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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding

77 replies

Gryffindor · 13/07/2014 23:23

Just received invite to a wedding which is taking place on a Tuesday night. It says "please stay at the reception as late as possible".

Yes, never mind the fact that we are all taking the day off work to come already. It's not like we have to work on Wednesday or anything.

Oh and of course there was a request for cash.

This will be our 6th wedding this year - it's wearing thin!

AIBU to think this is a cheeky request?

OP posts:
ChoccaDoobie · 13/07/2014 23:26

Blimey, that is an unusual one! Presumably the request for cash was for the present? It would be even weirder if it wasn't!

MrsKoala · 13/07/2014 23:27

what time is the actual wedding?

DueOct30th · 13/07/2014 23:28

They might have surprise at the end. Fireworks or similar?

HicDraconis · 13/07/2014 23:29

For the cash request alone YANBU.

However it's lovely that they want their guests to stay as late as possible. Just a shame that for most people who have to be up early for work the next day, "possible" is probably going to mean 9-10pm.

From my hazy memories of my wedding - we were in bed by 10 anyway ;) I have no idea how late the rest of the family stayed up, but then it was Friday night.

joanofarchitrave · 13/07/2014 23:29

I left at five from a lunch wedding reception which started at 11.30, to devastation from the hosts as lots of people were leaving, and they'd booked a band and all. But they'd never told us there was going to be anything in the evening and they live in absolutely the arse end of nowhere, what did they think was going to happen?

Ignore the request for cash and let them know you'll be leaving after 3 hours as it's a midweek wedding, that would be only polite.

Original poster
Gryffindor · 13/07/2014 23:30

Wedding at 1pm.

Yes, cash request is for the gift!

I don't actually mind taking the day off work, understand midweek weddings are much cheaper for B&G (although Tuesday - ugh) but the pass agg comment about staying late is annoying.

It means that I know going into the wedding that the B&G will be clock watching to see which guests don't stay until the bitter end. Hmm

OP posts:
ChoccaDoobie · 13/07/2014 23:32

Yes, that is exactly how I would feel and if you have been there all day you will probably feel knackered! That is a strange thing to write.

Original poster
Gryffindor · 13/07/2014 23:32

No surprise at the end, they just want their money's worth from the disco. It was the hen last week so I know the plan for the day.

I think it's absolutely fine to want a late one, but if that is your priority you should have the wedding on a day when most people don't have to get up and go to work.

OP posts:
DustyCropHopper · 13/07/2014 23:33

I wonder if they have been to a few midweek weddings and experienced the same as we have and that is that people tend to start leaving early due to needing to be up for work in the morning. I do think it is an odd request, and personally think if you have a midweek wedding you do so realising people have work commitments and so may mean they need to leave earlier to get home at a decent time.

Alisvolatpropiis · 13/07/2014 23:35

As late as possible?

I wonder if they're putting on a firework display?

Original poster
Gryffindor · 13/07/2014 23:37

Definitely no fireworks.

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 13/07/2014 23:37

That's not a late wedding then is it really. We got married at 4pm (iirc) and most people were leaving about 10pm (altho we had no disco or anything so people may have wanted to stay later if we did). I hate mid week weddings - i think they take the piss. If i was planning to go to work on the Weds i would leave about 9pm and when i said goodbye i would say to the b&g 'I have to go now, i would stay later, but i have to get up for work in the morning'.

Original poster
Gryffindor · 13/07/2014 23:42

I'm still reeling a bit from the hen TBH. The bride wanted "the hotel experience" (whatever that is) and even though all we all live in the same city she wanted a hotel in that city for the night. We all covered her share too.

She didn't bring her purse with her! We paid for her dinner, club entry, all drinks, breakfast the next day etc. Between us all it wasn't too bad, but what a colossal piss take. She didn't even try and really pretend it was an accident Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
Gryffindor · 13/07/2014 23:43

(Realise that is a massive drip feed, sorry)

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 13/07/2014 23:45

Holy shit! What a ponce!

BackforGood · 13/07/2014 23:45

The very fact that they've put it on the invitation suggests that they are well aware a Tuesday night is not a night that most people are able to stay out late. The surely needed to have made a decision before booking the wedding - am I going to have a quieter (as not everyone can get time off work) 'do' mid-week, which obviously will finish earlier, or do I want to have a bigger evening party, in which case I need to have that party on a Friday or Saturday night (or Sun if followed by a BH).
They've made their own bed, by choosing to have it on a Tuesday.

Alisvolatpropiis · 13/07/2014 23:47

She didn't take her purse with her?! Shock

Original poster
Gryffindor · 13/07/2014 23:55

Nope. We had dinner, the bill came and she just sat there. We worked out a rough price per head (couple of people not drinking etc) and when she realised we weren't planning to sub her she came out with that gem. We're a generous bunch but we had already paid for the hotel, drinks and snacks at the hotel etc.

OP posts:
MrsKoala · 13/07/2014 23:56

Wow.

Alisvolatpropiis · 14/07/2014 00:04

Wow. I didn't think people like her really existed!

I'd stay until you felt it was time to leave 5pm and then just go. It's a Tuesday, what do they seriously expect?

My dp and I had a choice between a venue we really loved and a venue we just loved. The latter won because the former could only do a Wednesday. A lot of our guests were travelling and we decided we would rather more people were able to celebrate with us than have the first venue which virtually nobody would be able to come to.

Getting married next month and still happy with that choice!

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/07/2014 00:16

We just got an invite asking for cash yesterday too. So so rude. We are thinking if getting them an Olive Press and a long plate thing to put French stick on.

joanofarchitrave · 14/07/2014 00:24

I'd get them a money clip scarlettsmummy, or a wallet.

glasgowstevenagain · 14/07/2014 00:45

D and v on the morning.....

Happy36 · 14/07/2014 01:04

I imagine there are fireworks at midnight, or some other treat that they don´t want you to miss. Perhaps you can ask someone close to / in the wedding party for details?

Is there any possibility of nipping home between the ceremony and reception for a cat nap?

InThisTogether · 14/07/2014 02:16

I am pretty sure that people think their wedding is going to be the be all and end all of your social life but really they just drive me nuts. If they have a Tuesday wedding they should be grateful for what they get, if anyone goes at all.

I think you should tell her that after she fleeced you for the Hen you need to work on the Wednesday just to pay the mortgage!

Good luck :)