speaking up has made you feel like you've done something, that's fine.

Pmsl, ploy? Rigjto then

Recently on holiday I saw a youngish man walking around with an image of Mike Tyson on his t-shirt. I found that quite offensive. I don't think you are being unreasonable.

If I saw him I think I would have nodded sagely. I have been affected by severe mental illness. I also think that people who read the DM are nutters. I'm sorry you were ill in the past OP, and I hope you are fully recovered, but it's not all about you. You don't know he didn't have a similar history.

I'd just like to point out that reading the DM is not an instant qualification for mental illness. I read a broad range of publications, mainly left, but you don't always know exactly what you're arguing about if you don't fully check out opposing or different points of view? Also, what of 'know thine enemy'?

YABU - you chose to be offended by it. It doesn't make your opinion right or give you the right to make someone feel terrible about it. The T-shirt was obviously meant to be humorous. Obviously you didn't find it funny, but not everyone has the same sense of humour and the last I heard, that wasn't a crime.

The daily mash was invented to ruffle feathers and offend. They would be laughing their tits off at this thread as a job well done

I'm disappointed in them on this one. It's not clever, it's not big and it's not funny.

YANBU.

Well done for speaking up OP.

I don't think 'it's all about me'

As I said before I don't find it offensive just because I was ill. I find it offensive because making a joke of mental illness is offensive?

I'm genuinely not an over sensitive easily offended person. But I view these kind of jokes on the same level as slightly racist jokes. They're just not funny and not ok.

I find it sad that so many people think it's ok.

It's not the biggest issue in the world I know. But it's a part of a much bigger issue. And anyway if we only ever concentrated on the biggest problem that exists everything else would go to shit.

Not sure how I 'chose' to be offended by it either

Being offended really is on you, and you choose what you get offended by. When you get offended it's really about how you feel, and making a problem about you personally. It's a self centered response that is focused solely on ourselves. It's basically saying a person is not acting how you would like them to, and you want them to act based on your way of thinking.

Are you wrong to get offended? No. But see it for what it is. You took a man's t-shirt and made it about yourself. Telling him it offended you, only benefited you and made you feel better. You didn't explain why, you didn't even talk to him to understand his view point. You saw something you didn't agree with and got upset that not everyone's values match your own.

In short, offense can only be taken. Not given.

She didn't make the man's t-shirt about herself. She found a joke about mental illness offensive because it mocks all those who suffer from mental illness. If I hear someone use the n word, which I find v offensive, is that me making it all about myself? I'm grateful to the OP. She's done her bit in pointing out that ridiculing mental illness is unacceptable. That doesn't only benefit her.

If I hear someone use the n word, which I find v offensive, is that me making it all about myself?

Yes. You are disagreeing with someone else's value and getting upset that their morals don't match yours. But you have the advantage of having the majority agree with you, so it's rare you'll be challenged on it.

Is it wrong to be offended? No. It's no more wrong to be offended than it is to be angry. But how you act is something you can control.

But proclaiming how offended you are is basically saying you can't control your emotions, so you expect other people to do it for you. Just because you were offended doesn't mean you were right.

She's done her bit in pointing out that ridiculing mental illness is unacceptable. That doesn't only benefit her.

Ok, we'll go down this path. She made a snippy remark to a man. What did this accomplish? What did she hope to accomplish?

To make a person feel bad about himself? To make herself feel better for speaking up?

She didn't have a conversation of understanding. She got angry and let a person know she was angry. That's all she accomplished.

He probably went home assuming she was a DM reader.

What a ridiculous self-centred argument. If I meet someone who is incredibly sexist and I get pissed off, that's my fault is it? The highly racist idiots in the world, they are just fine and dandy, but their targets are at fault?

Bullshit.

Regardless of the offense factor the T-shirt was crap in any case, the Daily Mail isn't written by 'nutters', everything in it is very carefully designed to fit it's demographic audience. What they write is generally misogynist and ill informed, often xenophobic too and plays to paranoia but it's all perfectly rational.

I quite like the 'I'm the one the Daily Mail warned you about' as that's actually amusing but this one is just a bit shit really. I had a friend who was sectioned and it was a very scary experience, both his illness and the subsequent treatment. I also know plenty of people who work in mental health and they are (surprise surprise) just like anyone else, just like my friend really.

Agree with nooka. Your argument is ridiculous notbatman.
Anytime someone is pulled up on unacceptable behaviour, there is a chance that they'll think twice before engaging in it again. At the very least he'll realise that his view of himself is not universally shared.
''Offence can only be given, not taken" is absurd.

What a ridiculous self-centred argument. If I meet someone who is incredibly sexist and I get pissed off, that's my fault is it? The highly racist idiots in the world, they are just fine and dandy, but their targets are at fault?

Do you control your emotions, or do your emotions control you?

Anger is a natural emotion. Shitting is a natural bodily function. You can learn to control when you shit, just like you can control when you get angry and how you wield your anger. Sometimes you'll shit your pants, and sometimes you'll lose your temper. But it's not an uncontrollable force.

Decent people take other's feelings into consideration, yes. Obviously a person being highly offensive and provocative is not someone you want to hang around with. No one is saying you need to condone their behavior. We tend to be friends with people who share our core values anyway.

I like free speech. With that comes the ability to freely offend others and be offended. To say others should only say things we agree with is childish at best, and narcissism at worst.

Anytime someone is pulled up on unacceptable behaviour, there is a chance that they'll think twice before engaging in it again.

Who are you to define what is acceptable or not?

Emotional Responsibility I know saying you are in control of your emotions is unpopular because it means taking personal responsibility, it's easier to blame others than it is to control yourself. You can control how you feel and how you react.

I don't find that particular slogan offensive, OP, because the mental hospital I was in was full of sleb gossip and ill-thought-out opinions! I read your post and thought "yeah ... daily mail ... like reading the enraged and self-excusing outflow of the psychologically disturbed".

YANBU to tell him you opinion, though, no!