To not choose holidays based on what there is for the kids to do?

[MrsWinnibago]

It's struck me that I'm the only one of all the families I've talked to recently that doesn't choose holidays based on what there is for the kids to do.

I've just never even considered it! Mine like the beach, the countryside, shops and walks as well as walking round castles and towns they've not been to before.

They like shops and galleries and they just seem to enjoy new places.

I was talking to my sister and she was suggesting a particular resort as it has a good kid's club and other things that would appeal to most kids she said.

She went on to say that I'm selfish as I never book anywhere like that. Am I?

Our kids are similar in age...between 6 and 10.

I'm happy enough with my many holiday choices not to have to put other people's holidays down.

You are allowed to get off cruise ships by yourself and do proper sightseeing, no obligation to do the organised trips.

The first year we went to Egypt we did all the sightseeing. We did it by ourselves (or rather, with the brother of one of the hotel staff, rather than an organised trip). DH and I enjoyed it, but DD was very fed up of travelling and being away from the pool. We were out and about 7 days out of 14.

The second time we went we mainly stayed in the hotel complex, enjoying being lazy (me), meeting and chatting with people of other nationalities (DH) and riding each of the 28 water slides at least 100 times (DD)

Best of both worlds really

The"rabbles of rowdy kids" I experienced was at Pontins (Brean Sands?) And at Haven on the Isle of Wight. Both were through Sun holidays ( we were strapped for cash). My kids hated it. All of us put off forever!

I'd be delighted to book holidays with kids clubs but sadly DS 8, refuses to go in them.

He does however enjoy playing with other DCs, but just in a more informal setting and had good fun on our recent trip to France as first week was with friends and their DCs and second week was at a small shared cottage complex with a pool where he met another boy and they had great fun. If we had gone for a sole cottage with no pool we could have had a nicer one for the price - but I feel that DS needs those for his enjoyment.

We also struck a balance by letting each person i.e. DH, DS and myself pick what we were doing for one day then rotated it, although DH sulked rather when DS wanted to spend his day by the pool and then at mini golf as DH felt we could be doing something more productive .

I think there is a balance to be struck. We don't take the same holidays that we would have done pre DS as the sightseeing wouldn't be in any way enjoyable.

Also I remember my childhood holidays distinctly - trekking round in sweltering heat sight seeing or visiting National Trust properties with zero concessions at all to what I would like to do or enjoy, it was the 70s so perhaps trying to accommodate children's preferences was less evolved as a concept at that point. My DF is American and when I was 5 we went to Florida - I was desperate to go to Disneyworld and bought Mickey Mouse magazine weekly, did we go - No. As an adult I think that's rather sad that my parents couldn't put their own preferences to one side and indulge me for one blinking day going somewhere where I wanted to go when we were actually in the vicinity.

Is the OP being selfish? Hard to tell really, if the DCs are enjoying themselves then No, but I firmly believe holidays should be enjoyable for all and that involves a bit of compromise on both sides.

I haven't RTFT. It's pretty much unheard of where I live (NZ) to book your main summer holiday somewhere with kids' facilities. You book a house or a campsite at a seaside town and muck around at the beach/go fishing/play cards/have BBQs/play board games if it rains. Those are the holidays I grew up with and that's what my kids will be getting.

In winter you might go skiing or to Fiji for some sun if you are reasonably well off but otherwise you sit inside waiting for the rain to stop!

We made almost no concessions other than when he was small it would be country cottages preferably near a beach but definitely not anywhere with organised activities or any sort of resort. As he got older they tended to be a ticking off on a list of great European cities.

We usually do the same sort of holidays as you OP. However, last year I did a solo holiday with DS2 (13) to a beach club type resort and he decided to go to the kids' club.

He had a fantastic time learning to sail, waterski, wake & knee board, SUP and windsurf with another boy his age.

He also joined in with the tennis lessons which were taken up by all adults except for him.

He really enjoyed meeting everyone, but we still spent a lot of time together.

Kids' clubs aren't necessarily about getting rid of the children for the whole holiday; they can add to the fun!

dh's parents used to choose places in the middle of nowhere then read books the whole time
that is what a holiday booked purely for parents can look like
dh does resent it
yours sounds fun

For my little family it's what the DC want. DH and I have years to hoilday where we want but our DC child hood is so short.