To get really annoyed at people that always have to dominate conversations?

[BrazilNil]

I went to lunch today with a group of 3 other friends.

One of the friends, I'll call her Lucy, is generally a nice person, but loves the sound of her own voice and whenever she is there she totally dominates the conversation.

As soon as we'd arrived at the restaurant today Lucy started talking about herself and about some (fairly normal, mundane) things that she's done lately. She has a loud voice and just talked over anyone else that tried to talk.

If at any point any of us started to talk about anything, Lucy jumped in quickly and turned the conversation back round to being about her, comparing anything else that was said to something that she had done or had happened to her.

I was talking about a family member of mine that is very unwell and Lucy interrupted and started talking about the fact that her daughter was off school for two days last week with an ear infection. Everything has to come back to being about her. Another friend mentioned a holiday that she has just booked, and within a few minutes the conversation was back on to Lucy and about holidays she has been on in the past.

I know in theory we should all just keep talking, but in practise with someone like Lucy it's difficult as her voice is very loud and she is very dominant. She just seems to expect to be listened to. I find her very frustrating.

AIBU?

Yes we all know a Lucy ...

I just tend to avoid eye contact and finish the conversation I was having with another in the group. I agree you need to cut of their airtime.

Phew, I think, I was starting to get worried, I think I can venture in Lucy territory, but mostly I just talk a lot and get others involved in conversations. I am loud though. I work with a Lionel, but he's so annoying because, he talks in a quiet monotone voice and pauses for this long between everysingleword!!!!

It drives me bat shit crazy, because I talk at five million miles an hour, it wouldn't be so bad if his monotone voice of neverendingness told you something really interesting but it doesn't, not ever!!! The only, and I mean only slight blessing is when he says "to cut a long story short" and I actually think bloody hell that might save an hour at this rate.

I hate - my dd is a real life Lucy too, as in the name, not the personality (but only because she's 16mo old, so she could well be)

I have a Lucy as a friend. I couldn't give her up as she's so helpful. She talks / and talks / and talks. She knows hardly anything about me because I hardly ever get a word in. I don't mind though because it just means that I have a private life.

my sil is a Lucy so even though I would normally avoid this sort of person I am forced to socialise with her and it's exhausting. What's worse is the rest of my inlaws, DH, me and mutual friends are all quieter than her so she takes full advantage and its quite obvious how much she is enjoying centre stage.
She's also incredibly two-faced so its frustrating to see the others lavishing her with attention whilst knowing what she has said about them all.
Combine the above with being a self-confessed show-off with a lot more money than tact and you have my delightful sil. One of these days I'm going to start a thread asking for advice on how to deal with her.

Thing is I also know another Lucy but she's more bearable because she is a brilliant raconteur (raconteuse??) who can make a story about the dullest event entertaining!

She's also great at cutting to the relevant bits so you don't get any of the interminable "....so the garage rang on the Tuesday....or was it the Wednesday.....no! It was the Thursday because I'd just put the bins out! So anyway they didn't have the part for the car so I said right you can give me a discount because we've already waited a week....or was it 8 days....ooh it could even have been 9 because blah blah blah...."

I have heard it called hijacking a conversation, where its always turned around to that person. I know a Lucy too, normally I am quite chatty but I end up looking like I have zero personality, cause I can't get a word in edge ways!

Openup41 - my 'Lucy' doesn't have children. I have 4. Luckily, she's always on hand for handy advice about them

That's another Lucy thing, imo. They always know everything about everything. Amazing how they've filled their relatively short lives with such varied experience

thing is, if you are a bit of a Lucy, it's really hard to adjust your behaviours in a gradual and sustainable way.

Life coach? Tape recorder? harsh feedback?

My Luciness is partly about insecurities, partly because I'm passionate about certain things and thinking about them all the time and they just come out. I don't change the subject to myself but take people's light conversations further and longer than they wanted them to go IYSWIM.

Do any other Lucys have certain friends that somehow relax you and let your Luciness abate, but ohers who just make you go full-on Lucy so that your mouth keeps working even as you try to stop? I cherish the former and would like to thank them for making my life nicer xx

By the way, if anyone wants to start a thread for recovering Lucys I'll join it.

weneed, the ones that I've known over the years wouldn't be interested in adjusting their behaviour, they genuinely wouldn't care. Because everything they have to say is so much more important and interesting than anything else.

From what you've said, you're not a Lucy, just a chatterbox. Nowt wrong with that.

If you think you're a Lucy you probably aren't - right?

My MIL is one :( she's also always late and I think they tie in together, like she's so important that it doesn't matter and other people have no plans/don't want to talk so she can arrive whenever she feels like because she was doing something 'important', not apologise for being late but instead regale you with stories of what she was doing which was so important, more important than being on time, and is usually irrelevant to everyone else.

Grr

If you're a Lucy on the outside but only a chatterbox on the inside, are you still a Lucy?

Mind you, the orignal Lucy didn't sound horrible, just lacking in skills. So it could be worse.

Moo I agree, if you think you are "Lucy" then you are not, don't worry pp.

I think the type of person we are talking about really fall into the narcissist category.

For example some one could say they are getting married on the 15th of October, the conversation the gets changed to "that's the date my mouse died 5 years ago". Everyone stops conversation wondering why this was relevant, but then "Lucy" will carry on with this topic, and then every other pet that passed away. Thus derailed from a friends news, and the original topic is not mentioned again.

Do you think we are offending people called Lucy now

YY Silver. Exactly.

I work with a Lucy. She doesn't lack confidence. She interrupts me (and everybody else, including the Big Boss). I have found myself putting my hand up and saying 'let me finish' when I'm trying to tell her something she needs to know - then she finishes my sentence for me, usually wrongly. Aaaargh. These people are very wearing, whatever the reasons for their behaviour.

Phew....after following this thread, I actually asked a few friends and they said I wasn't a classic Lucy. (I do listen to them) I am just a gobshite!! Like a lot of you, I have to fill a silence....don't know why....

My friends reassured me that they love me, all of me...even the gobby side of me...

I was really worried for a while.

I know a Lucy. She is lovely though. She's loud and Scottish and funny but does tend to bring the conversation back to herself or her opinion every few minutes. Her redeeming qualities (she dan make you howl with laughter) outweigh the lucyism though.

For the record my only RL friend who is called Lucy is not a Lucy at all.

There's a Lucy on my train to work in the mornings. I've started getting in a different carriage now. She drives me fucking insane. Her friends seem to lap it up. She also has a very LOUD voice. It's impossible to block her out...

Tried playing my Lucy at her own game the other day - when she couldn't Lucy me she turned her back!