To get really annoyed at people that always have to dominate conversations?

[BrazilNil]

I went to lunch today with a group of 3 other friends.

One of the friends, I'll call her Lucy, is generally a nice person, but loves the sound of her own voice and whenever she is there she totally dominates the conversation.

As soon as we'd arrived at the restaurant today Lucy started talking about herself and about some (fairly normal, mundane) things that she's done lately. She has a loud voice and just talked over anyone else that tried to talk.

If at any point any of us started to talk about anything, Lucy jumped in quickly and turned the conversation back round to being about her, comparing anything else that was said to something that she had done or had happened to her.

I was talking about a family member of mine that is very unwell and Lucy interrupted and started talking about the fact that her daughter was off school for two days last week with an ear infection. Everything has to come back to being about her. Another friend mentioned a holiday that she has just booked, and within a few minutes the conversation was back on to Lucy and about holidays she has been on in the past.

I know in theory we should all just keep talking, but in practise with someone like Lucy it's difficult as her voice is very loud and she is very dominant. She just seems to expect to be listened to. I find her very frustrating.

AIBU?

Well, I am going to try harder not to be a Lucy Wendy Doogy Lucy.

There is a kind of me me me I hate.

THE FB LUCY/WENDY

There is one who posts about 50 times a day, I had to hide her stream. She posts every choon she plays over a week! FB diarrhoea.

The other FB Lucy I know is a very self glorifying friend who I am liking less now every sporting achievement she posts, date night with hubby, child achievement, meal gone out for. It is so self regarding. My sis is on her own and won't go on FB any more , she says it's just for bragged. I like it for keeping on touch with those who are far away......

We have a male Lucy in our social circle. He's got the loudest voice, an even louder, irritating laugh and he thinks he's the world's expert on everything. Not only does he totally dominate the conversation, but we're also treated to mini lectures on any subject we happen to be trying to talk about - as though we're all complete numpties.

Without him there, the conversation meanders quite happily between everyone in the group. But I've got to the stage that, when he arrives, I just clam up - it's well nigh impossible to get a word in edgeways.

He does ask questions sometimes, but I don't think he actually listens to the answers. Last December he asked me three times, in the space of a week, what we were doing for Christmas. The second time he asked, I just repeated what I'd told him the first time. On the third occasion I said to him "this is the third time you've asked me this in the space of a week - we're still doing what I told you previously". He didn't apologise - he just laughed.

I have a SIL who is a Lucy both in real life and on Facebook. Whatever you are talking about becomes about her and she just talks over you in a loud voice all the time. When she phones me it's a 30 min monologue from her while I sit and just say 'mmm' every now and again watching the TV. She doesn't listen to anything you say to her despite the fact she will ask for advice but then 2 mins later is back to herself again.

The Facebook statuses really do my head in though. Every 5 mins some days is another one about her or her children and every tiny detail of their lives is posted for everyone to see.

I don't mind the constant talking about herself so much, it's more the just not listening to anyone else and cutting across other conversations to make it about herself again.

Oh my god. I recently spent a week staying with a Lucy. It was torture. She literally didn't come up for breath! Lucys are so infuriating because they really think they have all the answers and let you have them whether yiu askef for them or not.

NDN is a kind hearted Lucy but still a Lucy.

Ironically I do know a person who is actually called Lucy and is the opposite of a Lucy. She is lovely. So I feel slightly mean slagging off Lucys!

"We have a male Lucy in our social circle. He's got the loudest voice, an even louder, irritating laugh and he thinks he's the world's expert on everything."

Oh I hate the male Lucy, the Lionel I will call him he is even worse. You mention a subject and he had to give you a dozen facts about said subject just to prove how clever he is and you're not!

Gosh I didn't realise I felt so passionately about Lucys and Lionels till this thread! Thanks OP, this has been like therapy

I remember once going out for a meal with my brother and his DP, we were sat in the restaurant next to a group of female friends who were obviously having a catch up/night out. One woman seemed to completely dominate the conversation. She was talking at the rest of the group, her voice was incredibly loud, we could hear every single thing she said and so could everyone else in the vicinity. Literally no one else could get a word in edge ways. Whenever someone would chip in with a comment she had an answer for it,

My brother (who's not quiet himself) even commented "Christ, is she going to let the others speak?". She really got on our nerves, and we weren't even sitting with her!

I'm a Lucy, I was the deprived middle child, I'm sorry. Luckily I work with someone who out-Lucys me and being on the receiving end has really helped me STFU in other situations.

I used to be a Lucy. I honestly never realised I did it until one day in my appraisal it was pointed out to me. I like to talk and just think that I am making connections (in my head anyway! ). I have since curtailed it and am very conscious not to do it now.

In my case it's learned behaviour and my dad does it constantly and it now drives me mad!

My Sister has a tendency to ask questions all the time but not listen to the answers. It's the most frustrating of conversations as you are halfway through the answer (that she has no interest in hearing) before she is asking another or talking about herself.

My Mother, who spends a lot of time in her company, now does the same. Thankfully it is not so entrenched so by the end of a day together she will revert back to 'normal' again.

I deal with it by keeping the chat very shallow. Even if a question gets asked that could be deep, I answer very briefly with the minimum of information given. I also love the fact that we sleays meet up with children now so there are constant distractions and so conversation is at a minimum.

I can totally be a Lucy. I come across as really confident but inside I'm a quivering mass of insecurity. I'm worried if the conversation dies down to an awkward silence the people I am talking to won't like me and think I'm dull. And I really just want to be liked.
I also have pretty bad hearing and struggle to hear in loud environments. The more I struggle the harder it gets to monitor my own volume, so my voice gets louder and louder.
I do try to watch myself though and I do ask lots of questions rather than input my own stories and opinions, I just try too hard.
I'll do my best to shut up more I promise.

TheSame. Lionel - genius! I've been trying to think of a man's name beginning with L

There's an even more irritating type of Lucy/Lionel - they are the ones with the crystal ball!

They ask you a question and before you've got the sentence halfway out they decide they already know what you are going to say and jump to entirely the wrong conclusion. They then spend the next ten minutes telling you how wrong you are.

I am an introverted Lucy. Which I know seems impossible, but it's true.

I spend a lot of time in my own company and people exhaust me, but when I do get into a group of people it's like deer in headlights and I babble to cover up my nerves.

Or the topic moves to something I'm passionate and know a lot about (which given that I spend most of my life in a book or taking random courses or researching something to death on the internet is just about every topic) so ALL THE INFORMATION has to come out of my head RIGHT NOW.

It's worse when I'm in a new group of people I don't know very well. It's like some part in my head that takes over and I hate it.

If it's any consolation, I then spend most of my downtime for days afterwards analysing everything I said and how I should have done better or shut the fuck up. Then I "solve" it by avoiding people for a while just until the point where my brain is desperate for some outside connection, meet up with someone and I go back into blurt mode again.

It's a bit of a vicious cycle and I am sorry :(

Oh dear, I think I'm a bit of a Lucy.

In my defence, I find silences in conversation really uncomfortable. So when there's a gap I start talking about any old bollocks. And before I know it I'm rambling on and on while people just stare at me. I do try not to though.

And I'm forgetful. So I'll sometimes ask the same question more than once in the same conversation.

Same here Rubber. Deer in headlights is a perfect way of describing it.

I think I’m a bit of a Lucy but i think it comes from being quite shy and unconfident as a young teen. I had a group of friends at high school who being a large group of girls were at one time or another often falling out with each other and often more like frenemies. I was the odd one out, literally, there was an uneven number of us so when it came to sitting together and pairing off, i was usually the one left to tag along, except when a couple had fallen out and suddenly it was a competition to be with me and not be the one left alone.
It was only as an older teen as i broke away and made other friends that i stopped feeling insignificant and realised people were interested in what I had to say and then boom, you could not shut me up and a Lucy was born. I do make a conscious effort to not talk and listen instead though.

I have met a Mega Lucy at uni, she would just obviously get bored of whatever conversation she wasn’t a central point in and just start talking over you with a completely different subject (rather than dominating an existing conversation). Most of the time people (myself included) would just shut up and allow it to happen. One time however i decided not to give in, and carried on talking, it end up with us both talking loudly at our mutual friend who was looking back and forth between us like some kind of tennis match, it was ridiculous. Mega Lucy also had form for going into a strop if when she walked into a room everyone didn’t immediately stop what they were doing to pay attention to her. So there were plenty of other issues there too.

I know a Lucy and she drives me mad (family member)

I have "Lucy" traits and I really have to make an effort not to be a Lucy

I do try...and I am so pleased that when I clicked on the thread that I didn't recognise myself

YANBU

I have witnessed several Lucy's in the same place. It was a night out with a bunch of Dps actor friends. Very entertaining, it descended to them getting louder and louder and shouting over each other the attempt to be the one dominating the conversation.

I think that's my advice, set a Lucy on another Lucy and watch them go.

Our Lionel does that too, taxi. A while back I mentioned an ex-colleague - the conversation wasn't about her, as none of them knew her, but she was relevant to what we were talking about. I'd only got as far as "oh, I have an ex-colleague who .... ", when he jumped in with "I bet you hated her". Me and "um, no, she's an extremely nice woman. I was just trying to say ..."

Wow really impressed with all the self aware Lucy's

I forgot about Facebook Lucy's - they are the ones that do the 100 days of happiness crap. "I'm happy because it's sunny" I know I live in the same bloody town. Grrrr

I don't think I know a Wendy is this one of those things where if you don't know a Wendy you are the Wendy, eek

ALL of my IL's do this, including DP. Sunday lunch with them is a total nightmare!

When DP does it I simply continue talking, louder and louder, until he shuts up and let's me finish! It's as if the entire family have never had the art of polite conversation explained to them.

Once his granny started it with me. I was talking about our cats and she interrupted me "I hate cats" so I just carried on talking while she looked confused. When I had finished she said "now why would you keep talking after I told you I wasn't interested in cats?" I had to explain it was because she interrupted me.

We don't visit much

lets not let's. Bloody phone.

WhenSheWasBad that make me laugh! I've never seen anyone make it to 100 days of crap, thinking about it, they seem to peter out don't they!

I am in stitches! My NDN Lucy just came in (post post!) to house and started to do a Lucy on my Dad. He just turned around and said "I didn't hear any of that because I wasn't listening to you!"

If only I had the guts to be so forthright!

Sending non MN hugs to all the Nervous Lucys though