....to wish the woman next to me would stop making sex noises?

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

On antenatal ward being monitored. The woman in the opposite bay is I think having contractions, but with every one is making the biggest sex noises/groans/sighs I've ever heard.

I can't remember contractions being that much fun...!?

What goes on the labour ward, stays on the labour ward IMO.

Exactly.

There's also a difference between having a moan about something and poking fun. The op of this was trying to be funny. Sadly she wasn't. Maybe it was the subject? Woman in agony just isn't quite rib ticklingly funny is it?

I think if you had given out any identifying features then you would have a point but a woman on a ward is not in any way identifiable.
Likewise I gave no indication as to what town or indeed country I was in when I posted whinged last week.

Your lucky it's sex noises. The woman in the bed opposite me in the pre labour ward had the fucking audacity to be chirpy and cheerful and witter on, non stop, for what seemed like hours about how happy and excited she was and whether her DP thought she'd be a good mum.

I was on my 3rd failed induction attempt and in the grump to beat all grumps. DH had to take me for a calming walk in case I went over to tell her to STFU. Luckily, she was off to the labour unit by the time we returned. Her labour noises were intermittent cute little squeaks.

I'd like to add, I'm sure the woman was lovely and on any other occasion I'd be happy she was happy, but OMG, what a huge PITA.

If she's at the moaning stage surely they should move her to her own room rather than antenatle?
When I went in to be induced there was a woman on induction full on screaming, yes I judged saying to dp if she thinks it's bad now she's in for a right shock later on. Felt awful later when I found out her induction had proceeded a bit too rapidly and she had baby before she could be transferred down

AND ANOTHER THING..........why are antenatal wards set to be hotter than the sun? It's 26 degrees in here. Is it like some kind of punishment for heavily pregnant ladies?

Mrs SN now been transferred. I'm clearly jealous. Wish I was having contractions :(

Good luck OP!

A woman making sex-noises in labour is probably not in extreme pain. Feeling the overwhelming, intensity of contractions probably, but agony - no.

When I was in for my induction, the lady next to me started making agonised moans/ cries.

I felt so sorry for her (and if I'm honest, scared for me!) When my contractions started (very quickly!) I was SO conscious of the noise I made in case it scared anyone else. I think I may have annoyed everyone more by squeaking out, 'was THAT one too loud?' to DP after everyone whilst lying as flat as my belly would allow on the cold floor!
Eeep, birthing is so undignified!

nousername that happened to me

The midwives didn't bat an eyelid to my screaming on the antenatal ward during induction. Eventually decided to check (after saying I could go home soon!) and soon realised I wasn't making a fuss about nothing but was 8cm and accidentally broke my waters. Soon moved to the labour ward after that... And got told to stop screaming by a midwife Apparently I shouldn't have laboured that quickly

I was so embarrassed about the noise I was making but as PP said I'm sure I gave all the bored people on antenatal something to chat about. Doesn't bother me but I was worried that the other ladies would be a bit put off.

Just wait til you get to the postnatal ward! Dc and I were both covered in heat rash within 24h of giving birth. (Which was not in the end a bad thing, as it got us into a 'private' room PDQ.)

People labour on wards? Not by accident? Did not know this, that's horrible. No way I'd have coped with that!

I remember seeing a documentary about women who orgasamed their way thru labour, loosening up the exit and all, maybe SN had seen the same?

Clearly you're jealous. I am. I wish my labor felt that good.

I curled up in a ball while DH kept trying to remind me to breath, because I'd forget. Then I got an epidural and the day was saved. :)

I did moose noises too!

I imagine she is a whole lot more annoyed about having to labour in a public place instead of a private room as I imagine she would prefer.

Her labour noises were intermittent cute little squeaks.

I'm getting jealous I remember lying on the induction ward for THREE DAYS with not a twitch in my uterus, listening to woman after woman come in, groan their way through shitloads of contractions, and get sent off to have their babies.

Was like Rachel on friends.

I was put on antenatal ward and they sent DH home as they did not believe I was in labour. By the time they called him back and we went upstairs I was 7cm dilated. I hadn't made a peep as people were sleeping. Give me a medal now.

Another timely reminder that no matter what you do, no matter where you are, there will be some bitch judging you.

You're..........not your

Huh?

Same here slithytove but without the good hair.

Completely agree with Sienna.

For the record, I haven't shown her the thread, made any contact at all, made any identifying comments here.

This is the most popular topic on a very big, public forum, used by thousands of women, including women TTC, pregnant women and new mothers. She could find this thread on her own, you know. Mumsnetters have even entertained themselves through actual labour by MN'ing, to the point of doing live-birth threads.

And besides, even if she never knew, and no relative of hers never clicks on this thread and thinks, "hey, X is in the hospital right now, and that really sounds like her Nanna in the phone call the OP describes", this thread is still mocking a labouring woman for making funny noises.

It's banana-skin humour.

I went in with beautifully straightened hair.

Lasted until I took an NHS shower and then had to let it dry naturally in a 30 degree ward.

That, plus 3 days of induction on fluids (I swelled up like a balloon), tear stained face after having hysterics when told I needed a section, and I was not a pretty mother for my first baby photos!

Fifty hour labour here.

The night before ds actually popped I was doped up on something (no idea) and exhaused. I woke up with every contraction, groaned, dropped straight asleep, woke with the next contraction (approx ten mins apart), groaned, straight asleep - all night.

If you were in the same ward as me all those years ago, I'm really, really sorry.

Sorry, fail to see the funny side too. Lets hope you don't get Judged when you go into labour OP.

A bit depressing we all have to worry about other women poking fun at our pain when we are in labour? Jees.

I too was vomiting like something possessed and on a very open ward so I'd have been pretty annoyed had you been posting about me and making fun on the Internet.

I remember when I had my dd I was on a ward with women at various stages of pregnancy while I was in labour. across from me was a man visiting his wife with their three small children. apparently it was the busiest night all year and they had run out of gas and air and I was in agony. he kept giving me dirty looks and after a while approached my mum and said can she not keep it down for god sake their are children in the room. my mum nearly swung for him lol.

after I had given birth I was put into a recovery ward for a few hours that was right alongside the Labour ward. I would have really really preferred sex noises that night. one woman was screaming a sound I have never heard the likes of and never hope to again it was inhuman. I actually covered my ears and cried my eyes out as I was sure she was dying or something.