Oboes are superior to clarinets in every way.

[FatalCabbage]

When I am global dictator clarinet will simply be phased out with a bonfire.

Why anyone would choose to listen to the nasal whine of a clarinet instead of the heady song of an oboe is completely beyond me. Remove the clarinet section from an orchestra and nobody would notice or care. Remove the oboe and the joy would follow. And nobody would be able to tune up.

Which leads me to my other bugbear... Clarinets never ever sound properly tuned, and they slip even flatter within minutes of tuning.

They sound nasty, their reeds are weird and slimy, and they are frumpy. Mozart can FTFO too. Clarinet concerto = hell on earth.

Who's with me? FWIW trombones are stupid but sound bold, and saxophones at least have the cachet of jazz cool. Clarinets should have gone out of fashion decades ago.

I'm with you, but student oboists will be confined to sound-proofed rooms in shelters far below the ground in the early stages. A badly-played oboe can sound a little like bagpipes. Though at least it doesn't squeak.

They could have a year in a bunker with beginner violinists too ::winces::

Yanbu. I have an oboe but I can only get quacks out of it as yet. Love hearing an oboe played well. They seem to be disappearing though.

Dd plays the clarinet, so I have to disagree with you.
but YANBU, clarinets are awful

Well I don't think for one minute that the Waltz of the Flowers would sound good with an oboe. The clarinet rocks that piece. Just as the oboe rocks swan lake and a clarinet just wouldn't cut it.

So they both get to stay!

Off out on school run. Clarinets remain high on the bonfire list.

Dd plays clarinet beautifully I'll have you know! Better than any old oboe player any day at least now she can play it that is

Disagree completely, rebellion to your dictatorship will start in my house. Between my 3 DC I have 2 trombone players, 1 clarinet player and 1 bari/alto sax player. (Also tuba, cello and piano).

An well-played oboe is lovely, but agree that beginners will need to be locked in a sound-proofed room.

Also, the cost of oboes and double reeds!!

I know this is not AIBU, but YABU!

Yanbu. Hideous instrument (professional musician here) and I'm married to someone who has grade 8 clarinet at 9yrs old.... It's something to do with the saw tooth sound waves apparently, that's why lots of people don't like it;

Well I think we can all agree that recorders sound like squeaky farts from the arse of Satan and should go first.

Oh! it is AIBU, so YABU again.

Yes, all recorders should go onto the clarinet bonfire.
Hideous, brain-hurting nasty things.

(Runs in) FLUTE RULES (runs out)

For some reasons professional musicians reserve their venom for the viola - I don't know why but someone on MN probably will.

For some reasons professional musicians reserve their venom for the viola - I don't know why but someone on MN probably will.

You are clearly being both U and ABSURD. As Eddie Izzard said, the oboe is like blowing air into a weasel.

The clarinet, on the other hand, is the Most Beautiful Instrument Ever. Not when it's played in a waily Dixieland fashion of course (don't get me started on the competitive musical wankery that is Dixieland), but with a good tone and no vibrato it's the dog's balls.

No! A clarinet played well makes a gorgeous sound, full voiced and melancholy. Finzi's Clarinet Concerto is just beautiful.

Whereas oboes... meh. Thin, squeaky and oboe players look like they're about to have a cerebral aneurism with all that straining.

Where do you stand on the Cor Anglais, especially as played in Sibelius' The Swan of Tuonela?

Get rid of both and everyone can play the alto sax instead.

Ah yes Andrew we all hate the viola because it's often the least well played instrument in the orchestra due to the players often having started on violin and then changed to viola. The music for viola is written in alto clef rather than treble clef so there is also often an issue with reading the notes...!

FLUTES RULE!

Only made grade 5 before I was thrown out for having the wrong shaped mouth for taking the flute further! Wasn't allowed to move to Oboe :( Favourite piece of music is the Arrival of the Queen of Sheba! Oh the evils I gave when the school orchestra played it at the end of term concert.

No, No NO! A well played recorder is a thing of beauty. Listen to Telemann or Barsanti or even Van Eyck

Flutes are worse than oboes. Ghastly breathy sound with no depth whatsoever. Really, what is the point?

I like a harp. When I retire I'm going to learn.