....to wish the woman next to me would stop making sex noises?

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

On antenatal ward being monitored. The woman in the opposite bay is I think having contractions, but with every one is making the biggest sex noises/groans/sighs I've ever heard.

I can't remember contractions being that much fun...!?

OP love your posts, has kept me entertained whilst also enduring that special insomnia that can only be found on an NHS ward...my night currently consists of a lady with dementia who keeps trying to get into bed with me, which would be all very jolly if only she would stop calling me Bereyl...
Please don't listen to po faced humourless right on mung bean weavers, your observations are greatly enjoyed here

I remember when I had my dd I was on a ward with women at various stages of pregnancy while I was in labour. across from me was a man visiting his wife with their three small children. apparently it was the busiest night all year and they had run out of gas and air and I was in agony. he kept giving me dirty looks and after a while approached my mum and said can she not keep it down for god sake their are children in the room. my mum nearly swung for him lol.

How did she manage not to thump him, good and hard. Cheeky doesn't even describe it.
OP, hope you are doing okay.

Well I'm home now, going back today.

Had a total sense of humour failure after a day lying bored on a hot bed watching various women (including Mrs SN, whose enjoyment of labour seemed to reach new levels before they wheeled her off) progress, leave, and then be pushed back past the ward later on all happy clutching lovely squidgy babies.

BUT on the plus side I did have lots of lovely hospital food (not even being sarcastic, I love it!) and made some good progress on Candy Crush. So swings and roundabouts innit!

Perhaps she was one of those orgasming labourers then.

Maybe Nanna was too, and wanted to give her some advice.....

Ifyourawizard. You need to kep us updated hopefully you get your squidgy baby today

I felt so sorry for the women on my labour ward when I was having ds. The induction worked a bit too well, and I was 9cm before they realised. I was screaming blue bloody murder while they were debating whether to take me to a delivery room or let me give birth on the ward.

I think my swearing when the g&a ran out made their minds up and we were whisked off. DP was going to go down the stairs and meet us at the bottom while I went in the lift, they told him not to just in case...

I hope none of the other women on the ward were having their first, I'd have been demanding a CS if it had been me!!

I gave birth to dd at a hospital that had only on-street parking. I had a contraction as I got out of the car and sort of hung over the bonnet diligently doing my breathing exercises. DH was mortified and was hissing at me that people could see me, fgs, I really don't know what he expected me to do about it. When I was in a state to talk I pointed that out, told him that I couldn't care less if the whole world could see me, and anyway people living or working in that area must be positively bored with the sight of labouring women staggering and moaning their way in to the hospital.

As dd was born only an hour later, I think my swear words were positively moderate in the circumstances.