to ask you not to stare at me in the gym?

[Bogeyface]

To the young smug skinnies,

I know I am a size 16, I know I do get very red and sweaty when I am training and I am sure that the sight of my flabby arse is not particularly pleasant. But thats why I use the small room out of the way.

Being a skinny size 8 and being able to run 10 miles without breaking a sweat is impressive, but there is no need to keep looking at me with such a disgusted expression on your face and discussing me with your mates. I am going to the gym because I dont want to look like this anymore!

Give it twenty years til you are my age and have 6 kids like I have and then lets see how smug you are. I was a size 8 when I was 21 too! I just felt like utter shit today, so thank you very fucking much for that, but you wont stop me going back if only because now I need to prove a point!

Oh and for the record, if you are going to try and be sneaky, shooting filthy looks at people etc, make sure you are not in a room with a full mirrored wall, if you can see me then I can see you, dumbass

Im likely to stare at people at the gym too.. just out of boredom, mind wandering off type of thing. But the ones I find interesting are the people who idly sit on a bike, barely peddling, whilst reading a mag. They might as well be at home on the couch they'd probably burn as many calories.

Well you can't be too energetically busy yourself peasandlove if your mind is wandering and you're staring around at other people.

To be fair on the weights guys in my gym, I find that if you are consistent in your gym visits and they see you regularly then they are very smiley and helpful (extra difficult as I don't speak their language ).

I admire their dedication, and they are very willing to help you with posture, form etc.

I've gained weight through an accident and CFS last year. So I am self conscious and looking for those looking IYSWIM. Thankfully my gym is generally friendly and wavy.

However one young woman in her mid twenties did come in a few weeks ago and look me up and down in a slow, sneery condescending way. I'd missed a week of visits so on a 30 degree night I was sweating and red after 5mins on the elliptical an climbing the stairs to the gym

But she did a double take on her way out of the gym after her workout when I was still on there 40 minutes later. Oh yes!

you're right vintage, I find the circuit boring so I usually do the classes

When i was a super fit skinny minny I was training too hard and too engrossed in my personal agony to even see other people through a mist of sweat let alone judge the size of their arse. That is why and how i was a skinny minny.

There is a much less competitive gym but it is twice as far away and almost three times more expensive so that is out. I used to go there when my sister managed the spa and I got half price family rates and there was none of that there. The vast majority of clients were women, varying sizes from 6 to 36, and it was a nice supportive atmosphere. For example you could strike up a conversation with the person on the next treadmill and not be through weird (or downright ignored) and equally, if they struck up a conversation with you it was ok to say "Cant talk, dying!" :o

Regarding the men on free weights, I dont think their training is funny (I get the technique thing) its the posing. I have seen them just stand there and look at themselves, its like Narcissus sometimes! But I dont laugh or smirk, I keep it to myself.

The women I am talking about dont hide it, they are overt. They flirt with the ripped men, give the overweight (or just not that ripped) men filthy looks and wide berth, same with the women that dont fit.

Its not a nice atmos tbh, but I cant afford to go back to the naice place so I have to suck it up. Even the trainers seem to have no interest, I asked about using the power plate for some ab exercises I had read about and he couldnt have cared less. I knew no more when he had droned at me, whilst looking over my shoulder than I did before I asked!

They will have personal trainers at your gym Bogeyface, could you book one session maybe? He/she won't be looking over your shoulder at anybody, they will concentrate on you. It also lets the trainers and people around you know that you are committed to your fitness.

Did the trainer give you an induction to the power plate? Did you give it a try? Did he watch you to ensure that you were safe and in the right position? If not, ask again - and if he drones, ask him to explain better.

I just get the feeling from your posts that, with the wrong encouragement, you'd leave the gym altogether.

Are you kidding vintagejazz? Anyone stuck in one place using a treadmill/bike/crosstrainer etc for 40 mins or so and doesn't find themselves staring around or thinking about stuff must have had a lobotomy!

When I joined a gym for the first time in my mid 20s I was a size 16 and had no confidence. The reason I joined the gym I didn't was because there was 4 is size 20 woman on the tread mill. I figured if she had the balls to sweat in front of the super fit crowd then I could too.

Everyone in my gym must think I scowl at them. Problem is that I can't wear my glasses on the,treadmill (they fall down my nose and annoy me), so I just can't see very well.

My gym is quite friendly and bigger people only get looked at in a 'good for you getting fit' kind of way.

However - the ripped young men and gym bunnies do stare a lot... just into the mirror at themselves!

I've seen lots of lads doing their hair in the mirrors, one guy was even shadow boxing into the mirror before perfecting his hair!

It's quite funny, and yes I do look at them (as discreetly as poss) because they are ripped!

Hmm. Size 16 isn't that big. Plenty of 16s at my gym, myself included.

Are you sure you aren't imagining things?

Focus in yourself, sod everyone else. Yes they are rude but if we all lived our lives concerned about other people's opinions, we'd never do anything.
I bet you're doing great. Who cares what they think, they don't matter

Smile and wave at them :D

If they make you feel really uncomfortable though, maybe mention it to one of the staff? Its not on for people to stare at you and bad gym etiquette. Youre there to exercise, which is much more valid than them being there to socialise and judge. If they spent more time exercising then they probably wouldnt notice others, let alone feel the need to bitch to their friends about other gym users.