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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just sent wrong text to playdate horrors mother

451 replies

Fanfeckintastic · 15/07/2014 17:14

Oh please help me I'm mortified!! I've just had a play date from HELL and to I went to text my best friend (who would find it hilarious) all about it, outlined everything horrible that he did but I sent it to the little boys mother. I feel like crying.

Is there anyway out of this, I used him name and I ended with "never to return again" Blush

OP posts:
TheWholeOfTheSpoon · 15/07/2014 21:52

I must be hormonal as I welled up a bit when I read her reply. In one sentence, you can sense the poor woman's exhaustion.

Ds1 went through a stage of being a right little shit when he was about 6. He even got chucked off the football team for being so vile. I felt judged ALL the time, not helped with having 3 wild ones under 3 too.

He's now almost adult is an awesome young man. He was just a bugger of a 6 year old!

Squtternutbaush · 15/07/2014 21:52

Oh dear, I've been there OP! There really should be a prompto check the recipient before you send a messagemessage.

Sounds like you're sucking it up and going over to the mum is brave, must've been horrible for her to read but hopefully it has opened up a few doors for her to rant.

OHforDUCKScake · 15/07/2014 21:55

Oh Miscell I feel for all involved there!!

Ive sent a text bitching about a friend to another friend when I was 17. I havent made that mistake since, I hope to God I dont again.

OP, good luck. I have a really, really difficult child and if he behaved with others as he does with me (no idea, hes only ever been with me) then Id expect that a text be sent from host to friend, and I would probably respond the same as the Play Date Horrors mother, she is clearly aware.

I just hope to the god of all things good that my horror stops being quite the horror before he gets to school......

God love that little tike.

kavv0809 · 15/07/2014 21:58

Ps word of caution on the airplane mode for catching texts. Just been trying it out on my Htc to DH's I phone.

I was quick to switch to airplane mode, and it said the texts didn't deliver. Hmmm... however DH is now being bombarded with (joke) abusive texts from me, they are going through twice even after I deleted them from my own phone.

So be wary, you might just end up adding insult to injury trying to use the airplane mode trick, as you bombard the innocent party with multiple copies of the unintended texts Grin

queenofthemountain · 15/07/2014 21:59

Sorry if I sound sanctimonious.I just speak as I find.i would genuinely never invite a child and then slag them off to a 3rd party when they have gone home.
But judging bycharming people telling me to 'knob off', I guess maybe having some degree of manners, puts me in a minority.

QOD · 15/07/2014 22:00

Oh shit!

FrontForward · 15/07/2014 22:00

I've had horrendous play dates and yes would discuss it with friends, probably face to face and less emotive than the text sounds.

I really hope the mum is ok. Some of my best friendships have grown from 'honest' exchanges and difference of opinions because it's allowed everyone to be totally honest.

Bowlersarm · 15/07/2014 22:00

Only me, queen, with the 'knob off'.

TenMinutesEarly · 15/07/2014 22:01

OP how did it go? I hope wine helped.

r2d2ismyidealman · 15/07/2014 22:07

I think this is heartwarming. Op commits a grand mistake, owns up and apologises, recipient is hurt but not revengeful and op goes over with wine. These are two adult women who should be proud of themselves.

Op, I wanted to vent earlier to my oh about a friend who always cancels on me. All I had typed was well you'll never guess but x had canceled, what a shocker!"... And then I caught that I was about to send it to x!

Koothrapanties · 15/07/2014 22:09

I hope she's ok. I can't believe the pasting you got for this though op. Everyone vents to their friends, it was an honest mistake.

ChoccaDoobie · 15/07/2014 22:10

I think this is heartwarming. Op commits a grand mistake, owns up and apologises, recipient is hurt but not revengeful and op goes over with wine. These are two adult women who should be proud of themselves.

I completely agree with this.

queenofthemountain · 15/07/2014 22:11

Yes but mentioning it in passing when you meet up with a friend face to face sometime in the future, is very different to sending out sweary texts about the poor kid the minute he departs.It just seems a gleeful over-eager trumpeting of the little chaps shortcomings.
Nasty!

Mybigfatredwedding · 15/07/2014 22:13

Gosh some real sanctimonious shit on here!

I only have preschoolers so haven't quite entered play date hell yet, but I am a primary teacher and know that sometimes kids can quite simply be exhausting little shits darlings.

You vented, you made a mistake, you are making up for it. Good for you and ignore that 'oh I have never said a bad word about anybody brigade'.

AmIGoingMad · 15/07/2014 22:23

Grin at kavv0809

LoveBeingInTheSun · 15/07/2014 22:36

Op I feel for you having done something similar. Hope she appreciated you going round

CheerfulYank · 15/07/2014 22:36

Once I slagged my exBF off terribly to his mother over instant messaging as I thought it was my (also called Jo) best friend.

She was lovely about it though. :)

Good for both of you, hope it goes well.

bohoec · 15/07/2014 22:37

How did it go OP? I think you've handled it really well.

hippo123 · 15/07/2014 22:39

Hope it's gone ok op, well done for going round. I once did something similar with a work colleague and her wedding dress. I still die a little bit more inside every time I think about it.

CarmonEileen · 15/07/2014 22:39

A friend of mine once sent a text to her FIL instead of her husband. Husband (James) was working away and had been for some weeks.
Text read. Hey babe, fancy some phone sex?
Clicked to send but sent it to FIL (John) by mistake Blush
John replied-very quickly. .
"I have forwarded this to James"
Haha too funny. Grin

FriendlyAmoeba · 15/07/2014 22:40

Yikes! Well, in a way it might be good for her to know why other mothers "are busy" or not inviting her and her son over anymore.

I do my best not to commit my bitching to writing. But, it happens.

Live and let live. Hopefully you two both feel better after a few bottles glasses of wine.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 15/07/2014 22:41

Anyone else worried about the OP?

She's been gone a while...

Confused

This may be the start of a really lovely friendship.

affafantoosh · 15/07/2014 22:41

*I think this is heartwarming. Op commits a grand mistake, owns up and apologises, recipient is hurt but not revengeful and op goes over with wine. These are two adult women who should be proud of themselves.

I completely agree with this.*

Me too.

ILoveTIFFANY · 15/07/2014 22:42

I think she's gone....name changed and hidden the thread maybe

treadheavily · 15/07/2014 22:43

I find in these situations that the forgiveness can come early on after profuse apologies but the resentment settles in a bit later, the relationship never really recovers. It must have been very upsetting for the other mother but you can't undo do it, you can only apologise and let her be.