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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you can never run away from debt?

141 replies

NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 20:42

Have NC for privacy as lots of details may out me if linked with previous threads.
Basically I've been with my DP for a couple of years. I have a teenage DS and DP's children are grown up and moved out. DS lives with me at weekends. I moved in with DP a few months ago as I was in rented and it felt emotionally and financially the sensible thing to do for us.
Anyway we decided the other day to look into moving. I knew DP had had a few financial hiccups about 10 years ago (got into debt seriously, house at risk of repossession, ended with a charge being put onto the house by a loan company). Anyway when we spoke about moving, DP kind of dropped hints about credit rating not being great and there being more debts other than the ones which got charged to the house. We spoke about it and they opened up and told me that although there's also about £40k on various credit cards, it's apparently not a problem as all the companies have given up chasing, having been given the runaround for the last 5-6 years. DP never answers the landline nor answers the front door and it turns out that all the credit card companies have backed off and nothing has been heard from them for about a couple of years now. I am shocked, firstly at the level of debt that has just been ignored and secondly at the fact that DP has seemingly got away with this. Is this likely to be the case?

Am now thinking that a mortgage is not going to happen for us...no equity in house after charge from loan company, very little deposit and credit rating shot to bits. I'm employed but my salary will not be considered anywhere near enough to get a mortgage for that house. And to be honest I'm not sure I want to get financially tied to someone who can't see the seriousness of that level of debt :(

I'm having nightmares over the credit card companies coming to chase the debt up. Have they really disappeared? Has anyone got any experience of this? Sorry for the long post :(

OP posts:
EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 21:52

Does his ex pay anything towards the debt? If she helped spend it then surely she has a moral responsibility too.

EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 21:53

Debt collectors don't add charges or interest. Bailiffs do. They are two different things.

Debt collection agencies do. Charges for sending letters, interest etc.

LadySybilLikesCake · 20/07/2014 21:53

Debt collectors buy the debt for a fraction of what it originally was, then chase the debtor for the full amount. Bailiff's charge fees.

Original poster
NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 21:53

Her what worries me too is DP is starting to be more open about the debts - heard them telling someone the other day not to pay bills as it'll get written off...could someone report DP for this kind of thing? Like with benefit fraud as I guess this is a kind of fraud, getting "free" money for nothing...

OP posts:
BetterTogether75 · 20/07/2014 21:54

Slight correction to my previous post - as of 01.10.2012 the creditor can apply for a charging order regardless of whether debtor is paying as directed by court or not.

Original poster
NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 21:57

Sorry LadySybil, don't understand your post at 21:51, being dense again!

No earth, ex pays nothing. All debts in DP's name so no legal obligation to do so :(

OP posts:
BetterTogether75 · 20/07/2014 21:58

OP, it is only fraud if debtor took out agreements without intending to ever repay them and/or provided false information on the application. Taking out credit in good faith, then being unable to repay it due to circumstances changing, then saying 'fuck it, this debt is over 6 years old and they can't sue me for the money so I'm not paying' is something different.

Original poster
NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 21:59

Ok Better I can understand that. So no-one has any way of "reminding" the cc companies that they'd forgotten DP?

OP posts:
EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 22:02

Debt collection agencies buy the debt from the original creditor for a minimal amount and them chase the full amount themselves.

They do, like the original creditors do, add charges etc. often they will settle for less than the original amount as they will still have made a 'profit' compared with what they have bought it for.

There is a process that they should go through before hey sell it on though.

BetterTogether75 · 20/07/2014 22:03

Creditors won't deal with mad people3rd parties who can't pass their data protection checks Smile They don't need anyone to 'remind' them anyway, they have their own records and periodic updates from the credit reference agencies which they pay for, e.g. when someone moves house and goes on electoral register at new address, opens new bank a/c, takes out new utility contract etc.

Loletta · 20/07/2014 22:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadySybilLikesCake · 20/07/2014 22:08

What I mean is (sorry), if I took out a credit card 7 years ago and maxed it out, then found myself unable to pay because of illness or whatnot, I could have paid it once I recovered, so a year later. Why has he not done this? Why bury your head in the sand for so long and make no attempt at all to repay?

My credit is shocking by the way. I became unwell and had to leave the (paid) course I was on, so my income dropped. I'm now working and repaying the debts I built up when I was unwell. It's taken time, but I'm almost clear.

See what I mean?

Original poster
NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 22:10

So, better if DP were to apply for a mortgage (!) and therefore go through the credit checks relating to that, would that initiate some kind of update by the cc company? Sorry to keep asking all these questions, I must seem really thick to you :(

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteBelieving · 20/07/2014 22:11

Yeah I get it now LadySybil, and the answer is I have no idea :( at a guess I think it maybe was ignored because of panicking about it and not knowing what to do but as the years have gone on I think a bit of bravado about it has crept in. I hate myself for saying that last bit but I think it's true :(

OP posts:
BetterTogether75 · 20/07/2014 22:17

Do ask OP, that's fine! Yes, credit applications including mortgages may possibly trigger updates to the creditors, e.g. there is a service called Gone Away Information Network (GAIN) that provides updates regarding debtors that creditors have lost track of. Depends on the creditor and what services they subscribe to, also it's a commercial decision for them as to how long and how often they will keep chasing a debt. Debts are virtually never written off voluntarily by creditors, but if no payment and no payment written acknowledgment by debtor and no CCJ for 6 yrs, debt becomes unenforcable via the courts.

EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 22:20

They are not allowed to charge fees for letters or for chasing Earth.

What they should do and do do can be two different things. Some of which are coming to light with the 'fake' solicitors letters (which did have charges on them)

Sallyingforth · 20/07/2014 22:30

OP It seems to me there are two things you need to worry about with this guy:

  1. Will someone come out of the woodwork with a claim against him (and to try it on against you as his partner, even if you have no legal responsibility for his debts)
  2. Is he going to repeat his former financial irresponsibility one he has found some sort of security with you?
I'd find someone else.
ThatWasNice · 20/07/2014 23:00

OP, I'm worried about the accuracy of some of the info you are getting on here. There are some wonderfully knowledgable MN'ers but it's hard to tell who is who on a thread like this Confused

I would contact STEPCHANGE They offer free information about debts. You will be able to trust what they say with 100% accuracy.

You need to make sure you know exactly what you are dealing with.

It's a bit scarey that he didn't let you look at his credit report Confused
I think you can have CCJs recorded against and not know about it.

Does your DP get some mail at his house? If not is it possible he is having it redirected?

EarthWindFire · 20/07/2014 23:04

I think you can have CCJs recorded against and not know about it.

Only if for whatever reason you haven't seen court papers so have a CCJ by default.

They can't just issue a CCJ themselves without court involvement.

ThatWasNice · 20/07/2014 23:07

Earth. That's right, a ccj is a judgement issued by a county court.

GodDamnBatman · 21/07/2014 06:06

40k in CREDIT CARD debt?? How the hell did he manage that?

I can understand a bank loan, or a mortgage, or even a student loan. But fucking credit cards??

He sounds incredibly irresponsible. I'm paying off a 5k debt for mine, and I will not be getting a new one until it's paid in full.

SybilRamkin · 21/07/2014 08:36

OP, your DP sounds like she's burying her head in the sand, these debts WILL come back to haunt her. Any there's no chance of you getting a mortgage with her if her credit rating is so appalling, sorry.

She will eventually have to sell her property to pay off the loans if it goes to court unless she gets a repayment agreement - tell her to go to CAB as soon as possible to see about making a deal with the lenders about repayments, otherwise she risks losing her home when they catch up with her.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you Sad

Ragwort · 21/07/2014 09:00

Agree with Sybil - regardless of whether or not these debts will be 'written off' do you really want to be with someone who has such an irresponsible attitude towards money

Credit card fraud/no intention to pay debts is stealing - just as taking an old lady's purse out of her handbag is Sad. It almost seems 'acceptable' to build up credit card debts with no intention to pay them off as if it is some faceless organisation that will eventually write the money off.

Do you really want to share your life with someone with that sort of attitude?

Appletini · 21/07/2014 14:29

"Please note they can still chase, still send ridiculously letters from fake solicitors, still send pretend 'this is a court judgement' document, still send increasingly hysterical letters, visit your house, make phone calls that are very harassing."

Actually they are supposed to adhere to OFT fair debt collection practices.

OP, if he thinks he's got away with it and it won't be chased... why won't he open the door?

Just saying.

YouAreMyFavouriteWasteOfTime · 21/07/2014 14:52

even if the debts are written off, he will have problem accessing further debt and possibly bank accounts, utilites etc. etc.

the hassle wont be going away.