to ask you not to stare at me in the gym?

[Bogeyface]

To the young smug skinnies,

I know I am a size 16, I know I do get very red and sweaty when I am training and I am sure that the sight of my flabby arse is not particularly pleasant. But thats why I use the small room out of the way.

Being a skinny size 8 and being able to run 10 miles without breaking a sweat is impressive, but there is no need to keep looking at me with such a disgusted expression on your face and discussing me with your mates. I am going to the gym because I dont want to look like this anymore!

Give it twenty years til you are my age and have 6 kids like I have and then lets see how smug you are. I was a size 8 when I was 21 too! I just felt like utter shit today, so thank you very fucking much for that, but you wont stop me going back if only because now I need to prove a point!

Oh and for the record, if you are going to try and be sneaky, shooting filthy looks at people etc, make sure you are not in a room with a full mirrored wall, if you can see me then I can see you, dumbass

I haven't personally experienced judgement at my gym but I have overheard a girl gossiping in the changing rooms about a "friend" who had really let herself go because she had gone up to a size 12. It wasn't aimed at me but it did make me think that if they think a size 12 is fat they must think my size, 14, is obese! Their behaviour must stem from deeply rooted insecurities. People who are truly happy do not need to tear others down to feel good about themselves. If this is a pervasive problem at your gym, maybe switching to a different gym would help. Otherwise, just ignore them. You can't see them give you looks if you're not looking at them! Keep your eyes ahead and headphones in. Don't give them the power to hurt you.

I go to the gym twice a week and am a size 18/20. Some of you were asking if they should say something to someone my size to be encouraging? Personally, I would really hate it if someone came up to me and said "good on you" or the like. I'd find in patronizing and embarassing. The best and most encouraging thing for me would be for you to treat me just like everyone else.

Next time she does it, wave at her! Then watch her blush.

You have six kids and time to go to- the gym? Wow, I'm impressed! Those women sound horrible .

I'm also -ing at the 'skinny minnie' comments. FYI I am skinny (always have been) and am not bitchy or judgmental about other people's size. Also FYI I try to keep fit by running but am not very fast and often get overtaken by people several sizes larger than me so know size is not a good guide to fitness

Yeah fuck 'em OP. Good for you for living an active life. Being self conscious and powering through It is really admirable. you go woman!!

(says the girl too scared to attend the gym because people might stare at her 6 month pregnant bump)

Do what Chameleon says - a well-timed wave.

If she's just looking but not necessarily at you, then no harm done and if she's being a cow it might stop her for a bit.

Yup, just keep focusing on what you are wanting to achieve by going to the gym. Try to zone out anyone else who may look at you for whatever reason.

I don't go to the gym but do an hour of walking every day. I am red faced, sweaty and look wrecked but if people look (or if I think they're looking) I just remember that my heart, my bones and my blood pressure will thank me for this. That my thighs are looking a bit firmer and that I feel I am investing time and effort into my health. Bugger anyone and everyone else and feel proud that you're looking after yourself.

And if you were a size 8 super-model there'd still be some size 6 uber super model eyeballing you and deciding that you could stand to lose a few pounds. There's never any sense or any winning when it comes to body fascism, so forget em.

6 kids and your a size 16 you're doing well ive seen people go to a size 20 after one!

Maybe you're being a tad paranoid? Or are you sitting on a machine while not using it, meaning its out of action for other gym users?

I don't want to burst your bubble, but in the unlikely event I found myself staring at someone in the gym, it would be because I couldn't keep my eyes off their beauty. Or admiring their leggings. I'm not that interested in what you do. I doubt other people are either.

So it's fine for you to be annoyed with 'skinnies' but they can't be annoyed with you for being a bigger size?

Sorry you had a rough time today - not least because it is nice to come away from the gym feeling good. Sounds like you had a bad experience.

But I agree with others that I hate the way that these threads descend into skinny = bitchy and how it is ok to call skinny people names. I also agree with whoever up thread said that of course people in the free weights area look at themselves in the mirror: they are there so that you can look at your form as you lift! Grunting is also pretty normal if you are lifting heavy. I grunt all the time. it might not be pretty but as everyone on this thread has agreed, gyms are about working out and getting fitter not about being perfect.

So it's fine for you to be annoyed with 'skinnies' but they can't be annoyed with you for being a bigger size?

The issue was they were skinny and judging me (and others) for being fat. I dont judge them for being skinny, I judge them for being bitches.

You must be going to the wrong gym. No one would bat an eyelid at you in any of the gyms I've been too and even if you were very heavy I would have thought any glances would be looks of respect. presuming you are not wearing neon pink spandex

If I ever notice anyone who is heavy doing exercise and getting hot and sweaty I am only ever impressed.

I hope you find things improve. Good luck.

Perhaps they weren't judging you at all Bogeyface; my guys both attend the gym almost daily.

My DS is one of those in the lifting room trying to improve his form. He admires all the bigger guys trying to improve. He has even tried to encourage a huge guy from the rugby club to come down to partner with him. His pet peeve in the gym is the guy who thinks he knows best and postulates throwing weights to the floor, loudly ...whatever his size (and they do come in all shapes and sizes).

My DD is trying to lose weight and improve her overall fitness for her future aspirations. She is not in the same league as DS (or some of the wonderfully fit girls in the gym) but is certainly getting there. She admires and respects those who have achieved and those aspiring to achieve.

It's all about attitude...and you cannot alter anybody else's attitude; just enjoy your journey towards better health and fitness for yourself and simply ignore anything you perceive to be negative.

You're doing great Bogeyface...keep going for yourself!

I sweat a lot and always go beet root red My hair always gets stuck to my head and I generally look a bit of a mess.

I am suspicious of people that look good when they work out.

PS I am ridiculously unfit and am scared of the gym my DCs attend...you're a better person than me

Oh FFSFFS, that's me on a power walk on the treadmill...so embarrassing how red and sweaty I get scary

I have never noticed this in a gym.

I have a natural "fuck off face" as my resting face apparently

Get a friend to come with you?

www.bspcn.com/2014/02/22/guy-dresses-up-in-costume-at-the-gym-to-take-the-attention-away-from-his-overweight-friend-who-was-embarrassed-to-go-to-the-gym/

Now, I've never been in a gym, but I do want to applaud the motivation and bravery it takes to go. I may be a size six but I am as weak as a kitten these days and will probably suffer in a few years with crumbling bones and wish, just wish, I had half of your get up and go. Hoist your Lycra (or whatever you wear at the gym) pants as high as you like and judge anyone who makes it less easy for you to follow your goals.

I started excersising by walking round the big housing estate every day for an hour last August and went back to Slimming World. Ive lost 2 stone 8 pounds and gone from a 22 to a 16. (i was originally a size 28 and 21 stone and originally lost 10 stone 12 years ago) the weight comes off a lot slower these days.
Apart from a couple of idiots honking their horns at me ive only had positive comments (which is fucking unusual for round here) and i can get into a size 14 skirt but its a bit snug. Once i hit size 14 i will be aiming to maintain. Im not pushing and pushing myself to go lower than that because that's where misery (and possibly an eating disorder) lies.

In perspective....i was a size 28 FFS!

And a trainer told me that short bursts of intense excersise is more beneficial than longer sessions.

How do you know they were discussing you? Leave the look on their faces out of it, that could easily be mis-interpreted. Did you actually hear anything that was said?

The gym is a funny old place. I've been very fat and am currently a size 10 and running 10 miles as a gym goer and look really very fit and muscular.

My gaze rests of on different things, I sometimes feel glared at by fatter people. I've joked that I would like to wear a t-shirt that says "you should have seen me this time last year" with a picture of me as a size 20 eating a burger.

I think the longer you go the gym and the more time you spend there the more you stare at people, probably because of sheer boredom.
In the last few months I have probably stared too long at:

A bigger woman in hot pants who, as she was running on the treadmill her shorts where going so far up her fanny I could see her labia quivering with every footfall.

I woman on the cross trainer who had giant tattoos on each calf of somebody's face but I couldn't work out who they were of.

An older woman on the rower, looked about 80, looked Olympic standard!

A man on the cross trainer in hundreds of layers including a hoody and hat, presumably to 'sweat' out his fat, strange.

A man who who had giant built up muscles on his upper body (nickname "croissant") but puny legs that could barely support his massive arms, chest and neck.

I shouldn't have been staring but I love people watching, I also have the world's most miserable face so probably look like a grade A bitch.

Be proud - you are doing great!