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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be concerned that 2yo DD is now on 81st centile for BMI.

45 replies

Fedupofplaystation · 20/07/2014 19:32

81st centile is still in the range for 'healthy weight.' Apparently 84th and above is 'overweight'.

DD is 2 years 8 months and a few months ago was on 59th centile for BMI. This is based on me measuring her at home (she enjoys to 'play' with scales & have her height measured, she is not aware what the information means) and using this calculator: www.webmd.com/parenting/raising-fit-kids/weight/bmi/bmi-calculator

DH and I are naturally short (5ft9 & 5ft 3.5 respectively), so I would not expect DD to be naturally tall.

I'm very concerned about her becoming overweight. She is looked after by relatives for between 2.5 and 4 days per week depending on my working pattern and I know that they do not feed her particularly healthily. I try to compensate when she's at home with no treats etc.

Am I right to be worried about her BMI at this stage?

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 20/07/2014 19:37

have you tried putting her details in the nhs calculator and see what that says? I dont know why you are worrying especially as she is coming out as in the healthy weight range.

headoverheels · 20/07/2014 19:41

I wouldn't be too worried but I would keep an eye on it. They do fluctuate a bit (eg sometimes they gain weight and then the height catches up) so you may find it's fine again in a few months.

The lack of healthy food at relatives would bother me. Can you talk to them?

ContinentalKat · 20/07/2014 19:41

Has she grown since she was on the 59th percentile, or just put on weight?
A lot of children follow a pattern of getting podgy and the shooting up.

Original poster
Fedupofplaystation · 20/07/2014 19:43

NHS calculator puts her on 82nd centile for BMI.

OP posts:
HalfEatenPizza · 20/07/2014 19:46

I wouldn't worry about her weight per se at this stage, but I would be extremely worried that your relatives are not feeding her properly. This could turn into a disaster. (I know, because this is what happened to my daughter when after school childminder fed her all sorts + in combination with 'healthy' school dinners).

Original poster
Fedupofplaystation · 20/07/2014 19:47

I have tried talking to relatives, but as they provide much appreciated free childcare and are fantastic in every other way, I don't really feel I can labour the point when I've already mentioned it.

A typical day with them may be:

Weetabix
Icelolly/Mini milk
Greggs pasty
Greggs cupcake
Fig rolls
Heinz Peppa Pig spaghetti or cooked dinner
Various sweets/biscuits
Frijj choclate milk
Fruit Shoots

OP posts:
Jinty64 · 20/07/2014 19:47

Eating unhealthy food for four days a week would worry me. Could you speak to them about it or have some other childcare a couple of days a week. I don't think being 81st centile it's anything to worry about at the moment but it is worth keeping an eye on it.

TippiShagpile · 20/07/2014 19:48

Gosh OP - that's a really shitty diet. Hmm

Jinty64 · 20/07/2014 19:49

I would rather pay for childcare even if it meant I went without other things than have my child eat that diet.

ziggiestardust · 20/07/2014 19:50

Has she always been around this percentile?

DS has always been on the small side, and he eats like a little horse. It is healthy stuff mostly though, and I try to limit heavy carbs; so not a constant round of toast/sandwiches/pasta etc. It definitely helps!

ChoccaDoobie · 20/07/2014 19:53

I was going to say don't worry but now that you have posted details of that diet I actually would be concerned enough to do something about it. That is not a good diet at all. I would say you need make changes.

ziggiestardust · 20/07/2014 19:54

God yes, that's awful.

I know it's hard, I really do and I detest paying for childcare! But I can guarantee a good, healthy diet. Some allow you to provide a packed lunch for a lower fee though, so that might be worth looking into?

I know it completely sucks that you can't rely on family; but if your DD carries on being fed like this, she will end up overweight with all the problems that brings. It's so hard for an overweight child to lose weight; it can cause all sorts of food issues later on.

I feel for you.

Original poster
Fedupofplaystation · 20/07/2014 19:55

Sorry, shouldn't drip feed:

That is the diet for one of the days (relative number one)
Relative number two has her the other days. On those days she'd have:

-weetabix/toast
-'Dinner' i.e meat/mash/veg/gravy
-chocolate biscuit
-Small sandwich (likely cheese or ham)
-Mini cheddars
-Chocolate bicuit
-Fromage frais
-Up to three extra stong mints Hmm

OP posts:
micah · 20/07/2014 20:00

I actually put my dd's in nursery rather than take up mil on her offer to care for them while I worked.

Yes it cost financially. But not as much as the cost of a diet of haribo and fizzy sweets, and days watching dvd's or being dragged to the shops. It likely would have cost mine and mil's relationship too!

I'd rather pay.

Does she do any exercise? Could take her swimming, or to baby dance, baby gymnastics? If you can't find alternative childcare, get them to take her...

Original poster
Fedupofplaystation · 20/07/2014 20:00

It's usually 2.5 days per week, but can be up to 4 days. We also visit these relatives regularly.

DD has very close bonds with all of them, they do crafts, go to the woods/ park/ river, go swimming, sing and many other great things.

We're very lucky to have them in every way other then the poor diet.

The food causes me a lot of stress but the last time I brought it up it ended up with me in tears and some unhappy relatives. So since then I've tried to compensate by feeding very healthily at home, which is a little sad as sometimes I'd love to get her an ice cream at the park for example, but don't feel like I can.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 20/07/2014 20:03

I agree with others, the numbers alone aren't necessarily an issue. The numbers with the diet is.

Can you send her food with her and request she is fed nothing else? Perhaps if needed say she has seen the HV/dr who raised concerns and wants you to monitor closely.

If you can't trust them to stick to that then I would look into alternative childcare

TeWiSavesTheDay · 20/07/2014 20:04

Well she's getting no fruit or veg and very little protein when with them, and she's with them for a significant amount of time.

So while she's not overweight now the likelihood is she may will be in the future and is missing out on vital nutrients.

Why do they feed her this way? Is it ignorance? Or is convenience food easier for them to manage? Both of those I think you could address, perhaps by sending her with pack ups including snack pots?

If it's a being with me is a treat culture I think you'll have to end up looking for alternative childcare. Your DDs health isn't worth it.

drudgetrudy · 20/07/2014 20:07

Would they be offended if you said that you are concerned about her diet and sent her a healthy packed lunch and asked them to go easy on the chocolate biscuits?

TeWiSavesTheDay · 20/07/2014 20:10

Xpost - relative #2 doesn't sound quite so bad.

But if, for eg, you are dealing with MIL and DM both doing childcare you might have to say neither can have her because you are really excited about DD going to x nursery/childminder and bonding with children she'll be going to school with to try and avoid offence!

TippiShagpile · 20/07/2014 20:12

She doesn't need chocolate biscuits, crisps and sweets. No one does.

She'd be better off with a bit of cheese if she's genuinely hungry but I doubt she is.

You have to knock this on the head. Eating behaviours are established very early on and this doesn't look good at all. Sorry OP.

queenofthemountain · 20/07/2014 20:12

Relative 2 doesn't sound so bad, but pehaps you should think about sending a frozen/chilled meal and a packed lunch.Just save a portion of your meals for her to take to the relative.It would be quite a thoughtful thing to do anywy,because they are doing you a big favour without having to think about catering arrangements.

Original poster
Fedupofplaystation · 20/07/2014 20:15

I actually think it's a mixture of ignorance, convenience and wanting to treat her TeWiSavesTheDay.

Also, DD is a little fussy and it does take effort to make healthy things she'll eat. I make a lot of veg chilli/soup/cottage pie/omelette etc. which she'll eat, but occasionally requires persuasion.

Relative one takes her out all day and there is very little in the way of pack-up food that DD will eat so they get lunch from Greggs.

Relative two would fiercely defend that they don't feed her any 'rubbish.' They truly believe this. They would be greatly offended if I started providing all meals, although I can get away with sending the odd meal by saying it's leftovers.

Relative two is better at giving proper meals with veg for the main meal, they just give lots of added treats.

OP posts:
AnAirOfHope82 · 20/07/2014 20:21

In the milkshake there is like 9 spoonfulls of sugar alone, even for adults its a big no no. I would say its ban and she cant have it and give a friut basket ti each relativer each week and a healthy snack box from graze.com and say the hv has concerns about her diet, teeth and weight.

MaccaPaccaismyNemesis · 20/07/2014 20:21

Could you send a packed lunch, and explain she is overweight and needs to have a more balanced diet. Blame the GP if necessary.