to ask you not to stare at me in the gym?

[Bogeyface]

To the young smug skinnies,

I know I am a size 16, I know I do get very red and sweaty when I am training and I am sure that the sight of my flabby arse is not particularly pleasant. But thats why I use the small room out of the way.

Being a skinny size 8 and being able to run 10 miles without breaking a sweat is impressive, but there is no need to keep looking at me with such a disgusted expression on your face and discussing me with your mates. I am going to the gym because I dont want to look like this anymore!

Give it twenty years til you are my age and have 6 kids like I have and then lets see how smug you are. I was a size 8 when I was 21 too! I just felt like utter shit today, so thank you very fucking much for that, but you wont stop me going back if only because now I need to prove a point!

Oh and for the record, if you are going to try and be sneaky, shooting filthy looks at people etc, make sure you are not in a room with a full mirrored wall, if you can see me then I can see you, dumbass

I'm guilty of staring at larger people at the gym, I'm a size 14, but mainly because I'm working out if it's offensive to say 'good for you' or whatever and try to be motivating as I'm giving up and heading to KFC on the way home.. or do I smile? (The last thing I want is for people to think I'm laughing at them) or just ignore them? Then I always conclude.. Yes! Ignore them, I'd hate someone to comment to me... By then I've been looking at them weirdly for 30 seconds! Sorry on behalf of all of those lacking in gym etiquette!

Actually, i do judge some people at the gym. If you're wearing a jumper, haven't put your hair up or aren't dripping on sweat I wonder what you're doing there...

When I used to go the gym I used to find my gaze resting on people without realising it.

I guarantee you I was thinking 'Fuck I'm bored. I'm so bored. Bored bored bored. Why can I only run half a mile before collapsing? God look at her run. I want to run like that. Bloody hell I'm bored. I wonder if she'd think I was a weirdo if I asked for tips on how to run? Shit. Must stop looking. She'll be reporting me soon. I'm so bored...' etc etc.

You could try embroidering 'Quit staring, gym bunny. It's rude' on the back of your gym wear.

Incidentally, I used to be told by the gym people that heavy sweating (which is what I do) is a sign of fitness. May have been a big fib, but I chose to believe it...

I would caution against doing anything defensive. Anyone who goes to a gym will realise that it takes courage for a fat person to go there, and that said fat person will probably already be feeling self-conscious. Much better, I think, just to grit your teeth and get on with your workout rather than emphasise how self-conscious you are by making reference to the fact that you think other people are judging you. Why not use it as part of your motivation: focus on getting fit and wiping the smile off their faces?!

Incidentally, me and DH used to go to the gym together pre-kids and we did used to snigger at people, but it was never the fat ones. We used to laugh at the ones who would turn up, do a really mild workout for 20 minutes without breaking a sweat, then meet up in the cafe and lounge about drinking cappucinos for hours :D Some people want to be seen to exercise but don't actually want to put in the work ...

We also used to snigger at a certain well-known athlete who used the same gym, especially when said well-known athlete turned up one day having very noticeably undergone a cosmetic procedure

I have to admit I sometimes stare at very muscly people - I just can't believe how muscly they actually are!

You could always sort this out for good.
Stoke up on a tin of baked beans on toast and do a few yoga postures as a warm up.
Some of them are very good for expelling excess flatulence.

That'll wipe the smirks off their faces and give you some privacy......

I am like you OP, or I will be when I get back in to the gym.

I find that the phrase 'fuck you' said at an easy pace in my head makes for a good soundtrack to time on treadmills.

I stare at the ones in full make up and push up bras thinking
I stare at larger ladies and men thinking...bloody good for you.

I only stare when I'm bored

• I am not a size 8 but a happyish 10/12 who needs to lose her wibbly wobbly tum.

I sometimes stare at people in the gym, but only to see what they are wearing, dont care what size they are (and i am a size 14, so no skinny minny) I just want to see your gym clothes, what trainers you have, what leggings you have on etc to get ideas, although i have numerous sports bras/tops/leggings I can always buy more if I see some I like.

The only people I really stare at in disbelief is those who do 5 mins on the treadmill, 5 mins on the bike then the cross trainer then 5 mins on the rowing machine. Is it really worth it, by the time your muscles are starting to work you stop!

Oh and I sweat buckets too, but in my eyes it proves I have worked hard (and a sweaty moo in other peoples eyes!)

Yes to Bitchy Resting Face. I'm trying to be more open and friendly at the minute and tried to smile at a new person at my exercise class. I think she thought I was being like you described. Bugger.

The vast majority of people are fine, but there seems to be a small core group of young women who do this, and not just to me, as I said above I have seen them do it to others too. The fattest woman in the room generally gets it, today that was me. They are all of a similar age and the phrase "gym bunny" suits them! There is a lot of posturing and posing in the free weights area (in the same room), where incidentally all the very ripped men hang out!

I wonder if part of the reason is that my sports bra is a wee bit small so I have a cleavage you could drown a mouse in, I have noticed that area gets a few looks if I am wearing a vest top :o

I do love people watching, which is why I noticed it. I love watching the men who are working out with free weights, they are hilarious! No worries about them noticing me, they are all utterly obsessed with themselves. They stand in front of the mirrors admiring themselves, its really funny and makes 20 minutes on the cross trainer pass in a flash!

In my experience, the body beautiful only weigh up their equals, particularly those who propose the most competition. They do not seem remotely interested in us mere mortals. In fact they do not even give any eye contact and look right through us, all the signs are saying do not speak to me. Now if a sex kitten walks in their talons are sharpened and the pressure is on.

see this is what annoys me in a major fuckin way.
People are mocked for their size then they are mocked for trying to do something about it.
Come on skinnies make your mind up, because sorry but you can'h have it both ways

Are you sure you're not projecting what you feel.

I agree are you sure you might not be projecting. Size 16 is hardly big - it's not like you are 50 stone.

I have seen it done to others, today was the first time I noticed it being done to me, because they were too thick to realise that mirrors work for everyone, not just them!

Whoever mentioned the men in the free weights area has it spot on. They all wear the skimpiest of vests. I stare at them. They are all really ugly. The ugliest one is the muscliest and he's always bringing skinny mates in for sessions. They seem nice but the main guy is a joke. There's a few like that.

Men in the free weights hahaha and all that grunting.

Actually I've had one sour look of a very fit looking woman when I first went but nothing since and it doesn't bother me. I just keep on peddling and playing sudoku/solitaire.

I got paranoid today - I did a Body Pump class and there's this particular thing you have to do with the hand weights and every time I lift them, my mouth twitches involuntarily and looks like I'm sneering. I don't know if I'd be able to help staring at someone making faces like that so I just kept my head down.

tell them to fuck off op

Are you sure they're really looking at you in that way? I barely even notice anyone else in the gym, much less silently judge them and everyone else seems to be pretty much the same.

And a size 16 woman working out is not THAT unusual!

Ak. My DDs little friend's mum was a size 16 last year OP. She trained like fury and now she's the size ten. She looks amazing. Keep at it...one bad experience...don't let them win!

Bogeyface... Watching themselves in the mirror is the best way to keep an eye on form, making sure that they're not fatiguing and keeping the moves clean.

Have to pick you up on this though... if YOU'RE people watching, could it be that other people also are rather than actively staring? Perhaps you think they're talking about you and they're really not doing that. In the kindest way, people at the gym aren't interested in other people generally, no matter what their size.

I wouldn't notice you but I might gaze through you if you get into my line of vision. I wouldn't notice a thing about you or even that you were there and I certainly wouldn't be thinking disparagingly of you if I did notice you.

I'm a 16/18 and I've never noticed this. I feel shut about myself and sometimes project my insecurities but then calm down and realise I'm being silly.

When I was the young skinny I never looked at a fatter older woman like that, ever!