To not choose holidays based on what there is for the kids to do?

[MrsWinnibago]

It's struck me that I'm the only one of all the families I've talked to recently that doesn't choose holidays based on what there is for the kids to do.

I've just never even considered it! Mine like the beach, the countryside, shops and walks as well as walking round castles and towns they've not been to before.

They like shops and galleries and they just seem to enjoy new places.

I was talking to my sister and she was suggesting a particular resort as it has a good kid's club and other things that would appeal to most kids she said.

She went on to say that I'm selfish as I never book anywhere like that. Am I?

Our kids are similar in age...between 6 and 10.

Of course YANBU. The idea of being surrounded by other British kids/families on holiday leaves me cold, as does the idea of sunbathing next to a pool/all inclusive/ general resort type thing. I would have hated any sort of kids club as a kid too. We go on holiday to explore the region, walk/cycle, eat like the locals and drink plenty of wine. DD does all but the wine, and if we usually include a day trip to somewhere like a zoo/adventure park. However, on the last 2 occasions the child orientated day has been the least successful; she'd rather potter about really.

We always considered the children and what would suit them, which is why it is now nice to be child free and do exactly as suits us.
However we never did kid's clubs- they wouldn't have liked them and the point of the holiday was to spend time together as a family.

Same op. We home exchange so end up in houses in quirky random places. It's a great adventure which we (I hope) make fun for the kids. We want to spend time with them the point of a family holiday surely? Like you we have beaches and day trips zoos aquariums pony and trap rides etc

I do get pangs of guilt when people talk about kids clubs and activities. That said my dds are quiet girls who I know would hate shouty lets all have fun places. I went to campsites as a child for 9 years and and my sister and I only once went to the kids club. It was horrendous I got hit painfully hard on the leg by some little git with a cricket bat - we never wear back.

All the comments about 'spending time as a family' are coming across rather PA. I spend plenty of time 'as a family' - you don't need to be together 24/7 for that. Kids clubs are generally 2 hours max. At places like a Holiday Village you might get one session in the morning and one in the afternoon, so even if you take full advantage of them, there are another 20 hours in the day for 'spending time as a family. Take out 6 hours sleeping and you have 14. Is that not enough?

Surely most people have different types of holidays at different stages in their lives? We've had really exciting, hiking in Yosemite type holidays before having DS, then we had a few Euro Camp holidays - in interesting places plus a kid's club which our (only) child loved, Lake District trips at YHAs, a bit of a luxury city break as he got older ........ now he is a teen quite honestly no holiday is 'just right' (unless you spend thousands) and I would prefer to stay home alone .

And yes, a lot of smuggery on this thread - we are all different, what one people thinks of as a lovely holiday is someone else's idea of hell (a w/e at Glastonbury ) .

Eve - I agree about the 'time as a family' comment and I wonder what sort of lives all these people normally live if 'time as a family' is such a big issue? Surely not everyone works really long hours, frantically busy all w/e, never sees their children etc etc . Actually my DS often holidays on his own, PGL, scout camp, that sort of thing. We spend plenty of too much time 'as a family'.

Eve I love a good calculation.

Never mind factoring in how little time many people have alone with their partner. There's no such thing as "date night" here. Since retiring from the Forces DH now leaves for work at 7pm and returns at 2am, usually 6 nights a week, and always weekends.

When DS was little, a resort nanny meant a meal together alone for one night. The night after we got married. DS was with us on our honeymoon night.

Life is different for different people, so it's great that there are choices for all I guess.

Surely everybody chooses a holiday based on what there is for the kids to do, otherwise the holiday is miserable. If your kids hated either kids' clubs or Roman remains would you keep choosing that kind of holiday year after year?

But talking of Holiday Showdown, what has happened to all the holiday programmes on TV? - they seem to have disappeared.

We like to "spend time as a family" because our kids are older and do a lot of activities and evenings and weekends are usually busy, many days homework has been an issue and taken up a lot of time. We are night owls and live in an area where most people are up early. On holiday we like to sleep late and have breakfast together and slowly and watch tv in pjs. We don't get much time to do that very often.

I'm also cheap. I'd rather spend our money elsewhere and resorts cost a lot compared to what we do. We eat cheaply most of the time on holiday and spend the money in other ways.

As a child, we spent long holidays in large campsites in the South of France. We spent lots of time on the beach, in the pool off exploring on day trips etc. I enjoyed all of it from dusty ruins to a whole day reading.

I always checked out the kids club. It was never used as a dumping ground as they had a list of activities for the week posted outside the rep's tent and I picked what I wanted to do. My parents left it totally up to me. I vividly remember being the only kid who turned up to the session involving painting new designs into the Tiger Club roof and having a lovely afternoon painting in the shade. It was nice for me to get a little space and do something just for me.

I still enjoy doing everything and anything, though I like to do things as well being near the sea. My parents - although they did day trips - preferred to spend the bulk of their time on the beach or poolside. I like to be a bit more active, so the kids clubs were a good outlet for that.

Now we have a 2 year old, we choose the destination we want to go to (places with plenty of things to explore and do) but go at a slower pace and build in playground and playing time. He loved Paris. On our own we would have gone into more galleries, but we had a lovely time in their big parks watching him play in the sandpits.

So, no a kids club isn't essential, but they shouldn't be written off in a sneery way (not you OP but some other posters). Most people, however, do adapt their preferred holiday somewhat for their children - whether that's choosing somewhere with a pool, or garden, or getting more ice creams than they normally would.

I think this thread just show how different we all are and how we should respect and understand people's choice in holidays - my parents love 'culture trips' - even in their 80s they are heading off to see some art & ballet in Italy - having researched it all very thoroughly first - that would bore me rigid.

Also Self's comments about having 'breakfast together slowly and watching tv in pjs' would be my idea of hell - (no offence intended) - probably because we have breakfast together every day and I spend my life trying to get my DS off the tv .

You say that ragwort but dh sees the kids 30 mins a day in the week and sometimes works weekends so yes for him it is all about seeing them. Also depends on dynamics of family. I have 2 same sex kids close in age who play well together so less need for other kids for entertainment than friends with kids who don't get on that well. That said I am not smug and feel guilty that we are not going to resorts or campsites so you can't win!however my dh idea of hell is being surrounded by other people and their children on holiday!

Exactly Ragwort- boring if we were all the same.
Lucky you if you got lots of time as a family. We didn't as DH was out of the house 7am to 7pm.
I also had children who hated kid's clubs. I would have hated them as a child.

We've always chosen holidays where we know there are various activities available nearby for the kids,but never "entertainment". A holiday is for us to all be together doing things we enjoy. My kids happen to actually enjoy visiting castles,Roman ruins,....actually, anything historical.Also museums,RSPB sites,grand houses with beautiful gardens ( my husband's idea of heaven)and just being in new places. They don't enjoy being surrounded by rabbles of rowdy kids being whipped up by the entertainment staff. We've never been abroad with them,but I'm sure it would be the same even then.My youngest is 14 ...they all want to do their own thing now anyway!

It is about adults enjoying it too. No way would we go on a holiday we wouldn't enjoy for the kids but obviously try to make it fun for them.

My friend has 2 lively physical boys who fight a lot and a younger girl. Camping with water park activities lots of other kids suits them. We have 2 dds who play really well and like reading and are wary of big noisy groups so can get away with being just us in a home exchange house. My friends lads would be bouncing off the walls on our holiday!

"Rabbles of rowdy kids being whipped up by the entertainment staff". Oh where did you experience that then? Sounds awful! The ones we have been to have been lovely with dressing up, indoor rock climbing, craft activities, magician shows etc a huge outdoor splash area with life guards. The best one was a Disney one where they had Andy from Toy Story's room set up, with the Monsters Inc Lab set up in the room next door.

I don't think many kids clubs are how some MNetters imagine them to be.

As far as I can tell from your OP, you're doing exactly what your DCs like, with the added bonus of it being what you like, too.
Children do not need tailor made 'children's activities' to enjoy a holiday.
Beaches, castles and countryside sound much better!

Just because they have a great time doesn't mean that you will.

I think that it depends what you want to get from the holiday:

If you want some "relaxing time" when you can read books/drink wine and have time away from the children while they're off having fun with other children - then choose something that allows for you to put them in the Kids Clubz and know that they're safe having fun while you relax or whatever.

If you want "family time" - enjoying spending time as a family and doing things together, then having a holiday cottage and sightseeing/visiting museums etc is a good way to achieve this.

Of course, I'm sure you could do the caravan type holiday and have a couple of days sightseeing as well - and more importantly each to their own

Perhaps she is just miffed that you can never go away together because you both like such different types of holiday?

When I went on holiday with my parents (am an only) I would spend two weeks going out of my mind with boredom because my parents never, ever though to go places with some sorts of things I might enjoy. We never, ever left the hotel either. A case in point: we used to go to Tenerife quite often, about 7 times we went in total when I was a teenager. I never saw anything othrt than the airport, the pool and the restaurant. DH and I took the dc a couple of times and finally I actually got to see lots of what is actually a very beautiful island.

I would beg my comfortably off parents to sightsee but was shot down in flames. "Holidays are not for schlepping round sightseeing".

I think that's why I love cruising. Nearly everyday is sightseeing somewhere different with the DC, we all get involved in picking what we want to do at each port. Some are nature/scenic type trips, some sightseeing such as Rome and St Petersburg and some just completely fun things. Then back on the ship there are lots of activities to with the DCs or perhaps just one of them, adult activities such as spa and casino or adult comedy acts in which case the DC would go in the club for a couple of hours. Last year our ship had an ice skating rink, we had a session with the whole family, then just DC and me ( DH was rubbish), the DC went with their club and it was turned to a roller disco and DS2 and I watched a show on ice together. We also all enjoy chilling and reading on our balcony and leisurely room service breakfasts.

I cant think of nothing more depressing than to go on holidays somewhere and spend the time around a generic hotel with the kids in kids clubs etc. Holidays are a great time for all members of the family to have new experiences and see, smell, taste other cultures. You can't do that very well in these hotels.

Why ever not? They don't lock you in.

You can Dro, my family have had some great trips in places such as Egypt and the Caribbean and then gone out and about visiting wonders of the world, remote islands, local markets and restaurants etc.

People have this assumption that if you go to a resort you just loll about for a week, great if you want to but you don't actually have to!

I've seen the hoardes of cruise ship tourists following their guides, particularly round Athens. That's not sightseeing, it's a route march.