to ask you not to stare at me in the gym?

[Bogeyface]

To the young smug skinnies,

I know I am a size 16, I know I do get very red and sweaty when I am training and I am sure that the sight of my flabby arse is not particularly pleasant. But thats why I use the small room out of the way.

Being a skinny size 8 and being able to run 10 miles without breaking a sweat is impressive, but there is no need to keep looking at me with such a disgusted expression on your face and discussing me with your mates. I am going to the gym because I dont want to look like this anymore!

Give it twenty years til you are my age and have 6 kids like I have and then lets see how smug you are. I was a size 8 when I was 21 too! I just felt like utter shit today, so thank you very fucking much for that, but you wont stop me going back if only because now I need to prove a point!

Oh and for the record, if you are going to try and be sneaky, shooting filthy looks at people etc, make sure you are not in a room with a full mirrored wall, if you can see me then I can see you, dumbass

Great post batman and well done on the weight loss! I was staring at a bloke the other day at the gym because I was too tired to look anywhere else! . I'd just done a run and was KNACKERED and doing some resistance stuff and this bloke was doing scary lift up things directly in front of me and I couldn't be bothered to look or move anywhere else. He probably thinks he's got his own personal gym stalker now as he caught me several times looking his way

Our gym is pretty low key - no pool, no posh stuff, so I quite like it - you're there to get a job done and get home!

Walk up to them, smile broadly and say 'do I know you from somewhere, only you keep looking at me' Bitches.

A man who who had giant built up muscles on his upper body (nickname "croissant") but puny legs that could barely support his massive arms, chest and neck.

Haha I've seen that 'look' before - massive upper body, puny little legs. Maybe too much weight-lifting and not enough concentrating on his legs!

OP, there are some people who will just criticize no matter what you do. It seems these days if you stay out the gym and don't exercise, you're lazy and don't want to change. If you do go to the gym, people will stare and make assumptions. But that's only a few people who evidently have nothing better to do, and that's their problem. Keep doing what you're doing, sounds like you're doing great.

P.S. Re. "flabby arse" - I worry that I'll lose mine if I keep exercising. It's not flabby (and I doubt yours is either) but I'd rather have it than be bony, imagine how uncomfortable sitting on a skinny, bony arse would be.

To be honest, apart from them looking at you, you don't know what they're thinking. In the nicest possible way, the chances are that they really aren't that interested in you.

I'm bigger than you, although shrinking (!) and I've started at the gym. I have a physical disability, so can only do 2 or 3 machines, last about a quarter of the time of most people and a fast walk for me is probably most people's idea of how dying people walk. But you know what? Fuck it. I am so proud of myself for being confident enough to even go in there. I don't care what I look like or how I exercise. I am doing it for me.

They might be looking at you and thinking "good on you" or thinking that you've improved from last time. It might not be negative or they might be twats.

Honestly just ignore em. There's a group of posing men at the weights who check out the women very overtly at my gym. At first I felt self-conscious walking past as I imagined they were talking about the size of my ass, which used to be huge! But then I realised who actually gives a stuff? And have happily ignored them ever since.

I shall be going later and will report back.

People who forget leg day make me snigger.

I'm just starting out at the gym and I'm as self conscious as you feel... I downloaded a lot of fast 'fuck you' rock songs into my ipod thingy and listen to them as I do my 20 minutes on the cross trainer!

My biggest problem, I'm 20 stone and a size 24. I'm so unfit, I've got to start somewhere. So if I do 20 minutes then go home it looks really lame. But I'm trying to build up to doing a little bit longer every time I go.

I do try and hide in the corner, but that's near 'man corner' with the weights and the mirrors. Those blokes are too busy looking at each other though. Didn't half freak me out when people doing some sort of circuit class kept running in front of me, but they were timing their run from one end of the gym to the other so they were ignoring me too!

If the delivery I'm waiting in for today ever turns up, I shall go again this afternoon. Good for you op! And everyone else who is making an effort to be the person they want to be.

Do you have a choice of local gyms? Some are much much worse for this than others.

If you want to work out in public, people will look. I realise you're convinced they're staring, but there's no point in getting wound up over 'what are you looking at?'. Just go there and do what you set out to do - sod what anyone else thinks or looks at.

Think you might be reading too much into the looks. When I run in the gym, I stare into the mirror and probably have a horrible disgusted grimace look on my face. The TV is at the wrong angle for me while running and I'm generally trying to work through the discomfort and keep running!

Alpaca, 20 minutes was all I could manage a month ago. Now I can tootle about on the bikes (the ones with a backrest and solitaire) for ages. I do a few short bursts of going fast and then keep a steady pace the rest of the time.

I hate cross trainers and can't do more than 5 minutes. I reckon they aren't the best for short arses like me.

Thanks for the inspiration youthecat! I've literally been going for just under a fortnight... I know it's stupid to go bonkers at the beginning which would just result in injury or burnout. I'm more trying to get into a habit of going regularly and build up gradually into longer times.
I used to be so fit, just two years ago I did a thirteen mile walk for charity which was not a problem at all but since I've started a new job where get the bus then I sit a lot more I've just piled on weight.

Me too! I've been going about 6/7 weeks and it's like a habit now. I can't say I exactly enjoy it. I know some people enthuse about how great they feel and all those endorphins, but I don't hate it either so am getting there slowly.

I know I will sit on my bum for 6 weeks of the summer so I had to do something to get me out of the house.

We'll get there.

I go to gym a lot and I have never seen this happening to anyone. Generally people look totally disinterested in other people (which is great!). If someone looks like s/he is staring it's actually glazing through trying to focus on the work out. And people who look at the mirror while working out are just checking their form which is very important.
Could it be that they are just chatting and laughing between themselves while working out? If you are sure they were really laughing at you, what I realized is that every gym has a certain atmosphere to it, so maybe try another gym with more relaxed atmosphere where you will feel more comfortable.

I find that really sad, you are going to the gym to lose weight yet slim people are judging you?

Gosh, people are definitely staring at me, judging by this thread. I do about twenty minutes total then have a cappuccino. It's because I'm recovering from serious illness and physically can't do much more! And the cappuccino is my reward, okay?

(I don't always have the cappuccino !)

Gym was a bit quiet.

There was one leery bloke but I was with dp.

I'm a bit overweight at the moment, but didn't like some of the comments about serious gym goers tbh.

I lift and and I lift heavy. I'm overweight now, but I wasn't always. Why laugh at the guys in the free weights area, but then expect them to not notice you at all?

There are always funny gym behaviours and more than the odd individual has had me doing a double-take (the big guy who skipped leg day forever, the serious body builder who shrieks on every lift - including 15kg curls, the woman who keeps turning up to the gym in completely see-through leggings and no drawers to squat in). There are always individuals, but I'm not comfortable with grouping people then tarring them all with the same brush (btw OP - I don't think this is what you were aiming for, because it sounds like a particular group of women need to grow up. It was more some of the later comments.).

Fitness assumptions might work for populations but they don't work for individuals. (Fat people might on general be slower runners for example, but that doesn't mean that's true of the fat person in front of you. After all, you are both in a gym and that in itself - if regular - separates you from a big chunk of the population).

Good luck OP and as they absolutely never said in Rome 'Illegitimi non carborundum'

Am I not allowed my inward snigger at the bloke who forgot leg day then? I don't stare. I don't point and laugh so I don't see what harm it does.

I'm quite sure people have an inward giggle at me and my attempts.

So long as it's to themselves I have no problem.

Yes, I was also wondering what the difference is between you being amused by the men trying to get fit in their own way and the women being amused by you trying to get fit.

I think the difference is it was a group of women discussing the OP.

You can think what you like in your head, it's when it leaves your lips it's a problem.

I see.

People probably stare at me in the gym. I'm size 12 -14, bigger than I'd like to be and wanting to lose weight, but anyway, the reason that people might well stare at me in the gym is nothing to do with my size- I choose my gym music carefully and put together fantastic playlists and I dance to them. I don't really care if I look silly dancing away on the cross trainer, it's fab. I don't sing along though, that'd be annoying.

The longer you spend in the gym the more likely you are to stare at people??

Really???

This is the exact attitude that puts people off going to the gym in the first place. Just get on with your own exercises and mind your own business.

And as for the weirdos who sit around the changing rooms fully dressed and texting away on their phones. What's that about?