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Original poster

To think you can never run away from debt?

141 replies

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 20:42

Have NC for privacy as lots of details may out me if linked with previous threads.
Basically I've been with my DP for a couple of years. I have a teenage DS and DP's children are grown up and moved out. DS lives with me at weekends. I moved in with DP a few months ago as I was in rented and it felt emotionally and financially the sensible thing to do for us.
Anyway we decided the other day to look into moving. I knew DP had had a few financial hiccups about 10 years ago (got into debt seriously, house at risk of repossession, ended with a charge being put onto the house by a loan company). Anyway when we spoke about moving, DP kind of dropped hints about credit rating not being great and there being more debts other than the ones which got charged to the house. We spoke about it and they opened up and told me that although there's also about £40k on various credit cards, it's apparently not a problem as all the companies have given up chasing, having been given the runaround for the last 5-6 years. DP never answers the landline nor answers the front door and it turns out that all the credit card companies have backed off and nothing has been heard from them for about a couple of years now. I am shocked, firstly at the level of debt that has just been ignored and secondly at the fact that DP has seemingly got away with this. Is this likely to be the case?

Am now thinking that a mortgage is not going to happen for us...no equity in house after charge from loan company, very little deposit and credit rating shot to bits. I'm employed but my salary will not be considered anywhere near enough to get a mortgage for that house. And to be honest I'm not sure I want to get financially tied to someone who can't see the seriousness of that level of debt :(

I'm having nightmares over the credit card companies coming to chase the debt up. Have they really disappeared? Has anyone got any experience of this? Sorry for the long post :(

OP posts:
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 20/07/2014 21:04

People are wrong about them being written off.
If the company makes no attempt to chase the debt in 6 years then they can no longer pursue it but it doesn't work that way if the debtor refuses to acknowledge it. As long as the company can evidence that they have attempted to chase the debtor (even if that's to a defunct address) they can chase it til kingdom come.

Shakey1500 · 20/07/2014 21:05

It really does give me rage that people can borrow, spend, borrow some more, spend some more. Then have the entire debt wiped away by just choosing not to pay, lying low. I'm not talking about people who have genuinely struggled and have borrowed to make ends meet then fallen on even harder times through no fault of their own.

I get texts all the time "New government legislation means you can write off 70% of your debts!!!"

Since when did this seem to become acceptable???

Original poster
NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 21:07

Shakey having spoken to DP they didn't even go for something like that as it would've meant the debt was getting acknowledged and it would have meant the cc companies kept chasing :(

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 21:08

I just don't understand why the CC companies have given up, DP must have been (and still is) so easy to trace. No change in address, phone number in over 30 years!

OP posts:
Namechangearoonie123 · 20/07/2014 21:10

They can chase it (but not harass)

But it's not legally enforceable meaning that you can ignore all correspondence

Loletta · 20/07/2014 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

londonrach · 20/07/2014 21:11

Op what letters are coming, is he hiding them. Anyone in cars watching you. Please get your dp to talk to cab. He and you need advice...

Loletta · 20/07/2014 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CanaryYellow · 20/07/2014 21:12

Why on earth would you want to tie yourself up financially with someone who thinks it's acceptable to run up 40k of debt and then swerve repaying it?

I wouldn't even lend this bloke a tenner, never mind buy a house with him.

magoria · 20/07/2014 21:13

I would think long and hard about staying in this property with this man.

His attitude towards money he owes says a massive amount about him to me.

If you do stay with him avoid any sort of joint finances and protect yourself as much as possible.

Namechangearoonie123 · 20/07/2014 21:15

Loletta

That's not true. It's only not paid and not acknowledged by letter - nothing to do with whether the creditor gives up.

So if he hasn't paid or sent letters then yes, it becomes legally unenforceable

Appletini · 20/07/2014 21:16

Wow. His head is firmly in the sand. Do you really want to live in fear of answering the door?

In your case I would offer two options.

  1. He goes to a debt help organisation like Payplan or StepChange and sorts this out properly.
  2. You end the relationship.

I suggest both. His attitude stinks.

Shakey1500 · 20/07/2014 21:17

Something doesn't seen right (not saying anything you are saying is false!) but you're right. It is strange that he's lived at the same address and it's not being chased as such. Is there more to it?? What, I have no idea. But it would make more sense if he'd moved around a bit, left a cold trail etc.

Have you seen any paperwork recently?

ThatWasNice · 20/07/2014 21:20

I would want to find out exactly what the situation is. Your DP has been vague and evasive. I think you should ask to have a 'meeting' with him to establish the actual facts. I'd want to see as much physical evidence as possible. If he can't be honest with you now then there is not much hope for the future. You then contact one of the free debt management agencies, CAB or do you own research and find out what the CC can do about the debts.

Personally, I would think very hard about whether I wanted to stay with him.

Loletta · 20/07/2014 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 21:21

No, but there is apparently no recent paperwork to do with the cards because the companies haven't been in touch. Could it be the case that they looked really deeply into DP's finances and realised that there literally was no way of getting any money back as everything was at it's limit? And if so, why didn't they force a bankruptcy? Or again if the debt was spread around then would it have even been worth any one of those companies enforcing a bankruptcy? I just don't understand it :(

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 20/07/2014 21:24

I don't understand it either and would suggest there's more than meets the eye.

No, they won't have looked deeply into his finances and decided it wasn't worth it. They pursue.

I would absolutely be telling him to put all his cards on the table (no pun intended)

londonrach · 20/07/2014 21:24

Op. I think he might be getting more letters than saying. Who home when the postman calls. Which address where the cards registered to.

ThatWasNice · 20/07/2014 21:25

HERE IS SOME INFO from StepChange about statue barred debts.

Stepchange are a charity that provides free help on managing debts.

Downtheroadfirstonleft · 20/07/2014 21:26

Have a look on the Money Saving Expert (debt free wannabe) site/ section for lots of good advice.

I am sorry to say it, but when this sort of post appears on MSE, it usually turns out that the debtor has been less than honest about the situation.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 20/07/2014 21:26

I have been advised recently (in a professional capacity, not for myself) by accredited financial advisors that the creditor themselves must not have made any effort to pursue the debt for 6 years in order for it to be up enforceable, the idea that you can just ignore letters for 6 years is a myth.

cloutiedumpling · 20/07/2014 21:26

If there's a charge on the house they are probably just sitting back until he eventually sells it. Is there just one charge, or has more than one lender taken this step?

Namechangearoonie123 · 20/07/2014 21:26

The reasons they won't force a bankruptcy is that it costs money and if there's no money for him to give them then it's pointless.

If it's 8 credit cards with 5k each on it's under the limit for most lenders to bother even taking out ccj's.

It's totally normal for them to stop chasing at such low amounts and not even bother pursuing ccj's.

A lot of credit cars companies don't really care about such low amounts - I know that Lloyds only chase credit card debt all the way to a court judgement if it's over 15k.

littleblackno · 20/07/2014 21:26

Are you really sure they haven't been chasing him? Or has he been ignoring it? If he's in such denial as you say he is and not taking is seriously then don't be surprised if you find out that they have been writing and he's been ignoring.
Do not have anything linked with him financially would be my advice.

lucidlady · 20/07/2014 21:27

This is a good link which explains the position: www.hmrc.gov.uk/manuals/ihtmanual/ihtm28384.htm

Are you sure he hasn't gone bankrupt or something, and is trying to throw you off the scent?

I don't quite understand how his debts have stopped him maintaining his property if he's not actually been paying them - that sounds more like a situation in which the Official Receiver (bankruptcy official) might have been taking money from his pay.