To think you can never run away from debt?

[NotQuiteBelieving]

Have NC for privacy as lots of details may out me if linked with previous threads.
Basically I've been with my DP for a couple of years. I have a teenage DS and DP's children are grown up and moved out. DS lives with me at weekends. I moved in with DP a few months ago as I was in rented and it felt emotionally and financially the sensible thing to do for us.
Anyway we decided the other day to look into moving. I knew DP had had a few financial hiccups about 10 years ago (got into debt seriously, house at risk of repossession, ended with a charge being put onto the house by a loan company). Anyway when we spoke about moving, DP kind of dropped hints about credit rating not being great and there being more debts other than the ones which got charged to the house. We spoke about it and they opened up and told me that although there's also about £40k on various credit cards, it's apparently not a problem as all the companies have given up chasing, having been given the runaround for the last 5-6 years. DP never answers the landline nor answers the front door and it turns out that all the credit card companies have backed off and nothing has been heard from them for about a couple of years now. I am shocked, firstly at the level of debt that has just been ignored and secondly at the fact that DP has seemingly got away with this. Is this likely to be the case?

Am now thinking that a mortgage is not going to happen for us...no equity in house after charge from loan company, very little deposit and credit rating shot to bits. I'm employed but my salary will not be considered anywhere near enough to get a mortgage for that house. And to be honest I'm not sure I want to get financially tied to someone who can't see the seriousness of that level of debt :(

I'm having nightmares over the credit card companies coming to chase the debt up. Have they really disappeared? Has anyone got any experience of this? Sorry for the long post :(

I would leave him

He is bad with money
He is dishonest
He has no morals

DP is starting to be more open about the debts - heard them telling someone the other day not to pay bills as it'll get written off

There's been a lot of talk on this thread about what creditors can or cannot do, but for me it's a lot simpler than that ... do you really want to be involved with someone like this??

I'm afraid that the comments above don't really suggest someone with mental health issues; they suggest a view that it's somehow rather clever to avoid responsibility. Maybe it's not so much about the actual money as an attitude of mind?

Your choice of course, but it wouldn't work for me

I'm afraid that the comments above don't really suggest someone with mental health issues; they suggest a view that it's somehow rather clever to avoid responsibility. Maybe it's not so much about the actual money as an attitude of mind?

I see what you are saying, however I have worked with people that have MH issues that have also had the issues and ideas.

It is a part if the 'bury head in sand and hope it all goes away' theory when people struggle.

I did. 6k and I'm [NOT PROUD]
I was a foolish 19 year old with no family, trying to get by when a friend got a job in a bank and okayed a loan for me which I almost instantly blew on rent, bills, holidays, clothes, drink

I moved to a less well page job and asked the loan company to extend my loan so my repayments would be lower but the time I'd be paying it back would be greater, explained my situation and that I couldn't afford to live with the current repayments etc but they said no so I said sayonara and it eventually got written off. I'm definitely not proud though and my relationship with money couldn't be more different now!

There's a lot of incorrect information on here. Only a court order will allow bailiffs to take control of a debt, and bailiffs are the only ones who have the legal power to take goods. There's things they are not allowed to take, such as beds or a fridge, but their costs mount up and can, sometimes, work out as more than the debt. Collection agencies don't have the power to remove goods but will chase. They often have to collect the debt within a specific time period, 6 months I think. If there's been no response from the debtor it will be returned to the original company, who will then send it out again. This can continue for years.

It's not a good feeling to wake up to letters from collection companies, or ignoring the phone because you don't know who's on the other end. Debt happens for a lot of reasons, and a lot of people stick their head in the sand because it becomes overwhelming otherwise (I worked at the CAB for a while). The best thing your partner can do is face up to it, and go to the CAB for help. It sounds like she see's this as a bit of a joke though, so things are not going to change and will only get worse. You need to go into your future with her with your eyes open, and you need to think whether she's worth this. You'll be hiding too. You'll be the one feeling sick when the postman walks down your path or when the phone rings. It does make people feel insecure and on edge all the time, and it's a very stressful way to live, not to mention the problems getting credit. BT charge people with bad debts to get a phone installed etc, so it's also more costly. Is this how you want to live?

Wishing you all the best

After 6 years, I think 5 in Scotland, without any payment or written acknowledgement of the debt then the debt becomes 'barred' and drops off your credit file. The debt still exists and debt chasers can still write/phone asking for the money, but you can safely tell them to sod off as they can't enforce it in court (CCJ/baliffs) and nor can they black mark your credit file again.

There is so much bollocks 'information' in this thread. You really need to see paperwork for the debts and figure out when he last paid or acknowledged them.

You should try the "consumer action forum" or similar for some better advice.

If he has had no active credit at all in the last 6 years then his credit score will be very low anyway and he would need to build it up by getting a credit account and running it perfectly for a year or so.

After 6 years, I think 5 in Scotland, without any payment or written acknowledgement of the debt then the debt becomes 'barred' and drops off your credit file. The debt still exists and debt chasers can still write/phone asking for the money, but you can safely tell them to sod off as they can't enforce it in court (CCJ/baliffs) and nor can they black mark your credit file again.

This is correct.

They can also only 'default you once'. So if it gets sold/passed on then they can't 'default' you again for the same debt.

There are so many mid held assumptions about debt and what can and can't be done, which is why companies using 'fake' solicitors letters etc have got away with it for so long.

I also agree that your DP needs to join a forum. There are a few good ones out there that will help her to get to grips with it all and point her in the direction as to find out who owns what debt and how much it is.

The immediate concern is the CCJ. This could also be attracting statutory interest. She will also need to check the land registry to make sure that they haven't gone for a charging order on her house. She should have been informed if they were going to and had court dates etc, but then she should have had for the CCJ aswell...

Puzzledandpissedoff
"they suggest a view that it's somehow rather clever to avoid responsibility. Maybe it's not so much about the actual money as an attitude of mind?"

I don't think anyone thinks it is 'clever' to avoid responsibility. However a few years back the banks were lending money irresponsibly to people who realistically could never afford to pay it back.

When people find themselves in a situation of complete hopelessness some will chose to use the laws in their favour to get a 'clean start', rather than struggling to repay for the next 20 years.
Unless someone has borrowed money with the intent of never paying back being in debt isn't a crime, and the statute of limitations is there for a reason.

Once a debt has gone to a debt collection agency it has normally been 'sold' by the original creditor to the DCA at a fraction of its real value, meaning all you are doing by paying is funding these bottom feeding scumbags who make a living out of harassing people in financial hardship.

It is a part if the 'bury head in sand and hope it all goes away' theory when people struggle

Yes that's very true, but I think it was the advice to a pal "not to pay bills as it'll get written off" which changed things for me. Somehow that sounds like sheer calculation rather than a genuine inbility to deal with things

However a few years back the banks were lending money irresponsibly to people who realistically could never afford to pay it back

That's also perfectly true. However let's not forget that, back when lenders were more selective and refused loans "because we don't feel you can afford it" many applicants became very indignant, inisting that they knew what they could afford and it was nobody else's place to tell them otherwise

Obviously it's a complicated issue and circumstances can throw out even the best plans, which is why debt counselling and support is so important. That said, there's still got to be some responsibility put upon borrowers for their own choices; the alternative may be a repetition of the distressed lending disaster, which helped nobody

However a few years back the banks were lending money irresponsibly to people who realistically could never afford to pay it back

I remember going into my bank to cancel a direct debit. 20 minutes later I walked out with a loan It was not long before I was diagnosed with MS and I was, at this point, sleeping for 18 hours a day. I doubt I was in control here, I just wanted to get home and sleep. It's not always the borrower's fault.

Puzzledandpissedoff
But the consequences are not being able to get any credit for 6 years. Even struggling to get a basic bank account, mobile contract or land line, etc. Plus the stress of having letters/phone calls to ignore, the risk of getting taken to court (slim but still possible), etc.

You don't just simply think "I will stop paying now" and walk away without any hassle. I don't think anyone who has been through this process would wish to repeat it again any time soon.

Debt counselling is all very well but if someone has massive debts and no income (change of circumstances, bad health, etc) then realistically a debt management plan will just see that debt hang over their head for the next 25 years as they pay off a token £5 a month or whatever.

It is a civil legal matter, I really don't see the issue or the need to make moral judgement. The reason many of the companies choose not try and enforce the debt is because they know in many cases the original agreements were unsound or unfair, in many cases they don't even have the paperwork and as a result they have little chance of winning in court.

If you seriously want a relationship that lasts with this man he has to face up to his past. It may not all have been his fault but his name is on them. If he will take responsibility he should get himself to a proper money advice advice - local authroity or citizens advice- and get actual proper legal advice about what his obligations are, what he needs to do and how to get it all sorted out. He will need to take all paperwork related to each debt with him.

If he won't, I would walk away, hard as it is

You don't and can't trust this person. A person who would behave like this is in no way worth the lifetime of doubt, hassle and poverty they bring with them.
Protect yourself and your child.

Btw it's easy to run up £40k in credit card debt if you only repay the minimum(or zero) each money and get charged 29% interest. Likewise payday loans. Lenders are not always crystal clear in their literature and some people don't understand the terms. They don't need to be the gobsmacking my huge percentages charged by the dodgy companies. High street banks charge lots too and it all rolls up. It's why the DP needs good advice from a professional. It does sound like the house may be lost though

I don't think anyone has said this yet, apologies if I am wrong, but the only way that you will become financially linked to your dp is if you get a joint bank account. You can live with her, marry her, have children with her and it won't effect your credit score but if you get a joint bank account it will. So if you have done this please close it and contact experian to get that association removed from your file or you can kiss your credit rating goodbye too. Obviously a mortgage is out of the question so you don't have to worry about that linking you.

Only you can decide whether the relationship is worth pursuing, debt can happen and wouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker for me but not being open about it would. You need to know exactly what you are getting YOURSELF into and how can you do that if she is not telling you the whole story. Also I wouldn't believe that it wouldn't happen again if she wasn't holding her hands up and being 100% remorseful about it all, and that would be a deal breaker.

I agree there is an awful lot of incorrect information on this thread so please do go to the cab or speak to an official debt helpline