I probably am but it's doing my head in. DP has been divorced around 4 years. We've been together around 2.5 years. Every holiday or weekend away we've been on he's whinged on about missing his kids - hear me out because I know that sounds bad.
His kids are 17 and 18 years old. They visit every Saturday (well, youngest one does, eldest tries to get out of it more these days and who can blame him? he's 18, who wants to be stuck with daddy every saturday night at 18?). Anyway, we first went away for a weekend about 3 months into the relationship and he went on about his kids and how he was missing them the entire time. Same again when we went away a few months later. I let it go but lets be honest, who wants to go away with someone who is constantly wishing they were with someone else? no matter who that someone else is. I felt awkward.
We went away after a year for two weeks with my kids on a two week holiday. His kids couldn't come although I would have been happy for them to come. Well for the entire two weeks he went on about how he was missing his kids, how he felt guilty that he was taking someone elses kids away and not his own, how his kids would have loved the things we were doing, how he so wishes his kids were there to enjoy it - yeah it's nice and noble that he thinks about his kids so much but there comes a point where you start to question why you're even there if the company he's with is so shit that he spends the entire time going on about his 'real' family.
We went away again a few months later, just me and him and again he spent the entire weekend going on about how he was missing his kids, how he felt guilty because this specific thing we were doing was something he used to do with his kids and ex wife, how he wishes his kids were there etc etc. I just felt so awkward and felt like I was second choice and if he had the option he'd have his old life back in a heartbeat.
We've just been away again (same place as it's a yearly event) and he did the same thing again. Going on about how his kids should be there because it was "their thing" and how he used to love taking them there and how he missed them etc etc. I snapped at this point, 2.5 years later I'm still being made to feel like the booby prize so I told him this. I told him the way he goes on makes me feel like I'm second choice and if his ex said to him "let's get back together and we'll take the kids away as a family like we used to" he'd do it without a second thought. He disagreed and apologised and said he's "trying" to get used to having a new family. But he doesn't treat me like family at all though, he's constantly pining for his "real" family. It does me in that everytime we go away I have to listen to this and then remember phOTOS Ive seen of him truely enjoying holidays with his real family and how happy and content he looked.
Anyway we're going away in 4 weeks for a big two week holiday. AIBU to wish that just for once, he would treat me as if I'm the one he actually wants to be there with?